"I always cannot understand why girls don't wanna be with me for a long time, because I have really a nice personality. I'm fun. I'm very, very good in the... You're not supposed to say that when you're a guy. But I know I am. They know I am. And... I don't fight with them, I'm so passive. Bit of a patsy! Is that a turnoff to girls, to be a patsy? I mean it's not... it's not that I'm a total great guy. I'm a lot of fun and have a good life going. I don't know what's going on. I always wished I was gay. Would've been a lot easier. You know? You can just "bing-bing-bing." Gay guys have no problem. I mean they go to restrooms and truck stops, and they perform sex. It's like so easy for 'em and stuff. But you know what? Alas, Timothy Treadwell is not gay. Bummer! I love girls! And girls... Girls need a lot more... need a lot more, you know, finesse and care, and I like that a bit. But when it goes bad and you're alone, it's like... Well, you know, you can't rebound like you can if you were gay. I'm sure gay people have problems too, but not as much as one goofy straight guy named Timothy Treadwell. Anyway, that's my story. That's my story."
