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As I felt a bit weird past few days, no happiness from anything what I've done, now, the optimistic me is coming back... yeah, few things didn't work out as I'd like to, but nevermind.
I wanted to do the FCE certificate in London, but it's way too demanding with money and time and plus I don't need it right now, if I ever wanted to apply for a foreign university, I need the certificate 4 years old at maximum.
Today my brother has his 26th b-day, and so we have barbecue, and cakes, and all the sweet staff, it's really nice because of the easy atmosphere and time spent with my whole family which I won't see for few next months...
But still I don't feel like going anywhere, yeah, I'm slightly starting to looking forward my 'trip', but on the other hand, I can't still believe I'm going somewhere until I have my bus ticket (I can't imagine to travel for 24hours in a bus!!! hope somebody nice will be sitting next to me :D).
That reminds me that today, I had to think about Veruuu :P she may be in L.A. already or maybe stay at Paris airport for night... she's brave anyway, but I already miss her :(
Okey, gonna get a cake so hyvää yötä maailmaaaaaaa :D

yep, so here I am... I made it... actually all my exams with the best marsks and what... I feel more than depressed, I feel desperate
yes, I'm supposed to be near London from 23-6 until 23-9 and what... I feel I would kill myself
why I never can be happy at least for a minute? there is always have to be something what ruins it... kill me please (meaning it literally)

*praying for everything*
keeping my fingers crossed, maybe it will be all decided by the end of this week :P

my whole situation gets scary, the last two exams frighten me, because they are last and what if...
and then, the situation about summer, I even get text messages from unknown people O.o
but it's funny on the other hand
and today I found my dream again, not that much different from my old ones :D
so I pray to come true

too many things in one day *but I enjoyed after all, thx*

ovšemže myslím ten film...
byl nádhernej, úžasnej, opravdu super a po něm jsem zplodila tohle (v originále v Aj, ale nemůžu to sem hodit v Aj, prtž by tomu bylo rozumět):

"Dnes v noci jsem měla krásný sen...
slunce teple svítilo na písčitý břeh..
vánek si jemně pohrával s mými vlasy..
tak jsem zavřela oči a ucítila, jak někdo stojí velice blízko mě...
tak blízko, že jsem cítila jeho vůni..
jeho dech na mé tváři..
a ochutnala jeho duši skrze dotyk jeho sametových rtů...
Pak jsem otevřela oči a on byl pryč..
tak jsme se probudila a zjistila jsem, že to nebyl jenom sen..."

PS: Počet teček je důležitej, 2 = významná pomlka v hlase; 3 = nový odstavec :D

so I wrote a msg to Terka and she told me lots of very important info for me and so I decided,
I cannot go to Pori, at least not to that family
surprisingly I feel reliefe, but I feel scared of the fact, that I will probably stay here for the summer (that's my worse nightmare)
so let's hope

*reminds me of KWAN* when I'm in reminding, I remembered the 'quote' "Wake me up... when September ends" :) lovely

just few words for me to remember :)

You see = Jussi
You ha...ve = Juha with some kind of imagination

when I remembered the rest what I wanted to write down, I will add it (but I know my mind, it's unreliable)

oh and can't forget... I listen to uusi Sara all over again, I love more than just "Rauhan aika", I simply love the voice of Joa, but not only :)

edit: jo, ne = Jonne
ja, ne = Janne

Dekuju, dekuju, diky diky, kiita paljon, dikes, danke schön, ďakujem, muchas gracias, grazie ja merci!!!
Big big thank You for Your email, Your words made me feel better and gave me courage!
I will reply them and see, and You're right, the biggest fear is that I'm frightened of my lack of Finnish and I guess Terka studied Finnish at that time when she was there, so it wasn't a huge prob for her!

Oki, listening to Jennifer Lopez album Como Ama Una Mujer (nice title :D, I really need a recipe how to be a woman :D)... ah nice change and from tomorrow on I'm gonna learn law and economy, yay, can't wait (*saying ironicly*).

And now all of You just bow in front of Pee!!!! YOU RULEZ!!!

hehe I'm watching old Tik Tak live vids :D :D :D
it's prettyyyyy :P lol