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[Ei aihetta]Sunnuntai 19.10.2008 03:50

I've got a big black cloud over my head. For the last 3 months, I've been calm, collected, and happy, but the past week has been hell. I feel really down, I haven't been sleeping or functioning properly, and I feel as though I've had enough. I'm hoping that it's just violent pmt Sad Also I'm completely obsessed with "Mun Koti ei oo täällä" by Chisu (NOT the Uniklubi cover version), and it feels like it's 'my' song- I really don't belong here, but then where *do* I belong? Why can't I establish relationships like everybody else seems to, am I really that hard to get on with? I feel like I'm never going to be enough for anyone, whilst other people get everything going right for them. I try, but I just fail at everything. I don't know what I want or anything. I'm not in-your-face, I'm not stunningly pretty nor am I hot, I'm just distinctly average, there's nothing great about me. People think I'm uptight and cold. Perhaps they're right :(

[Ei aihetta]Lauantai 11.10.2008 21:39

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

I should have known better...Maanantai 06.10.2008 18:53

Ensimmäinen päivää ensimmäisestä semesteriasta ja istun tietokoneella kursin välillä kirjoittamaan jotain mitä mua ärsyttää.

Kuin näette mun ihkuboksissani, olen menoss viikonlopuks suomeen lopussa marraskuussa, tehdä vähän shoppailua ja mennä katsomaan Flinchiä Turussa. <jännä>

Ensimmäinen luento tänään oli saksaa, todella kiinostava, ja Elina on mun kursissa munkaa :D Opettajamme antoi meille listan, joista lukee tärkeät päivämäärät jne. Meillon Week 10ssa 2 koet, eli Ma. 1.12, ja jos emme oo sillon paikalla tehdä koet, siis emme voi tehdä niitä ollenkaan. Tiesin, hetki kun Emma sanoi siitä, että mulla olisi ongelmia, ja katselin kalenteriin ja näin että olin oikea. Mullon/oli ISO ongelma: palaan Englantiin Tampereelta Ma.1.12 klo 2345, siis ilmeisesti en saa olla yliopistossa päivällä. Siis meiän on pakko vaihtoa meiän lennot, siis palaan nyt sunnuntaina eikä maanantaina. Se tarkoittaa siis, että meil on vaan sunnuntai Tampereella. Ajatus oli, että vietäisimme 2 päivää Tampereella- tahdon kauheasti käydä Delfinaariossa, ja myös mennä Näsinneulaan ja Pyynikin näkötorniin ottaa kuvia Tampereella talvella (eli toivon että siel olis jo sillon lunta, haha) Mutta joo. Ei oo nyt ihan kuin tahdoin. Mennään vielä Näkötorneille tietysti, mutta se pitää olla nyt sunnuntaina. Noh, ei se mitään. Hyvää juttua on, että se olisi halvempaa tehdä noin, kun emme tarvitse maksaa toiselle hotelille. Jippiiiiiiiiiii.

Siis joo, mä meen nyt stalkaata Leoa, se olis tyhmä lähteä jo kotiin ennen päivän kolmas luento, siis mennään syömään tai jotain sellästä. Emmätiä. Tarvitsen tänään maksaa uudet lennot, ja katsoa leffaa jota sain Saksankielisten toimistosta, se on "Das Leben der Anderen", eli "Toisten elämäät" ainakin luulen niin XD Se kusee etten saa kääntää suoraan saksastia suomeen.

[Ei aihetta]Torstai 25.09.2008 00:19

1.Where did your last kiss take place?
Lion Walk, Colchester.

2. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Leggi and Lazu

3. Four words to explain why you last threw up?
I was not well.

4. Have you ever burned yourself?
I'm always burning myself on something. I'm what you call an 'idiot' :)

5. What's crazy to you?
The world.

6. Favorite cuss word:
Depends on why I'm swearing.

7. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
Lord knows. I don't care though.

8. Who is your hero?
Firemen, Soldiers.
No amount of money could make me do what they do. They've all got balls of steel!

9. Would you ever want to be a supermodel?
Hell no.

10. Who is the most experimental person you know?
Everybody's experimental in one way or another.

11. Do you tell white lies?
Rarely.


12. When is your next party?
Don't know. My Grill Party is postponed at the moment for obvious reasons.

13. Who do you want to be with right now?
Good question.

14 Do you scratch when and where you want to scratch?
Erm, usually?

15. How do you handle a break up?
Pretty well, I think.

16. Your motivation for tomorrow?
RHUBARB <3
I'm SO fickle XD

17. Do you know what you will wear tomorrow?
Dress and a t-shirt.

18. Last person to make you laugh?
Äiti/Jono

19. Last thing you ate?
Chocolate brownies :D

20. Do u ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
No!!!

21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?
Yes, and it's foul!

22. Do daddy long legs freak you out?
No, but I'm not too keen on them.

23. Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?
No, thank the lord.

24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
Erm, not for a long long time XD

25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
Nope! I don't have any pets, and even if I did have, I still wouldn't.

26. Do you talk baby talk?
Nope. I think it's stupid.

27. What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
All of them.

28. Do you watch court tv?
no

29. Would you ever work in a retirement home?
Nope

30. Do you believe plants have feelings?
Yes. Call me a nutter if you must, but it's what I believe.

31. Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts?
Sometimes

32. Do you have nervous twitches?
Erm...

33. Are you ever purposely irritating?
Oh yes :D

34. If you could fly, where would you go first?
Back to Finland, although I don't have any money so it's not really a great idea.

35. Do you prefer boats or planes?
I like both, but I've flown more than I've sailed.

36. Love or lust?
Either would be nice, right now.

37. One best friend or 10 aquaintances?
One best.

38. Favorite food?
Depends on my mood :)

39. Do you believe that your first love never dies?
I'm not sure.

40. What upcoming event are you waiting and ready for?
Going back to Uni, Going to Finland, and of course, joining the party in Germany before Christmas.

41. Current smell?
Nothing

42. Do you get your nails done?
Nope, there's no point. I do too much manual work to bother about having pretty nails- I'm always covered in mud, or lifting heavy objects. Long nails'd only see my injury count rise substantially.

43. Most favorite person?
I don't have one.

44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?
What with working there, I take orders rather than make them.

45. Are you an emotional person?
Quite

46. Do you like your name?
Yeah

47. Do you have plans this weekend?
Working on Saturday.

48. Do you work?
Yeah I do :D

49. Do you dance naked in your room?
Nope

50. When did your last relationship end?
A little bit over 2 years ago.

51. What are you listening to right now?
Negative. You might want to take a photo, because me listening to Negative is about as rare as rocking horse sh*t :)

52. Biggest fear?
Spiders, Brooms, Fire.

53. How long have you been a part of myspace?
Since March 2004

54. Favorite place to be?
Pyynikki Ridge.

55. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, t-shirt, hoodie.

56. Are your toes painted?
No

57. Does anyone hate you?
Probably.

58. How many people do you trust fully?
0

59. Did you have fun doing this?
Cured the boredom

60. Are you thinking of someone right now?
No

[Ei aihetta]Sunnuntai 21.09.2008 08:21

i'm in shock. there was a fire this morning next door, and their fence, our fence, and the windows are ruined. i have to be up at 6am to go to work at 9, and i feel sick, and frightened. i cannot sleep now. it's only just sinking in what has happened, and it's horrible. i've taken pictures, so i will probably upload them later today. we met our neighbours, and it turns out one of the guys i work with lives on my street- he saw me in my pajamas XD an old lady went to hospital in shock, poor lady, and we made tea for the firemen, who are worth their weight in gold :)

[Ei aihetta]Sunnuntai 21.09.2008 01:59

If you had a baby with the last perso​n who texte​d you, would​ you be happy​ at this momen​t?​
Oh hell no!!!

Who was the last male to hold your hand?​
Can't remember. Possibly Dan when we were messing around.

Last perso​n you hugge​d?​
Äiti

Have you ever drank​ with your numbe​r one?
Actually, yes. Or rather *they* drank enough to floor an elephant whilst I stayed painfully sober ;-)

Are you bored​?​
At the moment, yes

What were you doing​ at 9:00 pm last night​?​
I'd just finished work, so I guess I was chatting to a customer?

Have you ever lived​ on a dirt/​grave​l road?​
Nope

Ever been swimm​ing in a lake or river​?​
Guilty on both counts :)

What'​s irrit​ating​ you right​ now?
The state of the kitchen.


How many diffe​rent house​s have you lived​ in throu​ghout​ your life?​
10 o.O

If someo​ne doesn​'​t like you, its usual​ly becau​se?​
they think I'm a bit of a cow, they think I'm too serious, and usually, they just don't know whether I'm serious or not. My sense of humour is a strange one, I guess.

What color​ cell phone​ do you have?​
It's pink :D

Are you a morni​ng perso​n or a night​ perso​n?​
Morning, I guess. I tend to sleep at night.

Where​ is your cell phone​?​
On the bed next to me.

What time did you go to sleep​ last night​?​
1ish?


Does the last perso​n you held hands​ with mean anyth​ing to you?
Good question. I enjoy spending time with him, and when we're together we have a ball- winding each other up. He has a crush on me, and I think that I feel similar, only I can't shake off the feeling of how wrong it is, because we're at different stages in our lives.

What'​s your ringt​one?​
Irrallaan, I think. Not sure XD


Who'​s the 1st perso​n on your misse​d calls​ list?​
Leggi

Backg​round​ on your cell phone​?
Marimekko Unikko

Where​ was your defau​lt pictu​re taken​?​
Tammerkoski, Tampere

What are you doing​ this weeke​nd?​
I worked all day today, and I'm working all day tomorrow.

Do you consi​der yours​elf a study​ freak​?​
I haven't been in the past, but I think that it's time to knuckle down now, because if I don't, I'm wasting my time and money, and I'll never get anywhere.

Last place​ you took a plane​ to?
Tampere, Finland.

Are you diffe​rent now than you were six month​s ago?
Very much so!

What does your last sent text messa​ge say?
It was translating something.


Have you ever drive​n witho​ut a licen​se?​
Nope, and I have no intention of doing so, either.

Do you usual​ly tell peopl​e when your mad at them?​
Nope, they very rarely notice.

Recen​tly kisse​d anyon​e with the name start​ing with R?
I don't think that I've ever kissed anybody whose name begins with an /R/

Last voice​ mail you recei​ved?​
Lord knows.

Do you think​ you are an argum​entat​ive perso​n?​
I can be when I get wound up, but these days it takes quite a lot to get me angry.

Will this weeke​nd be a good one?
Pfft, hard to say. I try and smile and be nice :)

How did you feel when you woke up today​?
Horrible. I felt so tired XD

Do you drink​ tea?
I do. Probably too much :D


Is anyon​e on your bad side right​ now?
Yeah right! I'm too happy to really care about anything negative.

Do you regre​t anyth​ing you have done in the past three​ month​s?​
Nope

Who is your first​ speed​ dial besid​es voice​mail?​
I don't use it.

Your favour​ite numbe​r?​
Erm, I don't have one.

When was the last time you had your hair cut?
Sometime in the Spring. Definitely before I went to Berlin... so sometime between February and April XD

Do you tell your paren​ts every​thing​?​
No.

When you go to the beach​ do you swim or lay out more?​
I can't swim very well, so I wouldn't try in the sea, because I'd probably drown or something like that. I do like to have a dip though, then lay on a towel and dry, then repeat as necessary :D

Do you think​ Starb​ucks is expen​sive?​
Yep, I don't use Starbucks.

Named​ after​ a famil​y membe​r?​
My grandmothers

Done anyth​ing illeg​al latel​y?​
Probably, but nothing intentional

Where​ did you sleep​ last night​?​
In my bed

Is there​ any emoti​on you'​re tryin​g to avoid​ right​ now?
Nope

Do you prefe​r regul​ar or choco​late milk?​
My special-homemade hot Chocolate :D

Do you sleep​ on your stoma​ch?​
Sometimes

Does your phone​ ring in the middl​e of the night​ often​?​
It has done in the past, but I doubt it will happen again in the future :D

[Ei aihetta]Lauantai 20.09.2008 03:59

minusta tuntuu liian rauhallinen. en sanois että oon totaalisesti iloinen, mutta hetkellä oon ehkä 98%. kaipaan kauheasti suomea, eli maata, ihmiset ja ruokaa. tahdon palaata sinne heti nyt, mutta vielä mun pitää odottaa 69 päivää. mun ruisleipää on lopunut jo :( siis mun täytyy käydä puolalaisessa kaupassa ens kertaa että käyn keskustassa- he myyvät ruisleipä Lietuasta, ja myös grillimakkarat XD Se näyttää että viimeisena aikana oon syönyt vain ulkomalainen ruoat. En enää syö englantilainen leipää, mehua eikä juustoa. Jos tahdon leipää käyn Puolalaisessa kaupassa, mehuakin löytyy sieltä. Makkarat saan Aldi tai Lidl:sta sama kuin juustoa, eli syön tanskalais ja norjalais juustoa :D Ne maistuvat hyvältä ja se on aika halva :D

oon ollu taas töissä tänä viikkona. tänään oli paikalla sekä Marino että Daniel. Daniel on ihastunut minuun >.< hän on 16V. Miksei aikuiset miehet tykkäävät minusta?! UGH! Asiakkat tykkäävät minusta XD mahdollisesti kun olen aina rauhallinen ja puhun hyvää XD mua ärsyttää että monia ihmisiä täällä eivät käydä kielioppimme kunolla. Se sattuu mun korvaan kuulla brittiläiset jotka eivät puhua hyvää englantia. no niin. Mun nimi-kortti lukee "Nemo" Ehkä 25 ihmiset ovat kysyleet minulta miksi mun nimi on Nemoa, onko koska tykkään Finding Nemo leffasta? Öm... eikä! On vain koska ensimäisessä kuukaudessa siellä, mullei oo ollu nimeä. Sitten päätyin että antaisin itselleni 2 nimeä (Feiseik ja Nemo). Valitsin Nemoa kun se tarkoittaa "Nimetön". Ihmiset eivät ymmärrää että se on ironia. Ehkä eivät saa mun humooria? Emt.

[Ei aihetta]Perjantai 19.09.2008 21:00

me ollaan tänään saanut kissan! OMG!

[Ei aihetta]Keskiviikko 17.09.2008 22:13

It's just so good to be home. Not.

Sean ja Luke (ex naapureita) ovat täällä. He ovat Mike ja Turkin kanssa olohuoneessa, siis oon huoneessani. Ihan kuin viime vuonna *rolleye* Oon vähän masentunut. Leo on töissä siis mullei oo ketään joille voin puhua. Mikäs yllätys.

Sitten, vielä jäljellä 72 päivää, ja lähden taas suomeen viikonlopuksi. Aion tehdä vähän Christmas Shopping Turussa ja Tampereella, ja myös me ollaan menossa katsomaan Flinchiä Turussa :-) Toivon että siellä oisi jo silloin lunta. Proper Joulu fiilis :'D

Sain aikatauluni eilen, en oikein ymmärrä sitä, mutta se näyttää etten tarvi olla käydä yliopistossa perjantaisin! like, OMG! Mun täytyy mennä 4 ranskankielen kurssiille ja 4 saksankielen. Tykkään saksankielestä, mutten rakasta yhtään ranskaa XD ho hum.

[Ei aihetta]Torstai 11.09.2008 15:17

oon tampereella. istun hetkellä metsossa tietokoneella. en oikeast tiedä mitäs sanoa. tunnen outa, mutten saa selittää miksi. ehkä se on koska mä oon väsynyt, en oo nukunut paljon viime yönä, ja heräsin klo 8. siis kävelin keskustaan bryanin asunnosta, ja matka oli lyhyt, n. puol tuntia. en saa hetkellä puhua kunnolla, vaikka ymmärrän melkein kaikkea. tapaan kohta Markkua, sen jälkeen lähden Valkeakoskelle :) Tarvitsen vielä mennä supermarketiin jne kun Bryanilla ei oo mikään kotona, ja tarvitsen leivota kakkua hänelle kun huomenna juhlitaan hänen synttäri. tai jtn. nojoo, mun kai pitää mennä, harjoitella suomea. tarvitsen koffeinia. toivottavasti kohta paranee :)