some feeling's of mine..Torstai 13.12.2007 20:46

If I stay, I will only be unhappy in here, so i’ll think i go now.
I will always love you all, but i think i’ve got to go now.
Sweet memories is all i’m taking with me so please dont cry, it’s better this way.
Don’t be mad for me, this is maybe selfish, but i think i just can’t stay here anymore.
Only what i was asking for all of you, is a big hug, and feeling that somebody loves me.
All i want, is that there are always someone who hug me when i need a hug.

But everybody just broke my heart.

All the time when somebody said “i love you” or “i care about you” it was a lie.
And every time when i hear that, my heart broke.

I just have a feeling that no matter what i do, it was not enough.

I’m not a good mother.
I’m not a good daughter.
I’m not a good sister.
I’m not a good friend.
I’m not a good wife.
I’m not a good lover.

And specially, i’m someone you just can’t love. At least you said so...

I’m enough for... Nothing...?

Here i sit in a dark livingroom, thinking how i want to die.
Car accident?
Under a train?
With drugs?
Or maybe i slit my wrist’s?

No, it’s none of those...

I die for sadness..

But not yet.....

I give one chance for life. But is a last one...

I am a coward. I scared death. Or no,i dont fear death itself, i’m afraid that i die without experience of real love.

Before i die, i need someone who say “i love you” and really mean it..
And i need someone who won’t say “go away” when i cuddle up under arm.
I need someone who is faithful just for me.
I need true friend.
I need someone who is mine bedrock.
I need someone who take care of me when i tire for all of this.
I need to be loved.
Is that too much to ask?

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