FRAKKI! Nyt äkkiä mulle jostain!Maanantai 31.12.2007 17:18

Me need frakki!

You contact me jos you have or you friend have.

Me pay $$$ or %%%

Hyvää Joulua!Maanantai 24.12.2007 15:08

Tässä nyt ilmoitan kaikille kavereilleni jotka vois sitte sanoa eteenpäin niille kavereille ketkä ei tätä näe. Niin Hyvää ja RAUHAllista Joulua teille kaikille.

Kiitos tuhannesti teidän tuhansista jouluviesteistä, en vastaa koska muuten istun puhelimen ääressä koko illan. Joten kiitän nyt tätä kautta!!!

Sex – it does the body good.

Yet most of us are quicker to hit the gym before hitting the sheets when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill.

As research confirms time and time again, good sex in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship can only better our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. Sex, in this context, offers us tons of benefits, most of which aren’t touted nearly enough.

Here are just a few benefits:

— Weight loss and weight control. Forget torturing yourself with the latest fad diet or hours on the elliptical machine when you can burn about 200 calories in 30 minutes of sex! Lovemaking lends itself to improved strength, flexibility, muscle tone, and cardiovascular conditioning. Plus, there’s something super sexy about getting to sleep with your very own “personal trainer.”

— Pain management. Forgo popping a pain killer and opt for something a bit more “au naturel.” Sex has been shown to offer migraine and menstrual cramp relief, as well as alleviate chronic back pain thanks to the endorphins and corticosteroids released during sexual arousal and orgasm.

— Stress relief. Sex, even if only with ourselves, impacts the way we respond to stress, increasing levels of oxytocin and stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation. What better way to unwind from a tough day than sharing its most climactic moment with your special someone?

— Immune booster. Stop spending late nights at the office. Sex wards off colds and the flu. And sexually active people take fewer sick days, giving the phrase “working late” an entirely new meaning. Bosses, take note.

— Better heart health. A little bit of heart and soul in the sack should be part of every doctor’s orders when it comes to cardiovascular care. Sex may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attack.

— Increased self-esteem and intimacy. When sex is consistent and involves mutual pleasure, it can increase bonding since the surge in oxytocin at orgasm stimulates feelings of affection, intimacy, and closeness. When spiritual in nature, sex can lead to an even better quality of life and stronger relationship. Is it any wonder that good sexual energy in a positive relationship can make you feel better about yourself, your partner, and life in general?

— Sleep enhancement. There’s no need to count sheep when sex, including masturbation, helps insomnia. Plus, making love sure beats tossing and turning your way to zzzz’s.

— A better, younger looking you. Sex keeps you looking and feeling younger and, according to some research, may lead to shiny hair, a glowing complexion and bright eyes. This is because it increases the youth-promoting hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone). And feeling more attractive charges your sex life even more.

— Mood lifter. Sex releases pleasure-inducing endorphins during arousal and climax that can relieve depression and anxiety, and increase vibrancy.

— Longevity. There is a significant relationship between frequency of orgasm and risk of death, especially with men. Men who orgasm two times a week have a 50 percent lower chance of mortality than those who climax one time per month. The bonus: Living longer also gives you and your honey the opportunity for even more lovin’!

— Decreased risk of breast cancer. One study of women who had never given birth found that an increased frequency of sexual intercourse was correlated with a decrease in the incidence of breast cancer.

— Reproductive health benefits. According to at least one study, sex appears to decrease a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and the prevention of endometriosis in women. It also promotes fertility in women by regulating menstrual patterns.

In a nutshell, the health benefits of sex in a good, solid relationship are practically endless. Yet, in planning our New Year’s resolutions, how many of us are declaring, “I think I’ll have more sex with my lover” in fulfilling any 2008 health and self-improvement goals?

While exercise on a regular basis is important to your health, sex can do so much more for you and your relationship. So before signing any dotted line for a new gym membership, consider how time allotted to an athletic club could be far more effective in your boudoir.

You can get a lot more bang for your buck in the bedroom, double your “membership” benefits, and, with sex breeding the desire for more sex, thanks to a boost in testosterone, it’s a workout plan you’re likelier to stick to.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

Hylkeen murhaustaMaanantai 10.12.2007 19:52

It's the new sport for tourists: killing baby seals

Wildlife and animal rights groups have condemned Norway's culling holidays

Juliette Jowit and Hildegunn Soldal
Sunday October 3, 2004
The Observer

It is the ultimate form of extreme holiday 'fun'. Tourists, bored with SAS survival weekends, trekking trips in the Antarctic and booking space flights with Richard Branson, will soon be able to fly to Norway - and shoot baby seals.

The decision to launch the vacations - which have aroused the fury of animal rights groups - follows the recent move by the Norwegian government to expand its annual culling of seals so that amateur enthusiasts can join in.

Article continues
The aim is to bring about a dramatic increase in the number of deaths of seals, which are blamed by fishermen for devastating drops in the North Sea marine stocks. But the effect has been to outrage conservation groups.

'Killing a baby seal is about the easiest thing you can do if you're inclined to be sadistic; you certainly can't say there's any sport in it - the animal is totally defenceless,' said Paul Watson, founder and president of the radical Sea Shepherd group.

The expansion of Norway's seal cull comes into force in January, following intense lobbying by fishermen, who say the country's large seal population is not only devastating cod and other fish stocks but is infecting other marine life with parasites.

Companies are already offering holidays to both experienced hunters and beginners to take advantage of this relaxation of rules. NorSafari is advertising on the internet for trips that start at 1,400 kroner - about £110 - for a day's hunting and one seal. This rises to 8,200 kroner, or £650, for four days and the guarantee of two seals.

The company's website shows photos of hunters posing with their kill and offers trips that not only include accommodation and food but help with cutting up and preserving seal carcasses. Training is available for beginners, it adds.

Some packages offer a refund to disappointed hunters who don't kill the advertised catch. Extra seals shot will cost another 500 kroner, while another company, Polar Events, advertises: 'We will make sure that your hunt is one not soon forgotten.'

Professional seal hunters have traditionally used clubs to kill seals, but Polar Events' boss, Kjetil Kristoffersen, said tourists would be given rifles to hunt their prey.

'Seals have been hunted in Norway for many years and it's part of the culture,' said Kristoffersen. 'We want people who are interested in hunting, not people who just come to shoot the animal... the tradition up here in Norway [is] we hunt the seal to eat it; it's food.'

Animal rights activists and conservation groups fear that helpless baby seals will become the prime, easy targets of tourists. They also warn that seals are in danger of being over-hunted.

Seal hunting has been a tradition in Norway for thousands of years, but has dwindled recently with only about half the annual 1,200 quota being killed each year. Despite this, under pressure from fishermen the quota was raised to more than 2,000 a couple of years ago.

The decision to include tourists in a practice which, until now has been confined to local experts, is designed to help meet that quota.

Announcing the plan, Norway's Fisheries Minister, Svein Ludvigsen, said the move would 'restore the balance' between fish and seals along Norway's coast and claimed that the hunting of seals was no different from hunting moose. Others liken the practice to hunting foxes, big game or even fish and birds. 'This could be a big hit,' added the minister, whose father was a trawler captain.

This optimism is not shared by many others outside Norway, however, and last week the government appeared to be backing down from its enthusiastic endorsement of seal-hunting holidays on its shores. Ministers worry that the move, even if popular with hunters, will damage the country's image for the majority of tourists.

'This is certainly not an image we are keen to be portrayed with,' said Eirik Bergesen, an information adviser for the Norwegian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, although he stressed that 'for ordinary hunting you can come to Norway and hunt, so what we're doing is actually bringing the rules for seal hunting in accordance with those other hunting laws and guidelines'.

The idea of the holidays was also attacked by the International Fund for Animal Welfare. 'Tourists should be encouraged to enjoy and protect wild animals in their natural habitat rather than kill them,' said spokeswoman Gill Sanders.

Some campaigners have disputed the fishermen's claims that there is a link between seals and the decline in fish stocks. 'That's never been scientifically proven,' added Maren Esmark, marine conservation officer for the Norwegian branch of wildlife charity WWF.

Some argue that over-fishing is the cause of devastated fish stocks. Seals, they point out, have happily coexisted with other marine life for most of their history.

'Our position is more seals, more fish,' said Watson. 'The biggest predator of fish like cod is other fish - and seals keep fish like that in check.'

So far, it is unclear how popular the hunts will prove with visitors, however. Polar Events has had no overseas bookings yet. But the website for NorSafari says 'many of the people we have spoken to would like to come to Norway to go seal hunting. Already there is sufficient interest for us to invite hunters to an exciting hunt.' And the Norwegian Hunting and Fishing Association told Jeger (Hunter) magazine there was expected to be interest abroad, especially from Germany.

Other tasteless trips

Iraq: thrill-seeking travellers visit the war zones

US: trophy-hunters shoot old zoo animals such as lions and elephants, sometimes when they are chained up

Africa: safari hunters compete to shoot the most big game - often including endangered species

Britain: tour company offers the chance to sleep rough like a homeless person

Norway: trippers spend a day whale-watching ... then tuck into whale steak for supper

Faroe Islands: visitors go out in boats to watch local whale hunters

PISSIS BILEET TÄNÄÄN!Lauantai 08.12.2007 23:41

Ulkonäkö pojat

pro pissalasse dokaa tuplasti kapasiteetinsa yli, bommaa koulusta syyhkityillä kalvotusseilla ja tuntee kuumimmat kissat. miespuoliset pissiksiksiä ei voisi metroseksuaaleiksi kutsua, mutta tyttöjen lailla myös he panostavat pissismin kanssa harmoniseen olemukseen: vaatelook on tyylikkään rento ja casual, funktionaalinen sekä muista edukseen erottumaton. .

1. päähine
lippis on kova sana kaikkina vuodenaikoina: mieluummin tumma ja yksinkertaisella kuvalla (esmes NY-logolla) varustettu. talvella paalupaikasta taistelee perusvärinen/kuosinen snoukkapipo. ja koska tunneilla ei -..ttu- pipoa/lippistä voi niiden horomaikkojen takia pitää, hätätapauksissa päälaen peittää paidan huppu.

2. asusteet
hopeaiset keskipaksut ketjut ranteisiin ja kaulaan, hikinauhat, urponnäköiset policelasit kännissä, karhu(ym.)siksin pahvista tehdyt kännihatut, kamerakännykät, mp3soittimet, käpit, rassit ja röökit.

3. torso
pro lassen vaatekaapista pitäisi löytyä mahdollisimman monta perusväristä ja isolla hupulla varustettua hupparia, skedeaiheisia t-paitoja, ski-eksposta syyhkitty snoukkatakki sekä muutamat vitunkalliit / vitunfeimit tummat farkut. lisäksi mielellään yksi tumma dokaustakki ja syvillä taskuilla varustetut dokaus-housut (vai mihin muualle sä sen kossupullon ajattelit tunkea?). vaatteissa tärkeintä on funktionaalisuus - syvät ja tilavat taskut, pitkät syyhkyhihat ja isot peittävät huput.

4. alusvaatteet
söpöt satiiniset tai eläimellisellä tekstillä (esim. jätkä on eläin!) varustetut ihqt kalsarit, joita voisi sitten kännissä esitellä tytöille.

5. kengät
hyvin hintavat skedekengät.

6 truths of lifeLauantai 24.11.2007 19:20

1) You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.

2) All idiots, after reading thr first truth, try it.

3) The first truth is a lie.

4) You're smiling now cause you are a idiot.

5) You will soon forward this to another idiot.

6) Theres still a stupid smile on your face.
Why ARE women's figures getting so much fuller?

With their dark hair, strong noses and refined chins, it is immediately apparent that women of the Clark family are related. Each is a feature that has been passed through the generations, and will no doubt appear in their children and children's children for years to come.

But there is one part of their bodies that does not appear to have been handed down the family line: their breasts.

The matriarch of the family, 69-year-old Yvonne Clark is a 36B, while her daughter Angela Stanton, 51, grew into a C-cup. And the pattern of increasing breast size continues into the next generation: Angela's daughter Tracey's breasts are a 32G.

"I got my first bra when I was 11 - I was a 32A and one of the first girls at school to need a bra," says Tracey, who lives in Buckinghamshire with her mother.

"After that, I developed at an unbelievable rate. At 15, I wore a 32E. It seemed unusual considering my mother and grandmother had never been that big, and most of my school friends were still wearing B-cups. I'm now a 32G and have been this size since I was 20.

"I love having big breasts. When I get dressed up to go out in the evenings, I make the most of it. It makes for a great neckline and my friends associate me with my big chest. I wouldn't want to be known any other way."

Some might call Tracey lucky, but, in fact, she is part of a quantifiable scientific reality: British women's breasts are getting bigger with each generation.

The average bra size in the UK is now 36C, whereas just a decade ago it was 34B.

This week, it was announced that in response to demand, Marks & Spencer's is to stock J-cup bras for the first time. Previously, its lingerie department went up to G, but it will now offer GG, H, HH and J.

Earlier this year, Bravissimo, a bra company that specialises in larger sizes, introduced three different K-cup bras - in response to customer demand. At this rate, we'll all reach the next millennium with figures like Jordan's, except our breasts will be natural, not silicone.

"Since the first Bravissimo shop opened in 1999, we have seen a steady flow of women throughout the UK who need a K-cup bra," says Jacqui Geraghty, of Bravissimo. "There is nothing unusual in this bra size any more."

Looking at her family line, 67-year-old grandmother Barbara Haywood, a ballroom dancing instructor, is a little taken aback by the increasing size of breasts through each generation. Her 22-year-old granddaughter Miranda's 30G breasts swamp her own 36B bosom.

"In my day it was only old, stout ladies who had big bosoms - the sort who might lean over the garden fence and talk to the neighbours," says Barbara, who lives in Nottingham. "But today it's young women, such as my granddaughter Miranda, who seem to wear the biggest bra sizes.

"My friends and I still had the underdeveloped bodies of children when we were 18. I wore ankle socks and plimsolls until I left school at 15, and wore my first bra some time after that.

"Diet and lifestyle are so different these days. When I was growing up we ate a basic diet of meat, game and vegetables. Chocolates, sweets and puddings were a treat and we'd spend our time riding our bikes and playing outdoor games - not sitting in front of computers. I'm not surprised the young generation are bigger all over - I probably would have been if I'd consumed all that they do."

Contrast Barbara's experience with that of her daughter Denise, 42, who is a 34FF and her granddaughter Miranda, a bra-fitting consultant, who is a 30G and wore her first bra - a B-cup - at the age of 11.

"I really notice the difference when I look back at old photos of generations of our family,' says Miranda.

"The women of my gran and great-gran's generation had very slender figures with small busts and minuscule waists. That couldn't be further removed from the figure I've landed up with.

"I love my big breasts now, but I hated them when I was at school. I dreaded sports lessons because my breasts would bounce around during netball and rounders and all the boys stared at them.

"Now, although my chest is often the first thing men notice about me, they soon realise I have a lot more to offer. I used to think about having a breast reduction because I felt selfconscious. Now, having big breasts makes me feel womanly."

So why do women today have bigger breasts?

Some experts say the boom in bust size may be explained by the popularity of cosmetic implants: 10,000 breast implants are carried out every year.

Significantly more women have breast enhancements than they do reductions: 2004 figures from a BUPA Hospital in Edinburgh show that of the 21-30 age group who had cosmetic surgery, 60 per cent opted for breast augmentation and only seven per cent wanted a breast reduction.

Other experts highlight the effect of hormones - breast tissue is extremely sensitive to these, with some women finding they need a bigger bra in the week leading up to a period. This is a major reason why the contraceptive pill - which also leads to fluid retention in the breast - has been linked to the increase in breast size.

"There is a tendency for the pill to stimulate breast growth," says Professor Pierre-Marc Cilles Bouloux, a consultant endocrinologist and physician at The London Clinic. "However, modern versions of the pill contain far less oestrogen than their older counterparts, so it is not fair to attribute this shift in its entirety to the pill."

The residual oestrogen that gets into the water supply from people on the pill is also thought by some to be a factor.

Other speculative theories include the suggestion that levels of artificial hormones in the foodchain could be affecting breast sizes, though there is no research to back this up. Foods from baked beans to almonds have also been touted as factors in increasing breast size, but this is speculative.

In fact, it seems that the most significant and likely explanation for our growing bust size is the simplest - bigger breasts is a result of weight gain all round. Since the 1950s, the average female waist has risen from 27.5in to 34in. So, is it any wonder that breasts are getting bigger too?

* In support of the bigger woman, Marks & Spencer's J-cup revolution

"It's well known that as a population, we've all been getting bigger," says Dr Joanna Scurr, a principal lecturer in biomechanics at the University of Portsmouth. "The larger we become overall, then the larger women's breasts will become. There is not any evolutionary reason breasts are getting bigger: it's simply a consequence of us all becoming generally bigger.

"Breasts are increasing because women today have a higher proportion of fat in their breasts than they used to. The structure of the breast is divided into the functional glandular element - comprising the milk ducts and support tissues - and fat.

"The functional part of the breast changes size at certain points during a woman's life. It will get bigger when she's pregnant and breast-feeding - this is why women's breasts generally get bigger at this time, and smaller when they're going through the menopause. This is because the body no longer needs the breast for milk.

"But otherwise this functional part of the breast doesn't change. So the increased breast size is due to the increase in fat that women carry."

The Mail's nutritionist Jane Clarke agrees that weight gain in general is a major factor in the increase in women's bust size.

"We're eating more - and of the wrong sorts of food such as crisps and chocolate," says Jane. "All those calories end up on the hips, and breasts. Women are also drinking far too much alcohol, which is not only unhealthy but highly calorific."

Like Miranda, Jane-Louise Atherton, a 22-year-old fitness instructor, is also significantly better endowed than her mother and grandmother. "My breasts suddenly appeared out of nowhere as A-cups when I was 13 and didn't stop growing until they hit a FF at 18," says Jane-Louise, who lives with her parents in Macclesfield and works as a part-time model.

"I actually used to be called pancake at school before I wore a bra. I'm only a size eight, so I can't blame my large breasts on being overweight.

"But big breasts aren't all they are cracked up to be. It's true that men zoom in on them, but I can't wear fashionable backless tops or boob tubes because they don't offer any support.

"When you've got large breasts it's incredibly expensive to buy wellfitting bras because they cost at least £30 - and that's without the matching knickers. I look at the older generations in my family and I'm envious of their figures.

"My grandmother has an amazing figure for an 80-year-old. She's only a size ten and has tiny feet and slim ankles. She wears elegant heels and co-ordinates jewellery to wear with her clothes. Mum looks great, too, and has a very slim waist which accentuates her curves."

Certainly, Jane-Louise's grandmother Betty Cox, 80, does not feel she has missed out by having a smaller, 34B breast.

"I was a skinny little thing when I was young and didn't need a bra until I was 14,' says Betty, a retired tap dancer who lives in Macclesfield. "I'm happy with my body and especially my breasts. They are a good size and in proportion to the rest of me. I love the fact that dancing has given me a lean figure, even in old age, as well as graceful posture.

"It's strange how bust sizes are getting bigger, although it's difficult to tell which breasts are natural and which are false. Women are taller, curvier and even their feet are bigger. I only take a size three-and-a-half shoe, whereas my granddaughter Jane-Louise is a five."

Jane-Louise's mother Linda, a 34DD, also envies Betty's silhouette. "I would love to have a figure like my mum's," says Linda, a sales assistant, who lives with her husband Keith, 56, and their other daughter Lauren, 22. 'I've always been a C or a D, but being smaller would make it easier to buy more fitted clothes.

"I admit I was a bit surprised when I took my girls to Marks & Spencer's to have bras fitted and they ended up being more buxom than either my mother or I. But that is just the way things seem to be going.

"I think it must be down to all this processed food and sugary sweets that young people eat today. I have lots of friends who look at their daughter's breasts and wonder where they have come from."

It is a sentiment with which Yvonne Clark, 69, agrees. She admits to being entirely flummoxed as to the origin of her granddaughter Tracey's G-cup breasts.

"The funny thing is, I've been a 36B all my life," says Yvonne, who lives in Buckingham with her husband, William. "Young girls wore vests, not bras, when we were growing up and I didn't buy a bra until I was 15.

"But in my day, we didn't look at every single girl's weight, or bust size. Being healthy was the main thing and it still is. That said, I have definitely noticed that young girls today are lucky enough to have the sort of ample bosom that my generation could only have dreamed of."


Why are breasts getting bigger? Easy - because British women are getting fatter.

- Alan Wilson, Wimbledon UK

I think it has to do with too much sex. People are having much more sex today than in the past. And they start having it so early.

- Innocent, Maastricht, Netherlands

I don't know. I don't have any girls, but my grandparents had HUGE bosoms. My mother was small - a 34B, her sister was F, and I was 34A!

- Joy, Wembley, UK

Naisille (K16, kait?)Sunnuntai 18.11.2007 14:38


Naisen itsetyydytyksestä ei juurikaan puhuta. Aina kun siitä aiheesta on kysymys, tulee ensimmäiseksi mieleen mies kalu kädessään. Kuitenkin väittäisin, että useimmat naiset tyydyttävät itseään. Eivät kuitenkaan ehkä yhtä usein kuin miehet, jotka harrastavat sitä lähes päivittäin, tai monet useamman kerran päivässä. Haluaisinkin nyt puhua keskiverrosta, sillä toiset harrastavat sitä enemmän, toiset vähemmän. Myös ikä sekä kuukautiskierto vaikuttavat asiaan.

Joskus olen ihmetellyt sitä, kuinka miehet sanovat ettei vaimon koskaan tee mieli. Tottakai tekee! Miehen ei tarvitse kuin seurata naisen kuukautiskiertoa, niin yksinkertaista se on. Ihan luonnollinen asia on, että nainen on halukkaimillaan hedelmällisyyden aikaan, eli kuukautiskierron keskivaiheilla. Sen luonto on hoitanut. Kuitenkin mieliteot heräilevät 2-3 päivää kuukautisten päättymisen jälkeen. Tämä tila kestää ja voimistuu noin kahden viikon ajan. Tämän jälkeen se on hiipumaan päin, mutta jos naisen pitää tyytyväisenä, eli hän saa orgasmin rakastellessa, ja mikä tärkeintä - siemennestettä emättimeensä - niin mieliteko on pidempikin. Siemennesteen merkitystä ei oikeastaan tunneta ja tunnusteta. Se saa hyvää aikaiseksi imeytyessään verenkiertoon. Sitä pidetään erittäin tärkeänä esim. raskaus-aikana sekä naisen hyvinvoinnille että sikiölle. Siemennesteen vuoksi myös halukkuus pysyy yllä. Mitä vähemmän nestettä, sitä vähemmän on halukkuutta. Tietysti poikkeuksiakin on. Myös kuukautisten aikana moni nainen haluaa seksiä. Se varmasti johtuu siitä, että raskaaksi tulon pelko on silloin pienimmillään, ja se tuntuu vapauttavalta (tämä siis tapahtuu alitajunnassa).

Siis hyvät miehet, nyt seuraamaan tarkasti naisen eri vaiheita kuukauden aikana, siitä on todellakin apua. Maagiset noin 28 päivää kannattaa merkitä siis kalenteriin.

Mutta naisen itsetyydytyksestä piti kirjoittaa. Sallyann kirjoittikin omakohtaisia kokemuksiaan vastauksena tuolla aiemmin. Taisi olla sen kirjoituksen alla, jossa käsittelin itsesaastuttamista eli itsetyydytyksen historiaa. Itsetyydytyshän alkaa melko nuorena, jo vauva-ikäset lapset koskettelevat alastomana ollessaan sukuelimiään. Tosin tietämättä, että siitä saa myös nautintoa. Pikkulapset ovat myös hyvin kiinnostuneita tyttö/poika eroista. Voin kertoa tähän väliin, että olin kerran noin seitsemän vuotiaana keikistellyt perhesaunassa ja lausunut maagiset sanat, josta vielläkin saan kuulla: ”enkö olekin mehevä”.

Pojat harrastavat joukko-runkkausta, mutta siinä vaiheessa tytöt sooloilevat tai koskettelevat toisiaan. Jo nuorena, kun kiinnostus on herännyt ja koskettelu tuntuu hyvälle tulee kokeiltua mitä lemmenpesään mahtuu. Sormen lisäksi kokeillaan kyniä, hiusharjan vartta, ohutta porkkanaa sun muuta, olen jo unohtanut mitä kaikkea. Kun sitten klitoris löytyy, jää vagina vähemmälle huomiolle. Onko kukaan koskaan kääntänyt pyörän satulaa niin, että se hankaa mukavasti haaraa?

Minä en kuitenkaan ollut itse se, joka sai ensimmäisen orgasmini aikaiseksi. Se oli eräs poika, joka hiippaili yöllä peittoni alle eräässä kurssikeskuksessa. Olin koulun seminaarissa oppimassa alkeita kouluneuvostoa varten. Olin täyttänyt juuri 16 vuotta. No, meillä oli kahden hengen huoneet ja asuin tytön kanssa, joka tuli Kuopiosta. Ovissa ei ollut lukkoja, joten en tiedä kuinka paljon siellä oikeastaan hiippailtiin. Joka tapauksessa tämä poika ilmestyi peittoni alle ja halusi vain antaa suuseksiä minulle. Se oli uskomaton juttu, enkä vieläkään ole unohtanut sitä seminaarimatkaa. Hän kävi kolmena yönnä peräkkäin, ja huonetoverini oli hieman närkästynyt, kun ei saanut nukkua rauhassa. Vaikka yritinkin olla hiljaa. Ensimmäisen yhdynnän koin myös myöhemmin samana kesänä, mutta se ei oikein tehnyt minuun mitään vaikutusta.

Yritin nyt muistella miten itsetyydytys kehittyi, luultavasti se oli kuitenkin aika vähäistä nuorena. Ainakin siihen verrattuna, mitä se on tänä päivänä. Muistelen, että siinä nelikymppisenä ja sen jälkeen se on ollut enemmän sääntö kuin poikkeus. Eli jonain päivinä haluaa jopa useamman kerran, mutta keskimäärin kuitenkin 4-5 kertaa viikossa. Ja tähän ei vaikuta seksin määrä kumppanin kanssa. Sen jälkeen kun kodissamme on ollut bidesuihku, on itsetyydytyskin ollut säännöllistä. Lämmin tai joskus jopa kuuma vesisuihku häpyhuulille ja klitorikselle on varma ja nopea orgasmi. Minun tätyy kyllä myöntää, että iän myötä myös emätin-orgasmi on helpompi saavuttaa. Myös pepun hyväily saa voimakkaamman orgasmin aikaiseksi. Olen myös väline-urheilija eli tykkään seksileluista. Niitä tulee käytettyä itsetyydytykseen, mutta niillä leikitään myös kumppanin kanssa.

Vaikka katselen myös pornoelokuvia, niin itsetyydytyksen aikana fantasiat näyttelevät pääosaa. Tosin nekin ovat muuttuneet vuosien varrella. Lisäksi luen eroottista kirjallisuutta, jos satun sellaista saamaan käsiini. Yöpöydälläni on tällä hetkellä Anais Nin’n teos Pikkulinnut, joka puhuttelee. Se on kauniisti kirjoitettua erotiikkaa ilman väkivaltaa tai pornon hehkuttelua. Mutta kalu on kalu ja pillu on pillu, ja rakastelu ja tyydytys kuvaillaan, eikä peitetä harson alle tai poutapilviin tai vesiputouksen kohinaan.

Itsetyydytys on terveydelle hyväksi, vaikka kuka sanoisi mitä. Harrastakaa hyvät naiset sitä säännöllisesti, vaikka ei kumppanin kanssa mielitekoja olisikaan. Muuten, käskekää kumppaniakin vispaamaan sitä kaluaan - hänkin pysyy terveempänä, kun röörit ovat kunnossa.