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Today was the first exam of numerous upcoming ones. T'was english paper one, went ok, not the best, but passable. My heads in so many places at the mo. and i cant even concentrate nor study, such a shitty clitty. At least I have great friends I can lean on ;) I watched 4 movies yesterday, had fun cryin over some of em, so sad :( watched save the last dance, lost in translation (for like the 4th time), the notebook (so fuckin great! love that movie!), and mona lisa smile (again). Im really startin to like Julia Stiles, shes got character. I wanna watch closer again today (for the 6th time) along with eternal sunshine. i think :P also maybe even interview wit a vampy. Can u tell im tryin to keep my mind off of things? lol. Gotta study for math paper one for tmr, im so fucked :S i need allllll the luck i can get right now. I hope everyones exams go well, they all deserve it! well i gotta go do some movie stuff now, lol. catch ya laterz peeps!

I dont knw how things got the way they did, but all i knw is that its serious shit from hell. Things were so perfect in the begining, so unbelievably good. I dont even knw wht to do anymore and somehow i feel like its all my fault although everyone keeps telling me its not and that there was nothing i could do. I just never thought it would ever come to this and i so resent it. I wish it would just blow over. I dont wanna move on because in my mind i found someone that i finally trusted and felt like i could be comfortable with. I cried so much over this already that i cant even cry any more tears out. Its horrible. I wish, that even with the smallest of possibilities that i could atleast become friends in the long run if nothing else because i really do like the person alot. I wish ppl would see that and that i never meant to hurt anyone in the process and if i did then im sorry from the bottom of my heart. I just so want him to figure things out and see that in the end its not such a horrible thing and if this is how things will end ill come to miss him alot alot alot. I never meant for things to turn out the way they did. Forgive me everyone for everything, at least thats all i can ever pray for. I dont knw wht else i can do or say, im just so at a loss. If things are truly over then i deffinetly dont want it to be over like this. Things were never supposed to go this way and i truly want the best for everyone.
p.s. feeling better now though, after a few talks :) and in the true words of various ppl "Fuck It, You're Still Great!"

Well, my short shorts were a hit, lol. I think, as a side note, that men are fuckin gross, i swear, the things they do when theyre drunk and horny are so low, oh well, who am i to judge? whtever, i still had a blast wit my friends, as usual :D goin out again tmr, went out tuesday, wednesday, friday and now gonna go out saturday, gosh i dont have money, but whtever. I'm so glad I still stick to my morals and beliefes, at least im a proper person. I cant stand ppl that dont, so disgusting (u all knw wht im talkin bout!). Anywho, ciao till later! *bisous*

well, my throat is fuckin killing me. its been like this on and off for a week now. i dont knw if i should go to the gym tmr or not :S i was singin the sanassa song today, maybe that contributed to my soar throat. its so fucked up though, i swear. very cold tomatoe, not hot potatoe, damn. I so cant wait for saturday, dtm, eekk! schools almost over, im semi-failing now :S but lets hope exams go well, theyre next week. But overall im loving life. Besides the minor set backs here and there. another big one will be comin this week, but it'l all b cool :D gotta go sleepy sleep now. tis late late.

well i got my hot new bag on wednesday, i joined the gym finally and im oficially broke. Had a BLAST on friday, nv talked to so many ppl, was great fun it was! and now its like 3 am, spanish oral tmr :S had my interactive on friday, got 10 10 9, so thats pretty good. but as i said, its late. have shit loads of stuff to do this week, so gotta get my sleep. felt kinda weird today too, it a really odd semi-depresso mood, and some clueless friends of mine didnt really get the hint, well lets hope theyl get it next time. oh yea, and mona n i should so b the vals, speakers, whtever the fuck u wanna call em. :D lol. ciao babes!

Well great, i oddly lost my bus card. This sucks, more hastle for me then. arg. might go to the movies wit my mom today though and for a few ciders, so thats cool. lol.

I have only one thing to say about mocks... Mocks = death. fuck im so annoyed wit these stupid things. oh well, itl all b over soon. thank god!

well, im officially 18 and back in helsinki! went to london for 5 days, that was fun! met some friends and saw my sister along wit steve. i cant believe im finally legal and ... yea, all that stuff, haha. i just got back so im a tad tired, still have to unpack and have SHIT loads of clothes to wash. now i just wish i had someone to cuddle up wit, i love cuddling <3 but yea, have to go unpack now, its late and i had a 9 hour flight, so i just kinda wanna get this stuff over and done wit. School tmr and mocks start this tuesday, eekk! wish us all good luck! :D

Julies soiree yesterday, that was fun! i made out wit her again... lol!!! met some random south african dude on thursday ;) woke up feeling really tired, obviously... and i left my scarf at julies, damn. Leaving to london in 3 days!!! scary shit! im sorta in a bla mood, ah, not fun! well, im gonna go pester martina and julie for the pics! i bet theyre funny as hell!

Im becoming fixated with blonde icons, well i mean i have brunette icons too, but i just love the blonde ones so much too! oh well, its so late and im lookin up pics of dear ol debbie and i have shit loads to do. ah, so is life... Marilyn i adore you <3