this is how i cook basicallyTiistai 08.01.2008 05:56

I don't do this very often. Maybe once a month if that. But its my favorite way.

First, cook up a batch of spaghetti. Seriously.

Let it cool a bit, but keept it warm. Body temperature should be what you're going for. Once its cooled a tad, stuff as much as you can into any wide-mouth jar you have available. Mason jars work perfect for this.

Go get some plastic wrap and cover the top with it. Make it several layers thick because one thin layer could tear from the mighty pounding you're about to give the jar. Wrap a rubber band around the mouth of the jar, securing the plastic wrap to it.

Oh yes, baby. We're almost there.

Now take a pencil or other similarly-sized object and poke a hole in the plastic. Keep pushing the pencil down until it hits the bottom of your jar. Move the pencil up and down, and swirl it around a bit. You want to make a hole thru the spaghetti about as wide as your finger. DON'T MAKE IT TOO WIDE! YOU WANT YOUR SPAGHETTI TO BE AS TIGHT AS A 12 YEAR OLD!

While you've been doing this, you should've melted some butter. Again, let the butter cool so its not super hot, then pour a bit of it into the hole you made with your pencil. You don't want a lot of it in there, just enough to lube things up.

Then, take your jar and go to your bed. Lay the jar on it side on your bed, and throw a pillow on top of it. You lay ontop of the pillow and insert your cock into the hole in the plastic. Like a virgin 16 year old girl (or boy, I suppose), the jar will resist at first but then slowly give up its soft, warm secret to your thrusting. (Plus the jar won't lie to you and tell you its really 18!) Keep fucking it while enjoying whatever porn you have around.

Whenever I do this, I cum so hard I'm almost frightened. A lot more work than a sock around my cock, but definitely worth it.

The jar stays good for a day or two, if you feel like reusing it. If not, I suppose you have a pasta dinner!


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