IRC-Galleria

Jos olisi fiksu, aloittaisi siivoamisen jo nyt, jotta torstaina olisi oikeasti siistiä. Silti istun tässä. Ja kun se prkeleen imurikin on rikki. Pitäisi pyykkiäkin pestä ja tiskata ja käydä kaupassa jajajajaja. Äh.

Torstaihin on ihan liian pitkä aika! Mutta mullapas onkin pantti, njäh njäh.
Ikävä jo nyt.

Ihana viikonloppu, joka pidentyi vielä yhdellä päivällä! Tai no illalla, mutta kuitenkin. Lisätunnit ei tässä tilanteessa ole lainkaan pahitteeksi.
Vaikkei mitään takeita vielä ole (niinkuin nyt missään koskaan olisi), niin silti olen onnellinen ja nautin joka hetkestä.

Iuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiuiu!

Ei mulla muuta. :)

Oon vieläkin hereillä! Ei järkee. Joko luovutan ja jään kokonaan valveille ja siivoan, tai sitten kokeilen vielä kerran, josko tämä pää rauhottuisi sen verran, että tulisi uni.

Oon laiska ja kokeilen vielä.

Olipas mukava ilta. Kerrassaan erinomainen. Ei tällaista tapahdu mulle. Huh.
Tähdet näyttää kyllä paljon paremmilta poissa kaupungin valoista. Eikä tullut edes kylmä. Iiks.

-Etin paikkaani maailmassa, löysinkin palan taivasta-

Vähän <3

Hassu tunne. Oho. Tää oli oikeesti vahinko.

Listaa alle niiden ihmisen nimet, jotka ovat viimeksi kommentoineet oletuskuvaasi ja haasta sitten heidät tähän samaan, mutta ÄLÄ KATSO KYSYMYKSIÄ ETUKÄTEEN! Lopuksi vastaa kysymyksiin numeroiden perusteella.

1. LilMakaveliSTar
2. Dixu-
3. Elksiivi
4. -MiiQu-
5. Makre80

(Onnea ja menestystä Nyt siis omat vastaukseni. Älä kurki ennen kun oot tehny tän ite!)

Mistä tunnet nelosen?
Oon juottanut sille viinaa. :)

Tiedätkö kakkosen sukunimen?
En.

Koska olet viimeksi tavannut ykkösen?
Eilen töissä.

Onko kolmonen sinua vanhempi vai nuorempi?
Vuoden verran viisaampi.

Missä vitonen asuu?
Samassa kaupungissa.

Kirjoita lyhyt runo nelosesta?
Miikan pää ei Jallua kestä
se tykkää shoteista imelämmistä

:D

Oletko nähnyt ykkösen vanhempia?
En.

Oletko koskaan yöpynyt vitosen luona?
Sattuneesta syystä kyllä.

Onko kakkonen koskaan yöpynyt sinun luonasi?
Ei.

Oletko seurustellut kolmosen kanssa?
En. :D

Miten ykkönen oli pukeutunut, kun ensimmäisen kerran tapasitte?
No ei voi muistaa.

Oletko koskaan itkenyt kakkosen nähden?
En.

Kenet heistä tunnet parhaiten?
Vitosen.

Entäs huonoiten?
Kakkosen.

Onko kakkonen sinulle tärkeä?
No ei, kun en ko. henkilöä oikeastaan tunne lainkaan.

Oletko ollut ikinä 4 luona?
En.

Mitä kolmonen tuo sinulle ekana mieleen?
Mein KPKB(PF)-klupin ja sit Richardin ja überhauskat jutut ja mahtavat piirrokset ja lukuisat, lukuisat hersyvät naurut. <3

We serve you alcohol and clean up after you so you can have a good time, maybe go home with 'that special person over there', or so you can get over a not-so-great week... Now here's how ur supposed to act once you get to the bar because 90% of you all have no idea. And Yes, a tip is mandatory, and no matter where you are $.50 doesn't cut it.


1. Our names are NOT "Hey" or "Yo", nor do we respond to whistles or banging your bottle or glass on the bar! If you ever do get your drink you can be sure we will serve everyone else at the bar before we decide to serve you.

2. Mouth closed, money out! Just because we look at you, doesn't mean we're ready for you! Just because we haven't looked at you doesn't mean that we don't know you are there. WE KNOW YOU ARE THERE!

3. If we are making drinks, do NOT say, "When you get a chance." When we get a chance, you will know!

4. Never....ever...."EVER".... touch the bartender!

5. DO NOT tell us you bartend too! We'll know if you do or don't by the way you conduct yourself!

6. There is NO SUCH DRINK called 'Kettle One and Vodka'!!!

7. If you order a "Diet Rum and Coke" instead of "rum and Diet Coke", we will look at you like the drunk asshole idiot that you are!

8. DO NOT start the order off with, "GIVE ME A STRONG DRINK!" You are guaranteed to have the WEAKEST DRINK EVER!!

9. DO NOT say "I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU" if you don't know what that means! $1.00 tip is NOT taking care of us! I REPEAT!!!! LEAVING ONE DOLLAR ($1.00) IS "NOT" TAKING CARE OF US!!!!!!!!!

***10. We don't care who you are or who you know - the guy before you hit on us too... and the guy before him and the guy before him... We're bartenders, --WE'RE NOT GOING HOME WITH YOU!!!!!

11. Waving your money at us just annoys us - We know you're there and we'll get to you when we get to you!!!

12. NO TIPPIE, NO DRINKIE! (Go back and read rule #9 again)

13. Do not COMPLAIN ABOUT PRICES!! Jesus.......if you want to act like a big shot and order an expensive drink.....don't ruin it by complaining about the price. Order something cheaper next time.

14. Yes, there IS alcohol in it! If you can't taste it, you've drank too much and I should cut you off! IF you want me to put another shot in it, you will pay for it.

15. NO SLEEPING ON THE BAR! if we wanted to see you sleep we would go home w/ you. (Read rule ten again)

16. Don't ask me to name EVERY beer in stock. You know what the hell you drink so just order it and stop wasting my time. I'll tell you if I don't have it.

17. If you are ordering food, don't ask me to read the menu to you. I am not your personal assistant. If you can't order your own food than don't leave the house.

18. If you do tip us well and we buy you a drink, DO NOT announce to the WHOLE bar that the Bartender "hooked you up"Â…You will never get another free drink again!!!!

19. Please do not tell us your personal "stories" b/c we don't care and quite frankly....we just don't have the time. Just give us your order and tip us in dollars...not with paper roses or old valentines day candy.

20. Don't come to my bar and act like a big dog just because you are wearing a suit. Chances are I make more than you do and have more fun doing it so take a step back, relax and get over yourself.

21. If by some chance you've mustered up the courage to pass your phone number over the bar without my asking, flattered as I may be....I still may not call you so don't get all pissy and give me dirty looks on future visits to my bar.

22. DO NOT assume that we are allowed to give a few drinks away because not all bars are the same. And certainly DO NOT ask me for a free drink because you tipped me well. As much as I appreciate your generosity........I can assure you that your tip will not be enough to pay my bills for the month.

23. DO NOT ask me the price of every drink before you order. The only question you're allowed is "Do you have any specials?" Order what you want to drink. It's early, if you find that choice was to expensive for your taste, you have plenty of time to adjust your next drink choice accordingly. Note: Beer costs less than hard liquor. Domestics cost less than imports. Anything you've learned to drink from rap videos or Hollywood movies is usually priced out the ass so either bring a lot of cash to the bar or stop trying to be a high roller. OH, and IF U DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TIP ALONG WITH PURCHASING THAT HIGHLY PRICED DRINK......U DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOR THE DRINK. PERIOD YO!!!! You know who you are.

24. When ordering a mixed drink, the liquor comes before the mixer. Don't order a cranberry with vodka! It is vodka and cranberry.

25. When you finally get our attention do not turn around and then ask your group of friends what they want. We will walk away and make you wait until you are actually ready to order and that would be nice. We may make you wait longer!

26. Just be respectful and I'm sure you will see a difference in your bartender's response time. I know it's hard for some of you to understand what that means. If you still don't know, go back and read this whole thing over and over until you grasp a firm understanding of the concept. Thank you!!!! Now go have a good time.

27. Do NOT string-order your drinks. Tell me what you want... your FULL order, if I forget, I will ask YOU. If I come to you with your 2 little drinks and you say, " and can I get..." NO, you cant. I am busy, there are other people waiting, and you should've told me the first time I asked you what you wanted. Now you'll have to wait.

28. Do NOT ask me for a free drink on your birthday. Do you go to the grocery store and ask for a free loaf of bread too? Do you go to the gas station and ask for free gas? If I want to buy you a drink, I will if I feel like it. NOT just because its your birthday...

29. When you say, "I tip at the end of the night." or " I'll take care of you later." we already know you're going to be a cheap-ass and not tip at all. Nice try.

30. (Referring to #1) Even if you DO know my name, yelling it across the bar will not get me to serve you any quicker. As a matter of fact, it will probably annoy the piss out of me and will once again result in you waiting longer.

31. If you want the other bartender to serve you, don't ask me to get them for you. If you're standing in front of me, that is most likely my station and no, I wont go get them for you. Walk your happy ass down to the other end of the bar and get them yourself. I might throw in that you're probably not as special as you think and now you'll probably wait longer, because I could have served you.

32. (Refering #4) Do NOT lean as far as you can over the bar, in case I didn't see you. I see you. Really, I do.

33. If you use a credit/debit card, do NOT make me continuously run your card through for just one round. Open a tab. When you close it, be sure you are not going to want anything else. I am not going to run your credit card all night long each time you just want "one more round." Also, cash tips are always better! Thanks.

34. If you spill your drink because you're drunk, then NO, I'm not giving you another one. You don't need another one if you cant hold on to the one I just made you. Also, if you tell me, "someone threw my drink away." well too bad! You shouldn't have left it unattended anyways!

35. If you want to buy a drink for "that girl over there" then I hope you know what she's drinking. I don't. And no, I wont go find out, or leave the bar to serve it to her.

36. Last call is LAST CALL! FINISH YOUR DRINK AND GET THE FUCK OUT! No, you cant stay after everyone else has left. You're not the only friend I have, nor are the first person to ask. Just leave before you get yelled at, or I do!

37. If I am nice enough to call a taxi for you, you better be outside when it gets there. Enough said.

38: You may observe that I occasionally make drinks for some people more quickly than I do for you - this may be because they are friends, family, friends or family of my co-workers or the owner, fantastic tippers, or that they have followed the rules more accurately than you have. It is also possible that I am feeling salty, or that their bottle of Bud Light is quicker to grab than your Bloody Mary (with a twist). Don't take this personal . . . actually, go ahead and take it personally, I don't mind.

39: I am allowed to drink at my job (in fact, it is almost expected), but I must keep my inebriation to a tolerable and professional level - enough booze to have fun, but not enough to impair my abilities to walk, talk, count, work or make simple judgments. I have trained myself well at this, through years of trail and error. As such, I have literally NO respect for someone who CANNOT do this, someone who plays the 'oh, shit, I'm drunk' victim-card. Learn your own limits, asshole, because if you are fucked up enough to be even the slightest bit annoying to me, then I will hate you forever and I will treat you like the dog-scum you are. You ordered the drinks, you drank the drinks, you knew their was booze in there, and your low-ass tolerance is shameful to both of us.

Drinking is fun, and bars are fun, but getting shitty and being shitty are unbecoming of an adult.

40. When ordering a large amount of shots for you and your friends, ordering the same shot - for example 7 SoCo limes - is a helluva lot faster than ordering 1 SoCo lime, 1 Jaeger bomb, 1 red-headed slut, 1 kamikaze... etc. You'll get your drinks a LOT faster and your bartender will be a LOT LESS annoyed and might even cut you a deal. Happy bartenders = happy bars!

41. If you order the rail/well special and don't say what you want, i will give you Tequila and Coke and you will like it! Cause you don't know what is going on! Learn how to order a drink dumbass

42. If you are being an ass at last call, and you accidentally give me an extra twenty when closing your tab, you better believe that I am going to keep it!

43. When ordering a drink, please talk to me, and not my boobs. Yes, girls wear shirts to show them off and get better tips, but they can't hear you when you order a drink, and I sure as hell am gonna think you're kind of a creepo for not looking me in the eye.

44. We don't care if you know the owner. You're still not getting a free drink unless he personally orders it for you.

45. When you're having fun with many friends and that you ask for the drinks bill please be ready to pay quickly and never ever tell me : I'll pay my 2 beers, my friend there pay 2 sex on the beach, he's paying one round of shot's and a vodka cranberry, he's...and so on...

We don't have time to waste for shits like that (especially when we're busy), so please do it like that : someone pay the whole bill and you'll arrange yourself for who have to pay for what outside of the bar!!

46. Don't try to impress girls by ordering a "single malt on the rock's" when after that you ask me why there are ice cubes in your glass!!

You're not in a movie, if you don't know what something like "on the rock's" means you'd better to order something like a beer, the perfect drink for the perfect farmer you are..

47. If you order a rum and coke while your friend orders an Alabama Slammer or a long island ice tea, please do not freak out at the fact that his/her glass is larger than yours because it will just make you look foolish (to put it nicely)...as someone said before, if you ever have a doubt, please just order a beer.

48. We don't care who you are, what you do, or who you know, hollar, whistle, wave your hands, or snap your fingers at us to get our attention while we're taking an order or making a drink puts you at the ass end of the line...for the rest of the night. We have eyes, we can see your drink is empty and we'll get you one when we get you one...shut the hell up and be patient.

49. If I tell you that you don't have a tab open it means: a) you opened it with a server, b) you opened it at a different bar in the building or c) you closed it 10 minutes ago and are too hammered to remember. Don't go to every bartender asking for your card...I'm sober or more sober than you, and got it right the first time.

50. And don't waste my time telling me how hot you think the female bartenders are. I work with them, so I already know this. And the answer is always "yes, she has a boyfriend" because it saves you the embarrassment of being rejected and her the time listening to you. Chances are she's going to see you get shit faced and make out with a lagoon creature anyway, so just save your breath for the troll you're taking home tonight.

51. Do not be shocked or surprised at all if I make you a big round of drinks, especially when I am busy, and you tip like shit, that I am not shy in telling you in front of everyone, to fuck off and never come to me again. That stupid deer in the headlights look like you have no idea what I am talking about makes you look like a cheap moron. You want to avoid this, tip well.

52. And for the love of God, do not waste my time by simply coming up and ordering a glass of water. Unless I have been giving you drinks all night, you tipped well, and you need the water, I will skip over you again and again until all the paying customers get what they want. It's tedious and annoying and chances are your cheap ass isn't going to tip for it. You want faster service, drop a tip in my jar when you ask for the glass of water or go to the water fountain that we have. That's what it is there for.

53. For the sake of the bartender's sanity, please DO NOT bang or pound on our bar. We are not your personal assistants, and do not answer to the snap of your finger, or to a bell. Doing so will result in the bartender telling you off, and not serving you, or possibly if you have pissed us off enough, we'll get you kicked out, or sent to another bar. This REALLY fucking pisses off bartenders.

54. Do not touch things on MY bar that is not yours. Keep your dirty hands out of my fruit, off of my straws, and away from my napkins. Chances are you're covered in some else's vomit or spit... please keep those germs to yourself.

55. DO NOT THROW THINGS. If your buddy is on the other side of the bar don't throw your ice at him to get his attention. Walk your stupid ass over there and talk to him. And if you hit me with something in your drunken attempts to get their attention you will leave the bar soaking wet, I don't care if you're dressed nice or if its 10 degrees outside. You shouldn't act like such a jack ass!

56. if you rented out the bar and the beer and drinks have been prepaid for, don't just order your drinks and NOT tip. Its not like i wanted to come in 2 hours before my shift would normally start so i can poor drinks for nothing, bc i will get on the loud speaker and call every single one of your cheap ass's out!!

57. Don't order shots for you and your friends then add in there to make one for myself, then when the total comes you pissed because its so expensive. Just because you think your being "smooth" by telling me to take one also, doesn't mean you aren't going to be paying for that one also.

58:.Don't think that because you are of the opposite sex that you can sweet-talk, intimidate, or seduce an extra drink out of me. If I were that easy to persuade, I sure as hell wouldn't be working here. The only things that will get you preferential treatment are politeness (again, tastelessly hitting on a bartender is not polite) and generous tipping - I don't care how hot you think you are.

59. When ordering a round of shots, don't be a douche bag and have me make 6 and then decide you need three more after I'm done making them. Also when ordering shots: layered shots are cool looking yes. However, don't be a dick and order 15 of them when the bar is packed.

60. the bar is not SELF-SERVICE, hence, the reason for tipping. That means, DO NOT help yourself to anything across the bar including the garnish tray, the straws and napkins, or glasses under the bar!

61. Do not PRETEND or FAKE tipping us! We WILL know if you tip whether we're looking at you or turned away! Doing the motions of the tip and then walking away just makes you look remedial, and you will suffer for it if you dare come back to our station again!

62. Yes, the club is loud on the dance floor, I think its time to adjust your hearing buddy because I've lost the ability to now hear what you want me to get you. DON'T grab me by the neck pull me towards you and scream into my ear. I'm not your mate. Oh and it's called enunciation, if you're drunk enough to ask for a drink, at least make an effort!

63. If I've cut you off, it's cause either you're drunk staggering and about to make a real ass out of yourself..you've tripped over nothing and spilled your drink on someone...or maybe...it's just time for you to leave cause everyone (including me) wants you to go!
Take it personal, if you want...but, it IS my call!

64.When i say its time to leave... its time to leave! I stopped getting paid 10 minutes ago and believe it or not I'm not drunk, I'm not having "the best night ever dude!" and i want to go home and wash that bar smell off my body! Put down the drink, it's obvious you're not going to finish it, and stumble your way out the door to the nearest cab... I just want you the hell out!

65. If you think you have been short changed it could be for one of the following reasons: 1) your too drunk to count 2) when the bartender told you how much the round cost you decided it was a better idea to turn around to your mate and finish your conversation 3) you've been a complete arsehole, and the bartender has decided that it's his/her right to take knobhead tax!
(Knobhead tax is quite frequent in bars that attract arseholes, which in your case is what you are, so if you want to pay the proper price for your selected beverages follow the rules, we'll be good on your pocket. A smile never hurts either, we are only doing our job.)

66. "leaning across the bar to flick off draft beer taps. We're on our way already and haven't forgotten about it! Its our beer I'm pouring until you've handed over that sweaty note you've been waving around for the last 5 minutes..."

67. If I've cut you off, it's cause either you're drunk staggering and about to make a real ass out of yourself..you've tripped over nothing and spilled your drink on someone...or maybe...it's just time for you to leave cause everyone (including me) wants you to go!
Take it personal, if you want...but, it IS my call!

68. If I make your drinks and then you decide you want a pint of Guinness, you are simply a DUMB ASS!!

69. This is my job, I know what I'm doing. If I'm putting ice into a wine glass or a martini glass it's to chill it for you, I am not a moron and 'totally misunderstood' what you mean by a large glass of Chardonnay, thinking you wanted a soda water instead. Questioning me like this is just going to get you to the end of the line!

70. It´s not cool to order a 100$-bottle of wine, chuck down half of it and then complain that "the wine is off", send it back and act like an insulted ass and stalk off when five employees come to the verdict that it´s JUST FINE- we´re all pros, we drink A LOT and KNOW our alcohol. Besides, wine is fermented grape juice- technically, it IS off...

71. Contrary to how loud you think the music is, bartenders can hear almost anything and everything inappropriate you say...keep talking and you're bound to be ignored!

72. If i hear you tell some one that you are a good tipper or that you always take care of the bar staff, don't be surprised if I laugh. I know who are a good tippers and they never bring it up.

73. It is not because I am a barmaid and that I work in a place where people are there to meet people that I want to meet you! So don't think we go to every date customers invited us on, and don't feel like you re the only one to do it!

74. I am working mate, even if it is behind a bar. So don't tell me i am not fun just because i didn't drink the 5th shot of tequila you bought me!

75. (this one's from London) Don't ask me me to top up your pint. Especially don't say "Top up my pint mate!"
We know it is the law in UK and if you ask we have to. and all the customers are right...
But it is not with that half centimeter more of lager in your glass that you're going to be more drunk. Most of the time you are already.

76. Don't ask for champagne when you just want sparkling wine. We hate it when we've corrected you and you still insist on calling it champagne. If you were cultured enough to know what real fucking champagne is, then you would never have given the honor of calling that cheap shit champagne in the first place.

77. When the line is 8 deep, don't order a green apple martini, or a pink lady or something stupid like that...repeat after me: rum-coke, pils-ner, vodka-diet...and if your bartender is kind enough to make your green apple martini when they're slammed busy, don't take a sip, and say, no you don't make it right...you're NOT getting your money back, I'm NOT making you another one, and you're a douche for ordering it in the first place.

78. Leave your nickels and dimes in your piggy bank.

79. Who orders 1 shot? Get a friend.

80. (This apparently is an issue in Fiji): DO NOT try to hold the bar up trying to look sexy, trying to pick me up, or make eyes at me then proceed to spit on the floor over and over again. This is a respectable bar NOT a urinal. We DO NOT come to your home and spit on your floor so DO NOT spit on ours.Take note, I am not interested in you & you will NOT be served again. Also keep in mind you will be escorted out the door by the burly bouncers twice your scrawny ass spitting size...and we don't care if you are of royal status or not you will be taken out.

81. When the line is 8 deep and you’ve been waiting 5 minutes to be served. When we ask you what you want don’t say…”ahhhh I’m not sure”. You are now NOT going to be served for another five minutes!

82. So you think you gave me a twenty and I gave you a change for a ten? I'm pretty sure you're the drunk one and I'm the sober one so we're going to go with the rule "The Bartender is Always Right".

83. If you r ordering a product which can be served in more than one way, for example a beer which we stock in bottles as well as on the tap, please specify which you would like when u place your order. DO NOT watch us pour 3 Heineken's from the tap then tell us you wanted bottles. If you wanted bottles you should have asked, or @ least stopped us @ the 1st one! Now drink up and tell us your correct order next time.

84. If your friend orders you the wrong drink, that is your problem with your friend. Please DO NOT involve us with something like "My friend ordered me a bourbon & coke but I wanted a scotch & coke." ...then expect a free drink. Just order yourself another drink.

85. If you are ever caught stealing or trying to steal our tips, YOU WILL BE GONE, and not necessarily in a nice way.

86. (I thought this was kind of funny): If you lean over the bar waving $ to get served before it's your turn (and despite how chaotic it looks in that bar, we know. It's our job.), it's ours. I dont care how big or small that $ is, I'm grabbing it. Your side of the bar = your money, our side = it's a tip.

* If you fail to meet any of the above said rules of the bar, don't be surprised when one or several of our good friends in security take you by the arm and tell you to get the fuck out, they like us a lot more than they like you! And idiot, don't put up a fight, because they are bigger than you, and there's more of them than your mates. Nuff said.

Also, if you be a prick to the floor staff, you will also feel the clubs wrath as many bartenders started on the floor, so piss them off, you piss us all off, and the above resolution will apply.

Baal on kotona! <3