IRC-Galleria

Vitsejä :DDDDTiistai 25.09.2007 15:08

Äiti oli lähdössä synnyttämään. Kyseli lähtiessään pieneltä pojaltaan:
"Mitä toivoisit minun sieltä tuovan?"
" Jos perse kestää niin polkuauto olis kiva ."


Tiesittekö, että EU-lainsäädännön mukaan maanviljelijät saavat huoltoasemalta ostetut kondomit verotukseen. Kuittiin pitää kirjoittaa: "Työntövarren suojakumi" !


Se parhaiten nauraa, jolla on kovin lääkitys.



Mitä yhteistä on soijalla ja hieromasauvalla?
- Molempia käytetään oikean lihan korvikkeena.


Miksi kaikki narkkarit menevät lukioon?
-Siellä saa vapaasti valita aineet.


Mikä on koiran logiikkaa?
- Sitä, mitä ei voi syödä eikä naida, sen päälle täytyy kusta


Mistä tietää, että nainen on liian lihava?
- Kun takaa ei yllä, päällä ei pysy eikä alle uskalla mennä.


Mikä on sukupuolisen perversiteetin huippu?
- Virkamies, joka sekaantuu papereihinsa.


MITÄ EROA ON EROOTTISELLA JA PERVERSSILLÄ SEKSILLÄ?
- Jos käytät höyhentä, se on eroottista, jos käytät koko kanaa, se on perverssiä.




Miksi ruotsalaiset blondit eivät käytä minihametta ? Kivekset näkyisivät


Turkulainen seksiopas
1. Sisään
2. Ulos
3. Toistetaan tarvittaessa




Insinööri on mies, joka hallitsee 150 asentoa, mutta ei tunne yhtään naista !




Frederikin elämänviisauksia:
"Kun nainen laittaa silikonit rintoihin, se on sama kuin laittaisi jalopuuratin Ladaan. Kiva hivellä, mutta kyyti ei juurikaan parane.


Jaheim ;) Cat <3Perjantai 21.09.2007 11:41

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kts santtu -.-'Perjantai 14.09.2007 14:59

JOS SAISIT MINUT SINUN HUONEESEEN
LUKITTUNA 24 TUNNIKSI JA SAISIT TEHDÄ KANSSANI IHAN MITÄ VAIN, MITÄ TEKISIT?
JÄTÄ KOMMENTTI JA SITTEN KOPIOI TÄMÄ OMAAN PÄIVÄKIRJAASI
JA KATSO MITÄ MUUT SANOVAT SAATAT YLLÄTTYÄ.
JOS ET VASTAA JA KOPIOI TÄTÄ NIIN OLET VALITTETAVASTI PELKURI..


Haaahahahahah!Tiistai 28.08.2007 13:27

Kävelin kampin läpi thounin kaa... :/ milona tuli vittu miko kävin kattoo sun kuvii ja KÄVIÄLASKURII!! niin sulla oli yksi käviä ja se olin MINÄ vittu et oo mikään feimi! Vittu mä HAJOSIN! TRUE KAMPPIHENGARI!!!! LOLMAOZ WTF OMG! Kelaa käviälaskurii xDDDDDD

OOOOOOON KIPEEEEE!!! Keskiviikko 07.03.2007 19:45

Vittu ku vituttaa :S ei pääse tekee mitään tää on vaan tälläst dataamist tai teeveen töllöttämist.... paljon kommenttei kiitos xD

Minä. feat ode ja jogi<3 FiGhT<33Maanantai 05.03.2007 00:06

Jogi sanoo:Vittu tääl haisee pahalle :s

Randoim sanoo:Vittu te haisette (mulle, odelle ja jogille) :s

Ode tekee:potkasee kylkeen ja kai huitasee päähän :D

Jogi tekee: leijuuu ja antaa paukkuu :D

Mä teen: hyppään kolme kertaa lenttarin sitä päähän :D

Randomin kaveri ottaa odee kii takaa päin ja paiskaa maahan minä ja jogi hakataan sitä toista mulla ja sillä oli Änäri flidis ku se otti mua rinnuksista kii niin mäkin otin.

osumat meihin: ode kai 2-3
jogi 1
mä 0

osumat huutelijaan: Odelta 2 potkuu kylkeen ja pari pommii Jogi antaa 1 pommin ja mä
3 lenttarii ja 2 avokkaa ja vasuril pommi.


ETTÄ TURVALLINEN VIIKONLOPPU kiitos siitä oli kivaaa<333

Vuonna 2004 nuori yhdysvaltalainen mies joutui kotimaansa armeijan uhriksi. Hänet pakotettiin pesemään osastonsa lattia omalla sähköhammasharjallaan, syömään mikrossa lämmitettyä kissanruokaa, juoksemaan jokapäivä harjoituskentän ympäri 79 kertaa jonka päälle hän sai yrittää juoda vain väkiviina-etikkaa. Lisäksi hän joutui tehdä miinakentän puhdistuksia side silmillään sekä sukeltajan räpylät jaloissaan ja lopulta hänet lavastettiin syylliseksi jääden kiinni kannabiksen poltosta. Juuri kun tilanne näytti helpottuvan, hän joutuikin värvätyksi sotaan Irakiin. Siellä hän päätyi ammutuksi, tosin ei vihollisen toimesta. Päivä ennen kuolettavaa (armo)laukausta, hän heräsi täysin alastomana leirin vartiokoiran kopista eikä muistanut edellisestä illasta ja yöstä yhtään mitään. Selässään hänellä oli tussilla kirjoitettu iso teksti missä luki "I did it for transgenders like me" ja vartiokoira löytyi leirin ruokavarastosta, missä se oli päästänyt tarpeitaan osan ruoan päälle ja osan se oli syönyt. Yllään koiralla oli miehen alushousut ja violetti puuhka. Mies lähti paniikissa juoksemaan edelleen täysin alastomana kohti aavikkoa toistaen samalla sanoja "HOLY CREEPING JEEBIES!"

Nyt kun olet nähnyt ja toistanut mielessäsi nuo ylläolevat sanat, tulet tapaamaan ammutun miehen. Ensi yönä, kun olet nukahtanut, mies ilmestyy peittosi alle ja alkaa taukoamatta hymäilemään light jazzin hittejä vuosilta 1978-1986.

Jos lisäät tämän tarinan omaan blogiisi, journaliisi tai päiväkirjaasi, hän jättää sinut rauhaan. Näin palkitaan hyvät tekosi. Jos et lisää, tulet kärsimään vaikeista alapään tulehduksista sekä virtsaongelmista seuraavat 40 vuotta ja sen mukana seksielämäsi huononee moninkertaisesti.

[Ei aihetta]Maanantai 08.01.2007 18:30



"Noniin. Annan sinulle kysymyksiä ja sinä käyt osoitteessa http://lintukoto.net/viihde/oraakkeli/index.php kyselemässä kysymykset oraakkelilta ja kirjoitat oraakkelin vastaukset tänne. HUOM! Saat muotoilla kysymykset haluamaasi kieleen, tyyliin tai murteeseen tai vaihtaa sana järjestystä, mutta kysymyksessä pitää olla sama juoni. Nyt kirjoittamaan. Lopuksi haasta neljä kaveriasi tekemään saman."

1. Mikä minun nimeni on?
simo xD

2. Missä asun?
Stockmannilla, vaikkei tästä julkisesti usein puhutakaan.

3. Mikä olen?
Jonkinsortin eliö


4. Millainen olen?
Muuten, kysymyksistäsi päätellen taidat olla aika teini? Käyt ainaki mun hermoille.


5.Kuka olen?
Se kuka luulet olevasi, vaikka et varmaankaan oikeasti tätä halunnutkaan kuulla


6. Miltä näytän?
Tosi hyvälle

7. Miltä tunnun?
Silakalta
8.Miltä maistun?

Onkohan mulla deja vu vai kysyitkö sä just tätä?

9.Miltä tuoksun?
Raikkaalta dödöltä

10.Missä minun kuuluisi olla?
Kassajonossa, vaikka varmaan halusit kuulla jotain ympäripyöreätä

11.Mikä minun kuuluisi olla?

En usko että yhtikäs mikään
12. Mistä minut löytää?
Saksasta


13.Miten minut tavoittaa?
En ylläpidä mitään osoiterekisteriä.


14.Ikäni?
Teini mikä teini.


15.Sukupuoleni?
En mä tiedä, mutta jos saat selville ni kerro mullekin!


16.kuka on minulle kaikkein tärkein maailmassa?

Eräs, jonka tapasit entisessä elämässäsi.


jooh ;D <3333Keskiviikko 03.01.2007 01:18

~*~ 22 OPETUSTA TEINI TYTÖLLE SEKSISTÄ ~*~

#1: Opettele pistämään kortsu käsilläsi paikoilleen.

#2: Opettele pistämään kortsu suullasi paikoilleen.

#3: Kun otat vehkeen käteen, älä purista sitä kuoliaaksi.

#4: Sitä ei vedetä käyntiin kuten ruohonleikkuria.

#5: Lahnat kuuluvat vesistöihin.

#6: Älä ime jälkiä kaulaan tai muualle vartaloon.

#7: Ei ole pakko vinkua kuin mikäkin, se ei ole kiihoittavaa.

#8: EI sanaa ei ole.

#9: Jos aktin aikana kuuluu hassuja ääniä, älä naura niille ne on
luonnollisia.

#10: Kuukautiset eivät estä sinua ottamasta suihin.

#11: Aktin jälkeen ei kuulu maata sylikkäin vaan pieraista, korkata olut
ja tupakoida.

#12: Aktin jälkeen nussitaan lisää.

#13: Aktin jälkeen ei käydä pölisemään entä jos ehkäisy pettää.

#14: Aktia ennen ei käydä pölisemään entä jos ehkäisy pettää.

#15: Jos se ehkäisy kuitenkin pettää niin sitten katumuspilleri/abortti.

#16: Ei käydä arvostelemaan miehiä jotka opettaa tavoille vaan kuunnellaan
nöyränä.

#17: Sinun ei pidä vaatia orgasmia.

#18: Älä kerro meille käynnistäsi gynekologilla.

#19: Jos mies tulee humalassa kotiin, sitä pitää paijata eikä huutaa
seuraavaa vuorokautta. Paijaaminen johtaa suihinottoon.

#20: Aina niellään, sylkeminen on rumaa.

#21: Aktin jälkeen imeskellään tatti putipuhtaaksi.

#22: Katellaan ens perjantaina uudestaa.