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Nnannu

Nnannu

Life's a bitch, so if it's easy, you're doing it wrong~

Yesterday I died~Tiistai 19.02.2013 02:14

A broken mirror. A bleeding fist. A silverblade against a wrist. Tears falling down to lips unkissed. She's not the kind you'll come to miss. That's the problem with cutting. Once you start you can't stop. It's addicting, cutting is my drug. It serves its purpose perfectly. Once I cut I forget about everything that has been wrong. All that is left is my concentration on my cut. I forget about everything but the pain. Pain has become my world. I'll show you mine if you show me yours first. Let's compare scars I'll tell whose is worse. You bleed just to know you're alive. I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain. Just because we cut doesn't mean we are suicidal. We have our reasons. But nine times out of ten the reason is not death. Look at your scars. Or your burns. Or those bruises you gave yourself. Each one is a battle with yourself. That you lost. Each time I drag a blade across my wrist and watch the blood slowly start to pour I pray for the courage to press down a little more. Pain of mind is worse than pain of body. The wounds will heal and the pain will subside. And the scars that you tried so hard to hide will go away. But the memories will never fade and the proof will always show. The lines upon my face tell you all you need to know. Don't fall into the trap of pretending everything's okay when you know that it isn't. How would you know I'm hurting if you can't see my pain? To tear it on my body tells what words can't explain. How could you understand when I can't understand myself? Maybe one day it'll be okay again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be okay again. What's the point of screaming? Not like anybody's listening. Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy. Tired of living yet scared of dying. I have a tendency to hurt myself physically when I'm hurting inside. Some of us are just trying to get through the day without falling apart. Look at me. You may think you see who I am. But you'll never really know me. I cry. Then I cut. Then I cry again. It never stops~

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