IRC-Galleria

Underground people from everywere were gathering on a picnic in the hill's, not far from here. They ate first then they went fishing and caught a huge Salomon called Bernard. Suddenly a Swedish man came by to tell them shit about shit. Nobody understod him. I saw this whole situation by accident,and suprisingly i hatet all off it. Fuck this i said and went to buy beer and some candy from nearby shop. Two hours later i found my self very drunk at the sewer. There was this tiny little rat that i named after one of my best friend: Bonsai-Boris. I ate the rat cos i was really hungry. When i got home i felt a sleep. When i woke up i realised that i had brain cancer.




SAM-the-MAN-with-the-MASTERPLAN.

When this whole story begun,i was only five or six years old. It all started from a small human error by Don Waxol-Xante. He was a clumsy man. My part in these strange series is minor but still, in some level,relevant. About eleven years from the accident i had moved in with a bunch of loafers. I was trying to get rid of them cos it was really my house,they just wanted to live there. One day i came home and realised that i were part of this wery important thing wich didnt quite understnd yet. It turned out that i had promised to my good friend Frech Doyler that i would go and have some fun with him. "What ever" i thought and went to eat my hunger off. As i ate i realized that i was bored,i had to do something nice. I chose this cheasy night club to be my place of nicenes. Inspite of all odds,the owner of this shitty club was Don Waxol-Xante. As he introdouced himself to me,he felt down and died. I felt good to see someone to screwup that bad,yet sad for seeing him die like that. The next morning i woke up next to a beatiful woman. I thoughed that i had experiensed my first happy ending. I was wrong. The woman next to me woke up,yelled at me in some strange language and took my money as she left. So i thought i´d go for a round of pool and for a few beer of choise.











-Back to realitY-

Motherfuckers used to hang around this new and fancy chicken-hole. I once saw them doing some magic. Then i got to a spanish class,inspite of evrything. There was only one student besides me. His name was Carbio Salamanderr. We soonly became the verybest of friends. We used to hang around local swimmingpool. There i met the love of my life. I still can´t remember her name, but that is irrelevant, cos she was pretty ugly and i was drunk as a fuck. The next morning i had a bad hangover,later it leaded me in to some small irritating toubles. About a week later i was smoking some odd plant from the indians. then i saw some clips of my previous life´s. that was psycheledic. The next morning i wokeup from a kettle,i thought that everything was over but then a starger called Jim-of-Carrie-Tree got me out of there. This time that was it.








George W. Bush

What the hell was todays plan. There was this slow feeling floading in the area. Everyone felt tired and numb. Then suddenly i felt an urgent need for some action. At that wery moment some weird flippers were at this local worm-farm, drinkin beer and spitting in a row. That was not truly my business but still i thoughed that there was still some hope left for my sick and twisted mind. As i kept on drouning in to my mind i realised that i am healthy and felt perfect. Must be something i ate.









OLDSCHOOL SUPERHERO

Disneyland was a happy place to be but not too happy, it was just perfect before the evil Tailor Bob Johnson came and destroyed the beautines of enjoy. I was wery wery angry about that, but there was nothing to do, he was too powerful to beat. So i had to lose this battle and start another one. I started my new battle with man called Monsun Mongoloid, becos he was retarted and ugly as shit. I felt no mercy when destroing he´s life. Actually i felt pretty good and fine. Then suddenly i lost control of the sitsuation and went crazy and mad. I lived nearly a year in a small boat surrounded by jellyfishes and a seagull, wich i hated. then i got an urgent need to go and find the true meaning of every existance. I realised what it was but i cant tell you what it was, you must expierience it, and then you may get little closer to your self.





Gurfeus=Guru+Morfeus

Rainy day
Happy day
Rainy day







Happy day Happy day

As I was walking trough the gates of hell I stopped to think were everythingwent wrong. Well i think it started at this rainy sunday afternoon, when Jaagup was getting woods from nearby forrest. I was just walking at my place trying to remember what i was doing. Suddenly i got this need to run, so i put on my shoes and went out, but as i stepped out some yelled at me something i didint quite unserstand. She was calling help i realized later when i was going to my friends castle to expand my mind. On the way to there i had this weird accident. I woke up from hospital at the next morgning. I tried to get up but i couldnt cos i had no leggs. I screamed for someone but no one came so i went back to sleep. I woke up about two hours later when this smelly old doctor was shaking me. "Get up." He said. "Lets go". He said. Then i had a total blackout. Next thing i can remember is that i wokeup from cafeteria near Slovenia. I was littlebit confusled cos suddenly i had got my leggs back. Allmost everything was going to hell, but still i felt happy.





PEOPLE WALK BY, THE SUN REPAIRS MY SOUL.

Shit happens i thought when i was fired from the office of horror. Reason why i got fired was that i fucked everything up and screwed the bosses wife. Later that day i went to a cafeshop to get something to eat. Cafeshop was loaded with swedish turists who all, from some odd reason, wanted to play pingpong with the shopkeaper. I saw that it was best for me to leave, becouse i didint want eny troubles with enyone. When i left there i found this wery old revolver with one bullet in it. I left it there, but i kept on wondering why was it there? Whos was it? But then i forgot the whole thing and went to a videoshop. There i bought some of the best tapes in the world. Then came the rain. I couldnt go out cos there was raining. The shopkeeper, called France Collahugh, asked if i wanted to go at hes place to sleep. I said no and ran out to the rain. Littlebit later i got shot and i died.




LateFolk who was The killer

....hmmm....what about him...? Well he was stupid as hell and ugly as shit, and did not know enything about gardening or enything else. When the man whitout pants realized that his shirt was dirty he changed it and felt happy, or sad. On monday morgings he used to sat on the big rock on he´s frontyard and thinked about he´s past and future. Then he realized that he had never left hes yard, never. He went in and put on pants and went to see the big world. The world accpted him as he was. He was thirtynine yearold when he went to the big world. He made me understand that there is more to it than just a rock and life without pants. He was almost my verybest friend...






Jesus A.D.I.D.A.S.

Inside the house was this strange piano type of thing,when you touched it,it made a sound that cant be explained. Colt Major was just about to blow that shit up when i yelled at him to hurry up. So he did and blewed it up way earlier than expected,that foolish trick turnedout to be yet funny and sad,becouse there was this dog trapped inside the quitar and was killed during the whole blowing up thing. I laughted at the dog and said:"BoomBada-BadaBoom!" and then i giggled like a little girl,i suddenly stopped laughing and went to barbershop to cut my hear. Barber made a mistake and cut me bold. That was allright by me cus i had it all figured out: Barber-man was my fathers dog who was trapped inside that quitar that was blowen up by Colt Major and who was saved by a strange miracle.


by: Dr. Phil