IRC-Galleria

pregnant.

Since I was young, I have always thought that I want to have children. Many. I do not much know why, I just can guess. All of the reasons are not very pretty,actually they are quite sick and selfish. That is why I do not go deeper to that.

I as well always knew, that I will not give birth.

When pointing this out, people usually expect, that I do not want to ruin my body, or that I fear the pain. It is true, that I do not want my body to change - but that has nothing to do with my tummy-skin or hips or nipples. No, I just do not want all those evil little chemicals to change the deeply thinking me into moon which goes around the kid. Or that I can not choose who I cuddle, but that I have to keep touching the little fella. Sure I would like to keep my teenage dream-body 'till I die, but I do not think I will die soon enough for that. And hey, look at my mother, the most beautiful woman in town, and that after giving birth to five kids - including antichristus-me. What comes to pain... wait, I enjoy pain? Yeah, so I do not think I would be afraid of that. More of the needles I would be facing during the program.

My main reason is simple: there is so many kids without parents, that when I am parent without kids, why not to choose from them. I do not want to produce more people to this sad world.

But lately I have faced scary things. That the first days of kid are very essential. That no matter how good parent you are, if the beginning is ruined, then it is. If the kid was hungry in uterus, it will be hungry for the rest of it's sad little life. And in case it was abandoned, or felt so, it will have problems about that. That kind of stuff. Adopting someone who has different skin-color was never an option, since the poor kid will anyway differ quite much from so-called normal people. What if the kid would be naturally stupid?

I have always thought, that if I would give birth, I would like to mix my DNA with many different men. I have interest to see how the kids would differ. Not to mention all the Spartan things I would like to try...

I have been taking care of triangle (like twins but three) lately. And god they are cute! I want to steal them and then serve them as desert, with strawberries and cream. Don't take me wrong, I hate babies. That is one point to adopt - I can choose to take someone who is old enough to use bathroom and fork. Babies are smelly, creamy and needy (I do not say it much changes after that, just saying...). And they can not do much, meaning they are boring. Toddlers are ok, and from that on it gets better.

But I am curious about the proses. Having kid inside me, one that I did not eat. And then 18 years of free nazism. Super. And leaving my own DNA. Way to became immortal.

I have so many thoughts. I have kinda about three years to decide - then I can start the adoption-proses.

Opinions welcome. Facts even more welcome.

And stuff I forgot to point out.

I wrote this in english, because I have an english keyboard. Meaning I don't have those funny a:s and o:s with dots.