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I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close ~Pablo Neruda

This is one of my most favorite quotes of all time. I stumbled on it again tonight while browsing Tumblr. I am a quotes collector. I also love tumblr for a lot of bdsm pictures and quotes.. I always collect ones or post ones that hold a deep meaning to me. If you could read my tumblr.. you would know what's in my heart and mind. Most know the same goes for me with music. I often listen to music and songs that reflect what I cannot say myself. Music and dancing have always been an escape for me. My girlfriend and I were talking about getting back into dancing. She really wants to do a cardio dance/pole dancing class.. It's a dance class that does both dancing and pole dancing. Sounds uhm..interesting but I am game. I am intending to push myself to new experiences this year.

I did something today that surprised myself and something I been delaying doing. I am not going to go into detail but it was therapeutic. I am proud of myself.

I was supposed to head to Vegas tomorrow but as I stated many entries back.. my girlfriends family came down so we postponed. We were talking today (me and my three gfs met today for coffee) and decided to just go ahead and plan a cruise instead. I already dislike winter lol. I think we are planning mid January. You can get really good last minute deals. It was just going to be my gf and I but now there is 4 of us going, all girls.. Will be more fun I think. They were asking my opinion on ships. As I have cruised often. They want a ship with a lot of fun stuff to do, Lido parties ect.. So it's Carnival. I told them I would look into itineraries and get back to them with the options so I am doing that tonight, research.

Not being owned anymore it's kinda odd to adjust to making my own choices and decisions and be the one in control of my own mind and body. I still enjoy the Pascal video's and have watched a few and found a new found interest in them lol. I have written many stories as well. I still write and research my submissive learning. I have found a deeper level of submissive side to myself through this research and writing. It's been eye opening and very much a self discovery to why I do/did the things I do. What I should do better.. How to better communicate ect.. as well getting in tune with my own mind...and body.

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body's bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you'd know anywhere?

This song is just incredible..Insensitive by Jan Arden.. I always loved this song... I know I love many songs lol. I took advantage of the boxing day sales today. I found a microwave...then I hit the mall. I bought some new clothes and some makeup.. then I bought way too many new bra and panties set..few stockings and a garter belt lol. Just to spoil myself :)
I am feeling so much better today than I was last night before bed.. Good nights sleep helped.. I am so thankful Christmas is over.. I had zero spirit this year. Now I am ready for normalcy … whatever that looks like now.. Think I am going to go relax in a hot bath with my tea and candles. I work tomorrow, only few hours then I am meeting up for quick coffee.

Oh, my friend here SS wrote something about me in his journal that made me feel really good said "My online friend from this site is going to have a nice day from what I can see and I'm happy for her too. She is a hottie. She sent me a couple of pics (I am editing to add, G rated, a fully dressed Christmas picture lol) and although she is hurting a bit from a breakup, little does she know she's got it all. Heart, body, and soul. I think she'll have a great year in 2019. I hope I have 1/2 as good a year as she will have.

SS..thank you for the such sweet words in your journal about me. You been a god sent lately to me and I truly appreciate you and am thankful we've become friends :) and you are right.. Next year will be our year. We will both find happiness.

Have a wonderful evening all <3