IRC-Galleria

Näin nainen käy suihkussa:

1. Riisuu vaatteet ja laittaa ne pyykkikoriin, jaoteltuna valko- ja kirjopyykkiin.
2. Pukee päällensä kylpytakin ja menee kylpyhuoneeseen. Matkalla hän kohtaa poikaystävänsä, kiristää vähän kylpytakkia ja puolijuoksee loput matkasta.
3. Jää seisomaan peilin eteen ja tarkistelee itseään tarkasti. Rentouttaa vatsaansa ja valittaa, kun hänestä on tullut niin lihava.
4. Menee suihkuun, ottaa esille kasvojen, käsien, jalkojen ja selän pesusienet!
5. Pesee hiukset erikoisshampoolla, joka sisältää avokaadoa, hunajaa ja 42 vitamiinia!
6. Pesee hiukset uudestaan samalla shampoolla!
7. Käyttää erikoishoitoainetta, joka sisältää avokaadoa ja hunajaa, antaa sen vaikuttaa 15 min.
8. Pesee kasvojaan tarkasti 10 min, silkinpehmeällä ja perkeleen kalliilla saippualla, joka sisältää omenoita. Sen jälkeen kasvoilla on sama väri kuin keitetyillä ravuilla.
9. Pesee kehon toisella yhtä kalliilla saippualla, joka sisältää pähkinöitä ja viinimarjoja.
10. Tämän jälkeen hän huuhtelee hoitoaineen pois - tämä kestää 10 min. Hänhän haluaa vain olla varma, että kaikki hoitoaine on poissa, muuten hiuksista tulee raskaita ja litteitä.
11. Ajaa kainalo- ja säärikarvat.
12. Kirkuu, kun poikaystävä leikillään sammuttaa valot.
13. Sammuttaa suihkun.
14. Ravistaa kaiken veden pois päältään suihkussa.
15. Astuu suihkusta ulos Aasian kokoisessa pyyhkeessä kuivattaakseen vartalonsa.
16. Käärii hiukset turbaanille superimutehoiseen pyyhkeeseen.
17. Menee takaisin makuhuoneeseen edellä mainitussa kylpytakissa.
18. Kohtaa poikaystävänsä matkalla, kiristää kylpytakkia lisää ja juoksee huoneeseen. Käyttää tunnin pukemiseen.

Näin mies käy suihkussa:

1. Riisuu vaatteet, kun hän istuu sängyllä, levittää vaatteensa ympäri lattiaa.
2. Kävelee alastomana kylpyhuoneeseen. Matkalla kohtaa tyttöystävänsä, ylpeänä näyttää munansa ja karjuu kuin leijona.
3. Jää seisomaan peilin eteen ja vetää mahansa sisään. Tarkistaa munansa koon, rapsuttaa pallejaan ja sen jälkeen haistelee käsiään.
4. Menee suihkuun vihellellen.
5. Ei etsi pesusientä, koska hän ei moista käytä.
6. Pesee kasvot lähikaupasta ostamallaan saippualla.
7. Pieraisee ja repeää nauruun, koska kylpyhuoneessa on hauska kaiku.
8. Rauhoittuu, mutta repeää kohta taas nauruun kun tuoksu savuttaa hajuaistin.
9. Pesee sukukalleudet ja ympärillä olevan alueen.
10. Pesee perseen saippualla ja jättää karvoja saippuaan.
11. Pesee hiukset jollain shampoolla eikä käytä hoitoainetta.
12. Tekee typerän kampauksen.
13. Ihailee uutta hiusmuotiaan peilistä.
14. Kusee tyytyväisenä suihkun lattiakaivoon.
15. Huuhtelee shampoon ja saippuan ja astuu heti pois suihkusta, mutta ei huomaa, että oli jättänyt vetämättä suihkuverhoa eteen kun meni suihkuun. Joten nyt koko kylpyhuone, vessapaperia myöten on läpimärkä.
16. Kuivattaa itseään nopeasti ja kevyesti.
17. Katsoo taas peiliin ja jäykistää lihaksensa ja tarkistaa munansa koon.
18. Unohtaa sammuttaa valon jälkeensä.
19. Menee takaisin makuuhuoneeseen pieni pyyheliina ympärillään. Kohtaa tyttöystävänsä matkalla, repii heti pyyhkeen pois ja näyttää ylpeänä munansa ja karjuu kuin leijona.
20. Heittää märän pyyhkeen sängylle ja antaa sen olla, pukee päällensä 2:ssa minuutissa

hei saanks mä sun numeron, nii rupeen pommittaan sua mun pervoilla viesteillä samalla ku katon hopeanuolta.

vielä 5 maanantai aamua ja sitte on lämmin. <3

laihis<3

sen kunniaksi isi meni mäkkäriin.

BigMäääg. :DDD

VOIitkuPARKUnyyhkyPOTKUyyh.

<3

you were right, i was wrong
it doesn't mean, i want you gone
takin' it easy, just hangin' out
even when i'm happy, seems that you're in doubt

well, it's all about communication
so, i say this for your information

just because i like you, don't mean i need you
you don't have to be here every day
just because i'm with you, don't mean i have to
i don't wanna diss you
but how can i miss you
when you never go away

can get too much of something good
you always call me, cause you think you should
just relax and let it be
i'll come around, eventually

let's make certain what is fact or fiction
though it may sound like a contradiction

just because i like you...

i don't need a long vacation
but, now and then, just pass my station
how i wish you understood
that i don't wanna diss you
i just wanna miss you

just because i like you...

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auta kissaa valloittaa irc-galleria
lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaan

Näin Kauriista sanotaan alan kirjallisuudessa:

Kauriit ovat kunnollisen ihmisen ruumiillistumia. He tekevät työnsä kunnolla eivätkä pidä itsestään meteliä. Kauriit ovat pienestä pitäen mietteliäitä ja totisia, ja siksi vaikuttavatkin usein vanhemmilta kuin ovat. He tekevät elämässään paljon uhrauksia, eivät niinkään muita auttaakseen, vaan säilyttääkseen rauhan ja tyyneyden omassa elämässään.

Kauriit ovat älykkäitä ja loogisia. He tekevät paljon havaintoja ympäröivästä maailmasta ja pohtivat niitä. Kauriilla on kyltymätön tiedonjano, ja se tekee heistä sivistyneitä ja fiksuja. Totinen ja rauhallinen Kauris on myös erittäin kunnianhimoinen. He toimivat usein johtavissa työtehtävissä. Toisaalta, Kauriit tarvitsevat myös paljon hyväksyntää muilta ihmisiltä. Usein ulkopuolisten mielipiteet merkitsevät heille enemmän, kuin läheisten ihmisten.

Kauriit eivät ole spontaaneja, vaan varovaisia ja kaukonäköisiä. Vahvatahtoinen Kauris on parisuhteessa erittäin romanttinen ja uskollinen. Hän on kumppanilleen lempeä, ja kykenee syviin ja vakaisiin tunteisiin.




Ja sitten totuusÂ…
Näin Kauriin kanssa seurustelleet sen ovat kokeneet:

Kaurisnainen:

Kaurisnainen voi olla sietämätön kontrollifriikki. Oman elämän kontrollointi ei hänelle riitä, vaan syynissä ovat myös läheisten elämät. Kaurisnaisella on sietämätön tapa tietää kumppaniaan paremmin tämän käytöksessä jokaisen tunnetilan ja motiivin. Kaurisnainen yksinkertaisesti päättää etukäteen, mitä mieltä toinen on asioista. On suuri loukkaus, jos tilanteet eivät mene hänen suunnittelemallaan tavalla. Kaurisnainen on loukattuna todella hermostunut ja kireä.

Sosiaalisesti Kaurisnainen voi olla erittäin pidättäytyvä. Viileä ulkokuori antaa hänestä pelottavan ja jopa tylyn vaikutelman. Tämä tekee Kaurisnaisista vaikeasti lähestyttäviä. He ovat ihmisten kanssa jatkuvasti varuillaan, etteivät joutuisi kohtaamaan pettymyksiä. He pakenevat maailmaa ja vaikeita tunteita yksinäisyyteen. Suurin Kaurisnaisten ongelma on, että he eivät uskalla heittäytyä tunteiden vietäväksi. Siksi he ovat pidättyväisiä myös parisuhteessa.

Kauriit valitsevat tarkasti ystävänsä. Kriteerit ovat kovat ja he sietävät huonosti virheitä.

Kaurisnainen voi olla suhteessa mustasukkainen, mutta ei koskaan myönnä sitä. Mustasukkaisuus näkyy kireytenä ja kohtuuttomina syytöksinä kumppania kohtaan. Kaurisnainen valitsee kumppanikseen usein niin sanottuja luusereita, joita hoivaamalla he voivat tuntea ylemmyyttä. Kaurisnainen on pahimmillaan käskevä, armoton ja kylmä hirviö, jonka kasvoilla on vain yksi tyly ilme.





Kauris sängyssä:

Kauris on sängyssä aluksi erittäin pidättäytyvä ja ujo. Ensimmäiset 5-10 kertaa voivat olla hankalaa sähellystä. Kannattaa olla kärsivällinen, koska sitten homma voi alkaa sujua. Kun ujoudesta on päästy, on Kauris todella intohimoinen ja joskus jopa kokeilunhaluinenkin. Kaurisnainen ottaa sängyssä mielellään ohjat käsiinsä ja näyttää miten hommat hoidetaan.

Intohimoisen kauden jälkeen seksi Kauriin kanssa voi muodostua tylsäksi. Kun jotain toimivaa on löydetty, Kauris haluaa että siinä pysytään.

Kauris ei kykene rakasteluun, jos tunnepuolella mättää. Kauriin vaikean luonteen takia ongelmia onkin odotettavissa, myös sängyssä.



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