IRC-Galleria

In the middle of a summer, a lifetime before now, I spent a couple of weeks alone in New York City its the only place Id ever been where anyone could be completely invisible; rich or poor, anonymous, famous Everyones invisible. I was wandering around and getting lost on the trains in the middle of the night. I was broke enough to hate how much more expensive an awful bottle of merlot is on the East Coast than it is back home in Northern California. It was night after night and day after day of chain-smoking and lonely hangovers - too much TV News, eating away at my optimism... I was listening to Bright Eyes and Death Cab albums on repeat, practically wearing holes in my shoes walking up and down the length of that crazy island. Manhattan is about thirteen miles north to south and about two and half miles east to west, roughly thirty-two and a half square miles. Thats nine hundred and six million, forty-eight thousand square feet and I felt like I had stepped all over each and every one of them

Most days I walked from when I woke up in the afternoon until I found my way back to my hotel in the early morning. I always had my headphones blaring my own soundtrack for the taxicabs and crowded sidewalk scenes. All of Central Park danced in perfect time to my playlist. A few times I found myself singing in the dank subway dungeons but not performing Not then I was just mumbling under my breath, counting syllables on my fingers and humming in my head along with instrumental ideas the band had recorded for me to write to before I left home. They say the best way to go unnoticed in a crowd is to look everyone in the eye as you pass them by; The first thing people do when confronted with a strangers glance is look away. Whereas, if you dont see them watching you, if they have time to study you, thats exactly what theyll do Well I tried that trick a lot - so nobody saw me. Nobody saw my eyes tired and stinging, cradled in nests of thick puffy bags of skin. I was using up all the ink in my pens and filling up notebooks and mini-tapes with everything that crossed my mind - most of which was useless - but when you're documenting everything it's only natural that most of what you write would be garbage, junk you amass and collect only to sift through when the dust settles...