IRC-Galleria

Or I'll Be Forced to Learn Something

Dude: So I just wrote, 'John Locke was a great guy.'
Chick: That's all you wrote? How many points did you get?
Dude: He gave me eight out of ten! He must have felt sorry for me.
Chick: Wow. I hope the professors at my school are that easy.

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: writing these two out of the social contract

Maailman mahtavin kansakunta...


Angry black lady to bartender: Excuse me! I asked for Sex on the Beach, and you gave me Butt-Fuck on the Pond!

--Gotham Bar & Grill

*tipahdus*

We're Thinking of Going on the Road

Teen girl #1: Lauren! What is the name of the movie I saw that one time? You know -- there was a guy in it. He had, um... hair? He was sad and stuff?
Lauren: Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands.
Teen girl #1: Yes! Exactly! Him! He was in another movie. I swear... Um... His hair was different, though, and he had that hat. We should rent that movie.
Lauren: The movie Secret Window will scare you. Your mind can't take in something like that.
Teen girl #1: Hey! Well, yeah, maybe you're right.
Teen girl #2, to Lauren: How can you ever tell what she's talking about?!
Lauren: I can read the minds of idiots. It's a sad and useless power. Except, of course, in cases like this.

--Central Park

*itkee ja nauraa hysteerisesti*

Who Was That Masked Man?

Beer buddy #1: I have a question. You know how there are plenty of girls who won't do oral or anal sex, right?
Beer buddy #2: No girl who I'd waste any time with, but yeah. So?
Beer buddy #1: So, statistically there must be some homosexual guys who won't do oral or anal sex, right? I mean, just by the law of averages, there must be, right?
Beer buddy #2: So? Is this leading to some kind of hypothesis?
Beer buddy #1: Well, if a gay guy isn't into oral or anal sex, where does he fit into the gay community?
Beer buddy #3: He could do a lot of other things. He could let other guys piss into his mouth, he could jack off onto other guys, he could do circle jerks, he could be a bukkake boy... There's lots of stuff he could do.
Beer buddy #1: Oh, yeah. I never thought of that.
Queer at next table, getting up to leave: He could also be fitted with a leather hood, suspended from the ceiling, and taught discipline. If you want to know more, here's my card.

--Bar, Soho

Overheard by: Big Larry