IRC-Galleria

My head hurts again. The walls seem to be falling on me and I just keep laughing. My heart aches and I feel somehow hurt. This pain inside of me has made me numb. I somehow keep finding it very pleasureable and releaving to feel the pain again. I must have deserved it. I am such a masochistic. Makes me laugh even more. My head keeps spinning around and I feel like yelling and laughing at the same time. But somehow not crying. I have become so cynical. Makes me want to hurt my self again. I find my self pathetic again. Heh. So stupid. Im a clueless human being. Makes me wonder why am I even still alive. Thought death would be just too easy. Like a release. As I said... I have deserved all this pain. Yeah I have. I don't have a right to die. Yeah... And I keep noticing how I keep entering the same words all over again. Doesn't make any sence. Idiotic. Lifes just one big drag.