Kaipaan Sua !Keskiviikko 30.11.2005 18:26

I`m becoming more and more sad in every day-
however, there`s not a tear in my eyes.
Only emptiness in my soul and thoughts about what will happen now....
Alone against everybody; always ready to prove and give reasons.
Inspite of reproaches, doubts- ismile...
I like to laught, even when i`m in terrible pain ...alone... without friends-
against everything...
Laught gives me strenght to wake up at mornings...knowing that i`m alone.
Laught hides my real feelings from others-
often from myself too.
In night blindness, with tears i wash away smile from my face.
Without it i`m not the one that everybody thinks me to- strong...
When other minds are resting in beautiful dreamland then i am standing in this cruel life- on empty field, without knowing where to turn my face.
Do i accept this red and burning way to hell
or keep on walking along this fake old road,
between clouds and sun???!...
Everything seems to be harder than ever before...when i didn`t have u...
Lonelyness... and lonelyness only suites for me...and for my nature... =`(

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