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Rista

Rista

BONGAA KÄPYJÄ..
Valitse kuukausi jolloin synnyit:

Tammikuu- Söin
Helmikuu- Löin
Maaliskuu- Nussin
Huhtikuu- Katsoin
Toukokuu- Runkkasin
Kesäkuu- Vedin turpaan
Heinäkuu- Nauratin
Elokuu- Puukotin
Syyskuu- Ampuin
Lokakuu- Rakastelin
Marraskuu- Haukuin
Joulukuu- Pidin kädessäni

Valitse päivä jolloin synnyit:

1. Huoraa
2. Poika/tyttöystävääsi
3. Naista jolla on HIV
4. Seksikästä tyttöä
5. Joulupukkia !!!
6. Playboy-pupua
7. Naimisissa olevaa äitiä
8. Koppakuoriaista
9. Äitiäsi
10. Pääsiäispupua
11. Jalkapallo pelaajaa
12. Pirua
13. Aasialaista
14. Opettajaani
15. Kiveä
16. Elvistä
17. Pornotähteä
18. Puhelinta
19. Tietokonettani
20. Sinun taloa
21. Äitiä
22. Lammasta
23. Pappia
24. Sihteeriä
25. Mr.Oikeaa
26. Transua
27. Terotinta
28. Sinun kuumaa siskoa
29. George Bush:ia
30. CD-levyä
31. Tulostinta

Nimesi kolmas kirjain:

A- koska tykkään suklaasta
B- koska minulla oli tylsää
C- koska housuni olivat liian tiukat
D- koska hedelmä tykkää kärpäsestä
E- koska sydämeni on liian pieni
F- koska en saanut yhtään lahjaa jouluna
G- koska tykkään kananmunista
H- koska huomenna on maailmanloppu
I- koska viilsin ranteeni auki!
J- koska minulla ei ole tyttö/poikaystävää
K- koska pidän jalkapallosta
L- koska olin pilvessä
M- koska olin sekaisin
N- koska äitini käski
O- koska olen homoseksuaali
P- koskan olen yksinäinen
Q- koska vanhempani riitelevät paljon
R- koska minua panettaa
S- koska haluan tehdä itsemurhan
T- koska inhoan koulua
U- koska minulla on tarve masturboida
V- koska tykkään juhlia
W- koska se kutsuu minua
X- koska tykkään tummista
Y- koska tykkään uida
Z- koska olin humalassa
Å- koska minun vasen kives on suurempi kuin toinen
Ä- koska vasen rintani on suurempi kuin toinen
Ö- koska minulla oli sormi anuksessa

hih...Tiistai 27.02.2007 00:06

Se joka saa hyvän kasvatuksen, siitä tulee kiltti.
Sellaisella, joka saa huonon kasvatuksen on kivaa.

Timo 6v.

Joskus juhlan jälkeen tulee toinen juhlapäivä. Ei kukaan oikeastaan
tiedä miksi se tulee, mutta ollaan vain iloisia ja lomalla eikä turhaan kysellä.

Anna 9v.

Ristiin voi ripustaa joulukuusen palloja, niin että Jeesuksellakin on
vähän hienompaa ja hän saa riippua hyvässä seurassa.

Tuomas 7v.

Joosef ei ollut Jeesuksen isä. Siinä oli joku juttu aasin kanssa, mutta en muista mikä??

Sanna 6v.

Jeesus kuoli pitkänäperjantaina. Kun hän eli, hän aina hoputti
opetuslapsia, mutta kun hän oli kuollut, ne kävivät pitkälleen. Siksi
sitä sanotaan pitkäksiperjantaiksi. He itkivät, mutta kyllä heistä
oli mukavaakin lekotella vähän aikaa.

Kauko 8v.

Jeesuksella ei ollut lompakkoa, koska hänellä ei ollut taskuja.
Vaipat vaan koko ajan. Sitten kävi todella huonosti.

Keijo 8v.

On kumma miten vähän saa aikaan, jos vain lakkaa yrittämästä.

Paula 8v.

Jos kaikki ovat ajoissa kotona, tulee perhepäivällinen.
Muuten tulee usein vain pussikeittoa.

Lauri 6v.

Pappi kysyy tahdotko mennä naimisiin sen kanssa, joka seisoo siinä
vieressäsi, vai haluatko mieluummin jonkun muun.
Useimmiten siinä ei ole ketään toista, niin että vastataan tahdon.

Eero 7v.

Avoliitto ja avioliitto on melkein samaa, paitsi että toinen on
pakollista ja toinen on vapaaehtoista.

Siiri 7v.

Minä en halua saada lapsia. Kinaa tulee ihan tarpeeksi nukkejen
kanssa. Parempi olisi saada käytetty eläin eläintensijoituslautakunnalta.

Maija 7v.

Tasa-arvo tarkoittaa, että isä ja äiti tuottavat lapsia yhdessä.
Ennen vanhaan vain äiti ruokki lapsen, kun isä kulki pankkiin ja takaisin.

Anne 7v.

Älä anna vauvoille sipulia, minä olen kokeillut.

Tiina 7 v.

Olen perinyt silmät isältä ja hiukset äidiltä. Toppatakin olen
perinyt naapurilta.

Saara 7v.

Perheessä voi sanoa ihan mitä ajattelee eikä tarvitse pelätä, että joku
ajattelee samalla tavalla.

Heikki 6v.

Presidentin pitää pukeutua hyvin ja pitää olla punainen tukka.
Presidentin täytyy osata kätellä, että voi aina sanoa: Kiitos, että
olette valtioni.

Kaisa 8v.

Poliittinen elin on esimerkiksi pääministerin perna.

Olli 6v.

Kun tulee vanhaksi on yhä vaikeampaa liikuttaa ruumiinjäseniä ja
erottaa niitä toisistaan.

Axel 9 v.

Silloin ymmärtää, että on tullut vanhaksi, kun ei jaksa kävellä sinne
saakka minne pitäisi.

Victor 7 v.

Vanhainkoti on eräänlainen vanhojen ihmisten kennel.
Perheet voivat jättää vanhuksensa sinne, jos ne lähtevät lomalle tai
haluavat olla rauhassa. Vaikka siellä ei panna hihnaan.

Pelle 6 v.

Vanhainkodissa on paljon sellaista, mitä ei saa tehdä.

Ne ei saa ajaa skeittilaudalla eikä syödä purkkaa eikä pitää

ruudullisia jumppahousuja.

Lars-Erik 7 v.

Vanhainkodissa käytävillä haisee päivälliseltä ja nurkissa haisee jumalalta.

Siri 7 v.

Vanhat tädit katselevat mielellään alastomia miehiä.
He eivät vain myönnä sitä, kun kysyy.

Tone 7 v.

Vaikka vanhoilla tädeillä voi olla valtavat laitokset, maidontuotanto
on kokonaan loppunut.

Håkan 7 v.

Naisilla on muodot, mutta miehillä on salkku.

Björn 7 v.

Vanhemmat ihmiset eivät voi saada lapsia. Niiden munasarjat ovat
loppuneet ja sitä paitsi miehillä on proteesiongelmia.

Petter 9 v.

Keisarileikkaus tarkoittaa, että vauva leikataan ulos hätäuloskäynnin kautta.

Martina 6 v.

Ihmisen tärkein osa on nenä, koska se on keskellä päätä.

Anton 4 v.

Melkein kaikilla on aivot. Vähän tyhmillä on kananaivot.

Johan 6 v.

Aivot ovat sitä varten, että hiukset pysyisivät kiinni.

Nina 5 v.

Jos ei ole hermoja, niin tekee paremmin työtä ja ehtii tehdä enemmän asioita.

Harald 7 v.

Maalaiset ovat vähän niin kuin eri rotua, niin kuin putkimiehet ja vanhemmat.

Anders 8 v.

Maalaiset tulevat onnelliseksi heti, kun tuntevat paskan hajun.

Ola 5v.

Puita on siksi, ettei ulkona olisi niin tyhjää.

Antti 5 v.

Ennen vanhaan maalaisilla oli navetassa tyrannosaurus rexeja ja liskoja.

Therese 5 v.

Jos ei ole yhtään rahaa, niin monet rupeaa köyhiksi.

Roope 6 v.

Pankit jakaa rahaa ihmisille, mutta isä saa sitä töistä.

Anna 5 v.

Afrikassa lehmät syövät banaaneja, mutta jos ne ovat apinoita, ne
asuvat aarniometsässä ja nyppivät kirppuja.

Christel 5 v.

Ne lehmät, jotka juoksevat eniten ravistelevat utareitaan, tekevät
jogurttia.

Allan 5 v.

Sellaiset kanat jotka saavat kulkea missä haluavat, munivat hienompia
munia, koska niiden ei tarvitse pitää kanaverkkoa päässään.

Hans 6 v.
elämän tilanteet muuttuu minä en.. missä olen huomenna sitä tiedä en.. mut en täällä ainakaa.. kesästä tulee pitkä jos viettää sen tienpäällä.. joksus unelmien eteen pitää kärsiä.. muta onneks se palkitaan ajan kanssa..

kouluunnMaanantai 26.02.2007 09:00

jee.. vois lähtee.. kouluu nytku on taas tuhlattu yö valvomalla.. ettei kukaan tehää pahaa kellekkään.. ois viissii aika lähtee.. kouluu mitähän siitäki tulee.. väsymys on taas nii kova. ettei.. mitää rajaa... kiitos.. kahvi maistuis.. hei voisko joku olla kiltti ja keittää mulle tosi paljon sitä kahvii..

no mut päivä kerral kohti suurta unelmaa...

leijaMaanantai 26.02.2007 06:35

näin leijoihin kultaisiin kirjoitan.mä lauseen.. kaikkein kauneimman..

KUMIANKKAMaanantai 26.02.2007 00:48

ps.. mulle voi ostaaa synttärilahjaks kumiankkoja..

eli niitä löytynee.. ainaki.. hesaast..

http://www.kukunor.com/index.php?sid=12&gword=kumiankka&cat=&ser=&x=14&y=10
KUKUNOR, Fredrikinkatu 65, Tennispalatsi, 00100

KIITOS...

I could fit your whole house
in my swimming pool... kumiankoilla täytettynä..

KUMIANKKAMaanantai 26.02.2007 00:08

http://www.villenkello.fi/shop/kuvat/3125.jpg ja kuvia kumiankoista..

http://www.lintukoto.net/tutkimukset/jumalauta/jumalat.php?jumalaid=128 oi pyhä kumiankka..

http://www.juhlantaika.fi/popup_image.php?pID=2570&osCsid=3271415761dca8bd8a19a5a87dae2c07 ja kakun päälle..

http://www.students.tut.fi/~cami/Quack/ankkasivu.htm

Kumiankka on keltainen ja sen nokka on oranssi. Muut ankat eivät ole aitoja kumiankkoja, vaan kehnoja kopioita.
Kumiankalla tulee olla hyvät kelluntaominaisuudet: ts, sen tulee aina uida oikein päin. Kumiankka ei ole mikään kännikala!
Valitettavasti kumiankkoja ei tehdä kumista. Mutta muovi on kelvollinen materiaali, varsinkin jos se on kumin henkeen pehmeä ja joustava: ankka ei saa mennä lommolle, vaan sen tulee pysyä muodossaan.
Kumiankka saa vinkua. Mutta äänisignaali ei ole pakollinen varuste, vaan lisäoptio. Hiljainen ankka on täsmälleen yhtä hyvä, paitsi jos se sanoo onomatopoeettisesti Quack! Sellainen ankka on ylivoimainen.

...Sunnuntai 25.02.2007 22:18

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MERIROSVO BILEEET...Tiistai 20.02.2007 15:27

eli 17.3 merirosvo bileet sen kunniaks et miust tulee vanhus 14.3.. jei.. kaik ken titää.. mis on jatkot ja alkot.. nii meseen...

asu pakko.. liittyen bileitä... ;)

MERIROSVO... muahahaaa...

menossa mukana:
kumiankka, alko, bissee ja sidukkaa, hyvä meininki, ja MINÄ

I LOVE KUMIANKKA.. :D

merirosvot ja pääkallot ja kumiankat messii...

kiitos jei..