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I donÂ’t like to feel empty like this
like thereÂ’s a hole in my cheast,
like my heart is taken away
and my feelings just turned into pain.
I canÂ’t feel anything else
and it brokes me so badly.
I donÂ’t like to know that truth
that you took every little piece of me
and how many times you
pushed me away
and spit on me.
IÂ’ve given my everything to you
and got nothing never back.

C:
ItÂ’s hard to know me
and what I really feel,
like a picture that
was colored with wrong colours.
IÂ’m learning to fly again
with my little wings
that was broken and
burned in fire of hell.
Somedays it feels that
IÂ’m flying against the wall
again and again and again,
but at least IÂ’m free now
and will never fly
inside the cage anymore.

I like to feel all that
happiness that was lost.
That laughter, joy and fun
that you took away
when you did lock me
in that fucking cage.
And hell yeah IÂ’m gonna
fly away.
I like to get me back to myself
cause you always only hated me,
and made me hate myself
cause you told me all the time
how wrong and stupid I am,
but there always was those
other peoples who really loved me
and took me away from hell.

02/2012

Muut sylki pois, Leslie Nielsen. Muut oli ahvenia, Sanna Kiiski. Muut oli lihaa, Arno Kasvi. Muut oli koiria, Sakari Orava. Muut sisusti huoneen, Riitta Salin. Muut oli noitia, Jarno Trulli. Muut oli metsiä, Kiira Korpi. Muut oli mökkejä, Väinö Linna. Muut halus Kalevin, Aira Samulin. Muut oli takkoja, Eppu Nuotio. Muut pani välkkymää, Maija Vilkkumaa. Muut oli loivia, Miina Äkkijyrkkä. Muut söi nätisti, Markku Puputti. Muut sanoi: "Pekka". Anneli Sauli. Muut oli virsuja, Paavo Lipponen. Muut oli jokia, Jarmo Koski. Muut olivat savua, Rakel Liekki. Muut olivat kolmioita, Jarkko Ruutu.

Perjantain kevennys: Muut meni yli, Muhammed ali. Muut löi swingin, Vladimir putin. Muut otti taksin, John lennon. Muut valitsi kaidan tien, Lea laveen. Muut oli kasvot kameraan päin, Markus selin. Muut sai töitä, Teuvo loman. Muut oli outoja, Eppu normaali. Muut oli ankkoja, Riki sorsa. Muut halus Eevan, Kofi Annan. Muut oli harakoita, Kaisa varis. Muut piti näpit kurissa, Pekka kouri. Muut kesti, Jerry lewis. Muut oli leppäkerttuja, Wilson kirwa. = D

Kuinka paljon hukkaan
elämää voi heittää
ennen kuin tajuaa
mikä on arvokasta.
Kuinka paljon saa
kaduttaa, kun ymmärtää,
ettei joitain asioita
saa koskaan takaisin,
vaikka kuinka haluaisi
tehdä sen kaiken toisin.
Kuinka paljon virheitä
löytäisin, jos
kulkisin polkuni taaksepäin,
kuinka paljon paremmin
kaiken ymmärtäisin, kun
näkisin sen täältäpäin.

2/2012 Pojille <3

ThereÂ’s still those moments
when I realize that I canÂ’t hide
from myself, even if IÂ’m running
all night long, IÂ’ll catch myself.
We are here together and I think that is
forever. So maybe itÂ’s better
to burn all the past away,
cause only our future is here to stay.

C:
Once in a while you still
have to go to your poisoned mind
and ask:
“How much there is those
heavy stones to break my
heart and crash my bones?”
But after all those windy nights
you can see that youÂ’ve won that fight.
Keep your head up high
and never forget or regret anything.
Just live few more years
and you find that peace inside.

Still thereÂ’s more and more those days
and moments when I realize
that everybodyÂ’s not evil inside.
And itÂ’s easier to get those
pieces together when I can see
that ItÂ’s finally really forever.
My permission to be like this.

08/11

(C) Minä ja vain minä!

Please my demon
let me sleep,
let me fall into
my dreams.
Don't kill my mind
and rape again.
Don't take my mind
just to blow it away.
Let myself control my mind
and see what's left for me to find.
Is there anything left?
You don't have to hide anymore.


C:
How can you shoot
a demon to kill it away
when it's made a home in your head?
Tell me, when it's gonna stop
and leave to the next place?
How can you let the pain away
when it's always been a part of you?
But now I see there's always hope
and that's the only truth.

Please my mind
let me be free.
Let my fucking demon
hide under it's sheet.
Don't fear anymore
there's no reasons left.
Just blue open sky
and the rainbow next.
And like always
there's some treasure to find.
There's really nothing anymore to hide.



((C) Minä edelleen ja jos väität omakses, ni turpaan tulee!! =))

When she looks at the mirror
there's only ugly she can see.
It's hard to her hear those
beautiful words
when she's brainwashed to
believe that she's nothing
more than a paper on the wall.
When she looks outside the window
there's only happy people she can see.
It's hard to her to be the same
when she's brainwashed to believe
that she's not allowed to do that.



c:
Behind those closed walls
there's always more
than you can see.
Behind her happy eyes
the next tear is waiting
when it's time to fall.
Behind her smile
there's secrets waiting
to be told.
And night after night
she can't sleep
with all her secrets
that was never allowed to tell
Before sleeping all those secrest
should be burned in hell.


When she looks to the past
there's only pain she can see.
It's hard to get it better
and forget
when she's brainwashed to
believe that it's everything she's get.
When she looks to the future,
there's only hope she can see,
but still it's hard to
heal that little soul,
when she's brainwashed to believe
almost everything she was told.


03/11



((C) Minä tai....)

Empty inside
no feelings left.
I have given everything
and what's really left
the shit you gave me,
the pain I feel.
All those fucking
bad memories.
I have to kill them
one by one
to see the sun again.


C:
One day I think
I'll be alive again.
one day I think
there's happines I can find.
One day I think
I'm gonna get back
all those lost things
that I used to have.

Lost without feelings,
flying with broken wings
I have to learn everything again.
The way I used to talk,
the way I used to walk.
But at least now
I can hear my own
voice
since I've killed you
in my head.

shut up
shut up
shut up
stop talking!!!

03/11


((C) Minä! tai tulee vittu turpaan!)

Vielä joskus minua pelottaa,
kun avaan oven,
että löydytkin jostain
piilosta.
Et olekaan mennyt pois.
Sytytän valot
joka huoneeseen,
kurkistan siivouskomeroon,
nostan peiton
ja katson sen alle,
eikä sinua ole,
ei siellä
eikä enää missään muuallakaan,
olet vihdoin
mennyt pois.

03/11