IRC-Galleria

happy bday to me happy bday to me hapy bday too meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee happy bday to me lol

Ladies leave your man at home
The club is full of ballers and their pockets full grown
And all you fellas leave your girl with her friends
Cause it's eleven thirty and the club is jumpin', jumpin'






Last weekend you stayed at home alone and lonely
Couldn't find your man, he was chillin' with his homies
This weekend you're going out
If he try to to stop you, you're goin' off
You got your hair done and your nails done too
A new outfit and your Fendi shoes
And when you're through parlayin' at the hottest spot
Tonight you're gonna find the fellas
Rollin' in the Lexus, drops and Hummers

Cuz I was born to be

The baby girl without a chance
A victim of circumstance
The one who oughta give up
But she's just too hard headed


I don't believe in self pity
It only brings you down
May be the queen of broken hearts
But I don't hide behind the crown
When the deck is stacked against me
I just play a different game
My roots are planted in the past
And though my life is changing fast
Who I am is who I wanna be

The baby girl without a chance
A victim of circumstance
The one who oughta give up
But she's just too hard headed
Who loves her fam and never stops
With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter
I'm a survivor


But I must have had my mama's will
And God's amazing grace
I'm a survivor

ONLY FLORIDIANS KNOW THIS...

"Down South" means The Keys

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or
Christmas.

You have a flip-flop tan on your feet and its there to stay

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,
not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or pop...its coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"


Anything under 95 is just warm.

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.


You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.(THEY NEVER GO AWAY!

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka, Opalocka and Loxahatchee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH" -IT REALLY ISN'T THOUGH. ITS BELLOW THE THE SOUTH. THIS TROPICAL SOUTH, HAHA, NOT DIRTY SOUTH.

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

Socks are only for bowling

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit

Tap water makes you vomit

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You could swim before you could read

You have to drive north to get to The South

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house had a blue roof in 2004-2005

You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark(and rainy)

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
Nobody knows

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythem of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me

She never slows down
She doesnÂ’t know why but she knows that
When sheÂ’s all alone it feels like its all coming down

She wonÂ’t turn around
The shadows are long and she fears
If she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

She never slows down
She doesnÂ’t know why but she knows that
When sheÂ’s all alone it feels like its all coming down

She wonÂ’t turn around
The shadows are long and she fears
If she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

Mother of Six!
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six " in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts across the room at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

---

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

---

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX.
(Because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(They don't have enough time) THE WAY'S OF MEN


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(They don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(Don't know....it never happened)


And the personal favorite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

For you I was the flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand


Self professed profound
Til' the chips were down
Know youÂ’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game