IRC-Galleria

Last night I cried tossed and turned, woke up with dry eyes.
My mind was racing, feet were pacing.
Lord help me please tell me what have I gotten into.
Ran my 3 miles to clear my mind, it always me out,
it's my therapy when I'm losing it which is usually.


I'm on a emotional rollercoaster.
Loving you aint nothing healthy.
Loving you was never good for me.
But I can't get off.


Yesterday I told myself I was gonna be okay.
Gonna start a new day be truly happy.
I was gonna take control of me.
But eventually reality hit me.
Mentally, physicaly, emotionally.
And I opened my eyes and realized
that I was still being taken for a constant ride


So tired of you making love to me, then disappearing so suddenly.
Up and down it goes.
And I'm so tired of you pacifying me
with promises you know that you'll never keep.
Round and round it goes.

I looked at your face I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I, I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do
Couldn't care less about the lies
You couldn't find the time to cry

Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began back in God's hands
You didn't respect it
You went and neglected it
You didn't deserve it
But I never expected this

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:

FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: lauren frankers
FIRST SCHOOL: northern private school
FIRST CELL PHONE:nokia
FIRST KISS: frankie
FIRST FUNERAL: uncle morts
FIRST PET: tina the turtle
FIRST BIG TRIP: finland
FIRST FIGHT: 7th grade some stupid haitian girl
FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: jordan knight new from new kids on the block
FIRST TIME OUT OF THE COUNTRY: to finland when i was 2
FIRST MYSPACE FRIEND: lauren

EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS:
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO: lauren
LAST CAR RIDE: when johannes drove me to work yesterday
LAST TIME YOU CRIED: yesterday ...
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED: the wash
LAST FOOD YOU ATE: lohi kuisaus
LAST THING BOUGHT: my crack aka national enquirer
LAST PHONE CALL: lauren
LAST TEXT MESSAGE: tiia
LAST THING YOU TOUCHED: the keyboard.
LAST FUNERAL: morts.
LAST TIME AT THE MALL: ehhh too long.
LAST TIME YOU WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING: nothing to be excited about lately
LAST THING YOU DRANK: pepsi max
LAST ALCOHOLIC DRINK: cider

Eight Have You Evers...
8. have you ever dated someone twice: well kinda .. joahnness--
7. have you ever been cheated on? yep.
6. have you ever kissed someone: duh.
5. have you ever kissed someone you regret: lately.... i regret a lot of things
4. have you ever fallen in love: yes.
3. have you ever lost someone: yes.
2. have you ever been depressed: yeah
1. have you ever been drunk and thrown up: yessir.

Seven Things You Did In The Past Three Days...
7. school: nope.
6. On the phone: yep.
5. got highlights: no.
4. watched movies: yes.
3. had a hug: yup.
2. bought sneakers: not in a while actually..like 2months.
1. taped something: like with scotch tape, yes. other than that, no.

Six People You Can Tell Pretty Much Anything To...
1. Lauren
2. Johannes
3. Toni
4. Jenni
5.Cathrina
6. My dad most of the times

Five Favorite Foods...
5. ropa viejo
4. salmon
3. mexican
2. cuban sandwich
1.arroz con pollo

Four Things You Couldnt Live Without...
1. johannes ( figured that one out sunday).
2. my family ( even tho they get on my nerves sometime
3. Lauren
4. cell phone.

Three Favorite Colors...
3. black
2. gold
1. pink

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die...
2. have kids
1. husband

So Far in '07 I have:......

gotten bad grades: nope.
made a new friend: yep.
fallen out of love: no.
done something you swore never to do: yep. ;)
laughed until you cried: yes.
went behind your parents back: no.
lost a friend: yes.
kept your new years resolution:ummm kinda
forgot your new years resolution: haha.
met someone who changed your life: sure.
changed your outlook on life: mos def.
left the state: nope.
lost someone: yess too many
gotten close to someone: yes.
given up something important to you: yes .. a little too imprtant
found out who your true friends were: yep.

THINGS ABOUT ME
1. Are your parents married or divorced?
2. Are you a vegetarian? nope.
3. Do you believe in Heaven? yes.
4. Have you ever come close to dying? yes.
5. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? my necklace.
6. Favorite time of day? sleepin time
7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? eww no
8. Do you wear makeup? yep.
9. Ever had plastic surgery? nope.
12. Have you ever done anything illegal? yep.
13. Can you roll your tongue? yeah
14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? wax and tweeze.
15. What kind of sneakers? nikes reebox
16. Do you believe in Abortions? i believe a woman has the right to make decisions about her own body, but no ... i dont personally agree with them.
17. What is your hair color? dark brown.
18. Future childÂ’s name:alani, antonio,Lexani,Maritza,Christopher,lol i got a list
19. Do you snore? sometimes.
20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? jamaica or brazil.

21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no :( dont have any
22. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? pay off all of my bills , buy a house and shop.
23. Gold or silver? gold
24. Hamburger or hot dog?usually id say hamburger but i miss hotdogs
25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life? cuban sandwich
26. What is your myspace song? died in your arms by smitty

1. Do you like anyone? - yeah
2. Do they know it? - lol everyone knows
3. Simple or complicated? - complicated.

IN - T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U

4. Had sex: - no
6. Gotten sick: - yeah but not too sick but i like never get sick.
7. Been hugged: - Yes.
9. Talked to an ex: yes
10. Failed a test: - no
11. Missed someone: - yeah.
12. Got your hair cut: - No.
13. Danced: - All the time.
14. wacked: - What the hell?lol..
15. Gotten a gift? yes..big.........blaack... haha not gna go on
16. Nervous habit? - smokin
17. Are you double jointed? - yes
18. Can you roll your tongue? - Yep.
19. Can you raise one eyebrow? - i try too and i think i can but i cant.
20. Can you cross your eyes? - yeah
21. Do you make your bed daily? - no
22. Do you think you are unique? - yer


H A V E - Y O U - E V E R'S

23. Said "I Love you"? - Yes.
24. Given money to a homeless person? -yes
26. Waited all night for a phone call? -yes too many times :(
28. Sat and looked at the stars? yes.
29. Do you swear/curse? - Like a pirate. thts one of my bad habbits
31. You cook your own food? - yessir
32. You do your own chores? - yea
33. You like beef jerky? - iyeah ... step into a slim jim
35. You're happy with your life?ehhhhhhh
36. You own a dog? mr bubush
37. You spend your money wisely?ha!! thts another one of my bad habits really bad with money!!!like seriously im probley the worst person! no contest
38. You like to swim? - yeah
39. When you get bored do you call a friend? -joahnness..hah my hunny gets mad sumtimes


D O - Y O U - P R E F E R'S

41. Flowers or angels? - wht the hell?
42. Gray or black? - Black.
43. Color or black and white photos? - Depends on the picture.
44. Lust or love? - love.
45. Sunrise or sunset? - I'm not up early enough for sunrises.
46. M&Ms or Skittles? -skittles!
48. Staying up late or waking up early? - Staying up way late.
49. Being hot or cold? -neither but rather hot then cold
50. Winter or Fall? - Fall cuz it aint as cold and no snow..i HATE snow!!
51. Left or right? - Right
52. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? - 2 best friends.
53. Sunshine or rain? - i dont know


M O R E - H A V E - Y O U - E V E R S

Slept in a bed with the opposite sex? - yeah.
Hooked up in the woods? lol no but i would wit my bubu
Stolen money from a friend? - nope
Slept naked? - Yes.
Been in a fist fight? - Yes.
Had a crush on a teacher? - yeah actually but in middle school.
Seen someone die? - no
Been on an airplane? - Love them, and airports.
Slept all day? - yeah
Missed someone so much it hurt? - yeah
Been lonely? -Who hasn't?
Cheated in a game? - Can't remember, probably have..lol.
Been to the ER? - yea
Been in a car accident? yeah.
Had detention? - Yes.
Cried yourself to sleep? - yes too many times.
Sung in the shower? - yes
Kissed a complete stranger? - That's alcohol for ya!but thats how i met my hunny bunny :)
Laughed so hard you cried? - Yes, .
Regretted hurting someone? - yeah
Regretted loving someone? - no.

I'm not gon beg you
I see you just aint actin right

Everytime I need someone to be there when I had me one of them crazy days
I aint gon beg you
Everytime I want someone to treat me like they always said they were gonna treat me like
I aint gon beg you

cause I let you slide before but I see you aint gon learn since you like to play with fire then I'ma let us burn aint nothin gon miss my lovin the last time was the last time
so I'm through with you


No I aint gon beg you no more
I'm sick and tired of waitin don't know what I'm waitin for
cause you know you don't treat me like you should when you know I'm the coldest thing about this hood
No I aint gon beg you no more
and If you're not down with this then baby theres the door
I'm usually not the type to just lay it down and quit
but lot of men would get with this so I aint gon beg you no more

Everytime I want to be wine and dined taken out on a Friday night to spend a little time
I aint gon beg you
And everytime I need some huggin and some lovin but its late and I don't get nothin
I aint gon beg you


Said I'm thorugh with being patient I aint here for you just to come and (take it when you wanna take it
you took it all for granted ooh all the good love and all that freaky stuff is all gone
thats how you i let me tell you this take your lame old tired excuses somewhere else
cause you weak and I dont wanna hear it stay away I dont wanna get near it cause boy im moving on and I



aint gon beg you to love me
aint gon beg you to hold me
aint gon beg you to pick me up and take me out
I aint gon beg you to ice me
I aint gon beg you to wife me
I aint gon beg you to do the things a real mans about
aint gon beg you to love me
aint gon beg you to hold me
aint gon beg you to pick me up and take me out
I aint gon beg you to ice me
I aint gon beg you to wife me
I aint gon beg you to go the things a real mans about

Dear God, give me courage,
for perhaps I lack it more than anything else.

I need courage before men against their threats
and against their seductions.

I need courage to bear unkindness,
mockery, contradiction.

I need courage to fight against the devil,
against terrors and troubles, temptations,
attractions, darkness and false lights,
against tears, depression, and above all fear.

I need Your help, dear God.

Strengthen me with Your love and Your grace.

Console me with Your blessed Presence
and grant me the courage to persevere
until I am with You forever in heaven.

Que se sabes tu de mi, no me hagas reír
Tu creías que eras imprescindible
pero sin tu amor no voy a morirme, baby
Que se sabes tu de mi, no me hagas reír
Me veras con otro hombre a mi lado
Ya lo ves traidor voy a sustituirte
A olvidar tu amor
ya me cure del dolor
Ya te saque de mi corazón
Vete con ella solos los dos
Pobre de ti, lárgate me das asco
Tu eres mi luz
Pero hay amores que matan de daño
Me canse de ti ya no soy aquella infeliz
Y se acaso piensas que esta vez voy a perdonar, ya veras
Que nunca mas me vuelves a engañar, ya lárgate

I don't know what it is that you've done to me...
but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way.
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing...
it's a feeling I don't understand.

'Cause my heart starts beating triple time,
with thoughts of loving you on my mind.
I can't figure out just what to do,
when the cause and cure is you.


I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.
I lose all control and something takes over me.
In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase.
I want you to stay with me, by my side.
I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.
It knocks me right off of my feet.
I can't explain why your loving makes me weak.

It's Time after time after time I've tried to fight it.
But your love is strong it keeps on holding on.
Resistance is down when you're around, starts fading.
In my condition I don't want to be alone.




I try hard to fight it.
No way can I deny it.
Your love's so sweet.
It knocks me off my feet.


I get so weak...
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak...
Boy it's something I can't explain.
I get so weak...
Something 'bout the way you do
the things you do ooh ooh, it...
knocks me right off of my feet,
off of my feet.
Can't explain why your loving makes me weak.

Chapter 1: Personal

Initials: caj
Middle name: ann
Birthday: march 27
Birth Place: us of a
Current location:forssa.
Height: 5'3" ish.
Hair length: long
Eye color: dark brown. "two espresso shots." hahaha.
Piercings: 5
Birthmarks: nada

Chapter 2: Family

Do you live with your parents: nope.
Do you get along with your parents? for the most part.
Are your parents married/separated/divorced? married
Do you have any siblings? one
What pets do you have? a dog. bubush and 2 cats

What are their names? whos names

Chapter 3: Favorites

City: new york city. hands down best place ever.
Season: summer
clothing brand: baby phat
Color:blk gold and pink
Number: 7

Chapter 4: Do You Â…

Sing in the shower? sometimes.
Write memos on your hand? if there is no paper readily available.
Call people back? most of the time. sometimes i forget.
Believe in love? yes.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? no if im by myself but me and hunyn haveour own sides..
Wear glasses or contacts? sometimes.

Chapter 5: Have You EverÂ…

Gone skinny dipping? yep.
Worn braces? yep
Broken a bone? yes.
Had stitches? yes.
Punched someone in the face? ha,
Skipped school? yes.
Taken painkillers? yup.
Gone SCUBA diving? snorkeling.
Been stung by a bee? yes.
Thrown up in a restaurant? yes

Been to overnight camp? yep.
Written a letter to Santa Claus? yessir.
Had detention? yes
Been sent to the principalÂ’s office? yes
Been called a bitch? yep.

Chaper 6: Who/What was the last..

Person to IM you? joahnnes .. my hunny
Person to call you? cathirna
Person you hugged? hunny
Person you tackled? uhh ...
Thing you touched? the keyboard.
Thing you ate? spaghettoi
Drank? iced tea.
Thing you said? ummm

40 RANDOM questions:

Last call recieved: didnt i just get asked this question?
Last call made: my hunny
Last text recieved from: jenni

CURRENT:

What channel is the tv on? nelonen
What song is playing: smitty died in your arms
Watching: nothing.

FAVORITE:

Type of pizza: pizza hut
College basketball team: univ of miam
Shirt that you own: umm i dunno
Warning: what? like the crazy ones on appliances ... there was one on our iron that said it is not such a great idea to iron your clothes while they're on your body. just an fyi ..

OTHER RANDOM:

Whats the time: 23 18
Whats the date: april 12.
Whats the day: thursday.
Do you own more than 5 tv sets: no
Do you own a toaster: yes.
Do you own a house with 2 floors?:no

WHAT DO U THINK OF WHEN I SAY

Cat: mouse.
Jump: in.
Love: bug.
Bed: pillow.
Food: fight.
Scratch and sniff: um, stickers.

What am I gonna do?
You know I miss you
You know I love you ma


Dear uncle, I know you're prowd your niece doing good
But I return it all for just one hug
Your oldest son and daughter they doing good
We all sticking together like we should
Introduce me to the lord when I have no kids
Mad at the world like life ain't fair
I remember you said only the lord I should fear
And with that my stormy weather would be clear
Lord how could you take somethin' so precious
Against our cares, prayers, and strong wishes
I know now unc you livin' through your kids
And if I look at my heart there you is
I can't believe that you're gone you was so important
My mother my father everything that I am
I love you, unc you's my guardian angel
I can't wait to see your face real soon


2006, I lost my sons
That day I felt I lost my unc
Victims of a still birth, man it still hurt
Until this day memories still lurk
I think to myself 'bout what could it been
It makes me realize that life is thin
And I promise that you'll always live on
And franks, dog I can't believe that you're gone
Can't believe I gotta menton your name on this
Seems like yesterday we was jokin' around
Always had a smile on your face, never a frown
You told me, "nena keep holdin' it down"
You got too much talent to be quittin' it now
So, cause of you I stayed in this game
I'ma make sure no one forgets your name Rest in peace franks

I still don't know how I got by
All of these hard times I took it and strive
Turn to the pad grab my pen
And said that "I would enjoy my life to the end
And no matter what, I keep my head up
Persue my dreams and never get fed up
So, when I hear this put up my fist
To let ya know that you'll always be miss


It took so long to write these stors
It's so dang hard to lode a love
I'm gon' stay strong and pray to the lord
Cause everything he does is for a cause
sandra, that was my dog
I won't forget those wild times in the hood
You won't be forgotten girl, that's for sure
Pour out a little liquor for all of ya

dedicate this one to my sons
Rest in peace I see you babies
dedicate this one to my uncle mort
I miss you
To my stones sandra and frank I knows you're watchin' my back
I always watch yours,