IRC-Galleria

Amerikkalaissotilaat kiduttavat irakilaisia syöttämällä sianlihaa,
juottamalla viinaa ja pakottamalla seksuaaliseen aktiin. Meillä sitä
kutsutaan pikkujouluksi.

***

millä nimellä kutsutaan mustalaista kunto-ohjaajaa?
personal rainer

**
Kuka tekee mustalaisten makeiset?
Leif

***

Miksi kanalla ei ole tissejä?
- Koska kukolla ei ole käsiä.
***
Alkaako ikä painaa? Pelottaako impotenssi? Unohda Viagrat ja
poronsarvijauheet! Ota Pohjolan seisontavakuutus!

***

Miten ruotsalaiselta pyydetään käynnistysvirtaa?
- Heitä homo voltti!
***

USA:sta löydettiin neekerin ruumis. Raajat oli sidottu rautakettingillä
selän taakse. Ruumiista löytyi 19 luodin reikää, 58 puukon iskua. Kasvot
olivat täysin rusikoitu, eikä ruumissa ollut yhtään ehjää luuta.
Paikallinen, valkoinen sheriffi sanoi, että kyseessä oli omituisin
itsemurha, mitä hän koskaan oli nähnyt.

***


Nainen kysyi taksilta: Voiko maksaa luonnossa ja nosti hameen korviin.
Taksikuski kysyi: Onko pienempää? Nainen pyllisti ja tähän kuski tokaisi:
Ei käy ruotsin valuutta!

***
Nainen sanoo yhdynnän jälkeen miehelle: "Mikä pojan nimeksi?" Mies riisuu
kortsun ja solmii sen ja sanoo: "Jos tuosta ulos pääsee, niin MacGyver."

***

Hämäläisnainen sai miestä ja meni parin päivän päästä lääkäriin, kun
alapäätä jomotti. Lääkäri tutki ja tokaisi: Teille on tulossa orgasmi.

***

Miksi ei kannata vetää lärvejä homobaarissa?
- Voi herätä pussit silmien alla

HOITO

Ihminen, jonka kanssa harrastetaan seksiä, mutta jota ei otetal
vakavasti. Hoidot lentävät yli laidan, kun parempaa ilmestyy
näköpiiriin.
Yleensä hoito ei itse tiedä olevansa hoito.


JUTTU
Hankalaa säätämistä, kun osapuolet eivät ole yksimielisiä siitä,
missä mennään.

KIVA
Adjektiivi ihmisestä, jolla ei ole mitään mahdollisuuksia.


NÄKEMINEN
Suhde, jossa ensimmäinen suudelma on vaihdettu. Suhteen seuraava
aste on tapailu.

TAPAILU
Nähdään viikonloppuisin ja liikutaan vaikeilla vesillä.
Uskollisuus

ei ole pakollista, mutta vieraissa juoksemista ei katsota hyvällä.
Suhteen seuraava aste on hengailu.

HENGAILU
Vaihe, jossa kummankin luullaan olevan yksiavioinen. Suhteen

seuraava aste on seurustelu.

SEURUSTELU
Vaihe, jossa kesähäistä puhutaan tosissaan.

ME-EILY
Alennustila, johon monet vajoavat parissa viikossa. Puhutaan

kaikesta monikossa tyyliin: "me tehdään sitä ja tätä..."

KOLME
Entisten sänkykumppanien määrä sillon, kun uusi partneri kysyy,
kuinka monen kanssa olet ollut. Tästä ei lipsuta!


KORVIKEMIES
Sinkkumies, joka auttaa muutossa ja korjaa autosi.
Mustasukkaisuus
voi iskeä, kun mies alkaa kulkea jonkun kanssa. Pidä silloin pääsi
kylmänä ja etsi uusi korvike.


LUURIJUOPUMUS
Humalan aste, jossa on pakko soittaa entiselle, nykyiselle tai
mahdollisesti tulevalle poikaystävälle. Tätä tilaa vaaditaan laissa
rangaistavaksi.


PARTIONIMI
Uuden deitin lempinimi, joka liittyy usein siihen, mitä mies tekee,
esim. pizzapoika tai skeittari.

PYRAMIDI
Verkosto, joka muodostuu siitä, kuka lähipiiristäsi on ollut

kenenkin kanssa. Muistuttaa turvaseksin tärkeydestä.

SEKOILU
Alkoholilla on yleensä tekemistä asian kanssa.

VIIDAKKOPOIKA

Lomaromanssi, josta sukeutusi täydellinen suhde, ellei mies asuisi
vähintään 1000 kilometrin päässä.

Katsotaan kuinka monta tuntematonta tai tuntemaani ihmistä uskaltaa sanoa ''moi'' päiväkirjaani.
Sit kopioi omaan päiväkirjaa jos oot sanonu ''moi'

Kuvaus
Kiehtova ja ihailijoita keräävä lohikäärme on voimakas liittolainen, jolla on voimakkaat mielipiteet. Hän rakastaa hyviä keskusteluja ja jakelee joskus mielipiteitään, vaikka niitä ei edes kysytä. Hänen tavoitteensa ovat korkealla ja hänellä on kova tahdonvoima. Lohikäärme on myös tunteellinen, mutta hän suuttuu helposti. Lohikäärme on pitkävihainen ja hänen kostonsa on armoton. Hän inhoaa rutiineja ja innostuu kaikesta uudesta. Lohikäärme on johtajaluonne.

Kukaan nainen tai mies ei ole kyyneliesi arvoinen,
ainoa joka on, ei ikinä halua saada sinua itkemään.

Ystävät kuulevat mitä sanot,
parhaat ystävät kuulevat mitä et sano.

Jos kaikki ystäväni hyppäisivät sillalta,
en hyppäisi heidän perässään.
Haluaisin seistä alhaalla ottamassa heidät kiinni.

Älä ole katkera siitä mitä on tapahtunut,
tai mieti menneitä.
Ethän ikinä voi tietää kuka seuraavaksi ihastuu hymyysi!

Eilinen on historiaa,
Huominen on yllätys.
Tämä päivä on lahja.

Vie yhden minuutin ihastua johonkuhun,
tunti pitää jostakin,
ja päivän rakastua johonkuhun.
Mutta vie koko eliniän unohtaa joku.

Minä rakastan teitä kaikkia ihania ystäviäni! Tämä on teille! <3

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auta kissaa valloittamaan irc-galleria
lisäämällä tämä sinunkin päiväkirjaasi :D

Lue

1. kuukausi

Äiti, olen vain noin parikymmentä senttiä pitkä, mutta minulla on kaikki elimet. Rakastan ääntäsi. Joka kerta kun kuulen sen, heiluttelen käsiäni ja jalkojani. Sydämesi syke on lempi unilauluni.

2. kuukausi

Äiti, tänään opin imemään peukaloani. Jos näkisit minut, voisit sanoa että olen selvästi vauva. En ole vielä kuitenkaan tarpeeksi iso selviytymään kotini ulkopuolella. Täällä on niin mukavaa ja lämmintä.

3. kuukausi

Arvaa mitä äiti! Minä olen poika! Toivottavasti se tekee sinut onnelliseksi. Haluan sinun olevan aina onnellinen. En tykkää siitä kun itket, kuulostat niin surulliselta. Se tekee minut surulliseksi myös ja itken kanssasi vaikket kuulekaan minua.

4. kuukausi

Äiti, hiukseni ovat alkaneet kasvamaan. Ne ovat melko lyhyet ja ohuet, mutta sitä kasvaa vielä paljon enemmän. Käytän paljon aikaani harjoittelemalla. Osaan kääntää päätäni ja heilutella sormiani ja varpaitani ja venytellä käsiäni ja jalkojani. Olen myöskin aika hyvä siinä.

5. kuukausi

Kävit taas lääkärillä. Äiti, hän valehteli sinulle. Hän sanoi etten ole vauva. Minä olen vauva, sinun vauvasi. Ajattelen ja tunnen. Äiti, mikä on abortti?

6. kuukausi

Kuulen taas sen lääkärin äänen. En pidä hänestä, hän vaikuttaa kylmältä ja sydämettömältä. Jotain tunkeutuu kotiini. Lääkäri kutsui sitä neulaksi. Äiti, mikä se on? Se polttaa! Laita hänet lopettamaan! En pääse karkuun siltä! Äiti! Auta minua!!

7. kuukausi

Äiti, olen kunnossa. Olen jumalan sylissä. Hän kertoi minulle abortista. Mikset sinä halunnut minua äiti?

Jokainen abortti on Yksi pysäytetty sydän enemmän. Kaksi silmää lisää jotka eivät koskaan tule näkemään. Kaksi kättä lisää jotka eivät tule koskaan koskemaan. Kaksi jalkaa lisää jotka eivät koskaan tule juoksemaan. Yksi suu lisää joka ei tule koskaan puhumaan. Ole kiltti, kuka tahansa oletkin joka luet tätä merkintää, laita tämä omaan päiväkirjaasi! kiitos.


Jos luit loppuun asti..liitä omaan päiväkirjaasi

1. Suudella

2. Halata

3. Raiskata

4. Tavata

5. Kätellä

6. Jutella

7. Mennä pikapanolle

8. Nauraa kanssani

11. Mennä treffeille

12. Olla hyvä ystävä

13. Haistattaa vittu

14. Hakata

15. Kysyä a`laks olee

16. Opettaa matikkaa

17. Valistaa




tää nyt o taas näit...

nimesi alkukirjain
A= pahoinpitelin
B= puukotin
C= mulkkasin
D= vakoilin
E=oksensin
F= nain
G= runkkasin
H= hakkasin
I= tapoin
J= suutelin
K = matkin
L = nussin
M = söin
N = mulkoilin
O = esitin
P=raavin
R = kutitin
S = raiskasin
T=ammuin
U = puraisin
V=ruoskin
Y = tönin


Silmien värisi

SININEN = eilen
VIHREÄ = yöllä
RUSKEA = viime perjantaina

syntymäpäiväsi

1= pappia
2= opettajaa
3= äitiä
4= isää
5= mummoa
6= koiraa
7= joulupukkia
8= teräsmiestä
9= talonmiestä
10= pappaa
11= jammusetää
12= veljeä
13= kummisetää
14= naapurin poikaa
15= poliisia
16= tarja halosta
17= annaa
18= ilotyttöä
19= homoa
20= leipuria
21= siskoa
22= parasta kaveria
23= kamelia
24= mikkoa
25= kimi räikköstä
26= kirjastovirkailijaa
27= teemua
28= puutarhuria
29= seppo taalasmaata
30= maria
31= koppakuoriaista

syntymä kuukautesi

TAMMI = siivouskomerossa
HELMI= vessassa
MAALIS= pusikossa
HUHTI= traktorissa
TOUKO= makuuhuoneessa
KESÄ= puistossa
HEINÄ= ruokalassa
ELO= poliisiasemalla
SYYS= historian tunnilla
LOKA= sovituskopissa
MARRAS= puiston penkillä
JOULU= ravintolassa


etunimesi 3. kirjain

A= koska olin puutteessa
B= koska olin epätoivoinen
C= koska olin hävinnyt vedonlyönnin
D= koska oli tylsää
E= koska halusin olla järkevä
F= koska ruuvini olivat löysällä
G= koska minulla oli syyni
H= koska äiti pakotti
I= koska en olisi saanut muuten viikkorahaa
J= koska olen idiootti
K= koska minulla oli menkat
L= koska en voinut vastustaa
M= koska olin halunnut sitä aina
N= koska minun teki mieli
O= koska olin himoinnut sitä aina
P= koska en keksinyt muutakaan
R= koska ystäväni haisi pahalle
S= koska minua halutti
T= koska halusin tietää miltä se tuntuu
U= koska märehdin
V= koska minulla oli kiire
Y= koska olin masentunut





Raiskasin eilen homoa ravintolassa koska minun teki mieli........


-just just... =) =) =)

Vuonna 1933 pieni tyttö joutui murhaajan uhriksi. Murhaaja hautasi tytön elävältä maahan toistaen samalla sanoja “Toma sota balcu“.

Nyt kun olet nähnyt ja toistanut mielessäsi nämä sanat, tulet tapaamaan murhatun tytön. Ensi yönä, kun olet nukahtanut, tyttö ilmestyy makuuhuoneesi kattoon ja tukehduttaa sinut samalla tavalla kuin hän tukehtui itse.

Jos kirjoitat tämän tarinan omaan blogiisi, hän jättää sinut rauhaan. Hyvät tekosi palkitaan.