IRC-Galleria

** On a SearsÂ’s hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee thatÂ’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

** On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

** On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be.. how??)

** On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!!)

** On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head (!!!)

** On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on the bottom of the box) -- Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

** On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure???)

** On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???)

** On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we just kept
those 5 year olds off those forklifts!)

** On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness
(One would hope!)

**On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

** On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor and outdoor use only.
(As supposed to outer space or underground.)

** On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmm, now IÂ’m curious)

** On SainsburyÂ’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(no comment)

** On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instruction: open packet, eat nuts.
(what is going on here?)

** On a _Swedish_ chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals!
(as if you try to stop *anything* with your genitals
—clearly my favorite on the list)

** On a childÂ’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly,
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)