IRC-Galleria

1: Mies joka tulee myöhään kännissä kotiin, yltympäri huulipunan jäljissä ja haisee naisen parfyymille, läpsäyttää vaimonsa takamukselle ja sanoo; "Sä oot sitten seuraava!"


2: Vaimo oli makuuhuoneessa sängyssä lukemassa kun hänen miehensä käveli makuuhuoneeseen lammas kainalossaan."Tässä on se lehmä, jonka kanssa harrastan seksiä kun sinulla on päänsärky." "Toi on kyllä lammas", vaimo kommentoi. "Mä puhun lampaalle", mies vastasi.


3: Mies huomaa vaimonsa pakkaavan matkalaukkunsa, joten kysyy "Mitä teet?"
Nainen vastaa: "Pakkaan tavaroitani ja muutan Lontooseen. Olen kuullut, että siellä maksetaan naisille 400 puntaa siitä mitä olen antanut sinulle ilmaiseksi" Myöhemmin kun nainen on lähdössä, hän huomaa että mies on myös pakannut matkalaukkunsa. Hän kysyy "Mihin sinä olet lähdössä?" Mies vastasi:
"Tulen mukaan Lontooseen. Haluan nähdä miten pärjäät 800 punnalla vuodessa."


4: Nainen oli ostoksilla paikallisessa S-marketissa ja poimi kauppakoriinsa
2 litraa maitoa, rasiallinen kananmunaa, 2 litraa tuoremehua, salaattia, tomaatteja ja kahvipaketin. Ulko-oven vieressä oli juoppo tarkkailemassa naista kun hän nosti tavarat kassan hihnalle. Hetken jälkeen juoppo lausui: "Oot varmaan sinkku."Nainen säikähti hieman, mutta häntä kiinnosti myös tietää miten juoppo oli voinut tietää hänen sosiaalistatuksensa, koska hän oli todellakin sinkku. Hän tarkasti ostoksensa, mutta ei voinut löytää niistä mitään merkkiä, mikä olisi voinut paljastaa häntä sinkuksi. Loppujen lopuksi hänen oli pakko myöntää juopolle: "Niin olen, mutta mistä tiesit?
-"Koska oot niin saatanan ruma."

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One more goddamn day when I know what I want
And my want will be considered tonight, considered tonight
Just another day when all that I want
Will mark me as a sinner tonight, I'm a sinner tonight, yeah

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten Thousand fists in the air

Power un-restrained dead on the mark
Is what we will deliver tonight, deliver tonight
Pleasure fused with pain this triumph of the soul
will make you shiver tonight, will make you shiver tonight, yeah

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten Thousand fists in the air

We are the ones that will open your mind
Leave the weak and the haunted behind [4x]

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
Ten Thousand fists in the air

Ten Thousand fists in the air
Ten Thousand fists in the air

As I walk through the valley
of the shadow of LA
The footsteps that were next to me
have gone their separate ways
I've seen enough now
to know that beautiful things
don't always stay that way
I've done enough now
to know this beautiful place
isn't everything they say

I heard that evil comes disguised
Like a city of angels
I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered
I'm delivered

(M. Shadows)
You're from a small town
you're gonna grow up fast
underneath these lights
Down in Hollywood on the boulevard
the dead come back to life
To the praying Mother
The worried Father

Let your children go
If they come back they'll come home stronger
and if they don't you'll know

They sing that evil comes disguised
Like a city of angels
I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered
I'm delivered

Baptized in the river (on my own)
Baptized in the river (on my own)
I wanna be delivered
(on my own)
(on my own)
Baptized in the river (on my own)
I wanna be delivered
Baptized in the river (on my own)
I wanna be delivered
Baptized in the river (on my own)
I wanna be delivered

I confess I'm a sinner
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered

Mies tuli kotiin töistä, laittoi tv:n päälle, istahti lempituoliinsa ja
sanoi vaimolleen, "Äkkiä, tuo minulle olut ennenkuin se alkaa"

Vaimo katsoi miestään hivenen hämmästyneenä, mutta toi hänelle oluen.

Juotuaan oluen, mies sanoi, "Äkkiä, tuo minulle toinen olut. Se alkaa
kohta!."

Tällä kertaa vaimo näytti hieman ärtyneeltä, mutta toi hänelle
kumminkin oluen.

Juotuaan tämänkin oluen, mies sanoi, "Äkkiä, tuo minulle vielä yksi
olut ennenkuin se alkaa."

"Nyt riitti!" Vaimo poltti päreensä, "Senkin paskiainen, tallustelet
sisälle kuin maailman omistaja, läsähdät tuoliisi etkä edes tervehdi
minua, ja oletat voivasi kohdella minua kuin orjaasi. Etkö ymmärrä että
minä kokkaan, siivoan, pesen ja silitän pyykkiä päivät pitkät?!"

Mies huokaisten, "Voi helvetti - nyt se alkoi."

Olemme tottuneet laittamaan syysväsymyksemme
milloin veren alhaisen rautapitoisuuden,
vitamiinien puutteen, laihduttamisen tai monen
muun asian syyksi. Nyt olen kuitenkin löytänyt
todellisen syyn. Olen väsynyt, koska olen ylityöllistetty!

Katsohan; maamme asukasluku on noin 5,1
miljoonaa, joista 2,2 miljoonaa on eläkkeellä.
Jäljelle jää 2,9 miljoonaa, joiden pitää tehdä työtä.

Maassaamme on 1,8 miljoonaa koulutettavaa, joten
jää 1,1 miljonaa, joiden on tehtävä työ.

Erilaisissa hallinnollisissa tehtävissä on 660
000 henkilöä, joten jää 440 000, joiden pitää tehdä työ.

Armeijan palveluksessa on 93 000 henkilöä, joten
jää 347 000, joiden on tehtävä työ.

Työttömänä on 300 000 henkilöä, joten jää 47 000, joiden on tehtävä työ.

Sairaaloissa on hoidettavana 43 000 henkilöä,
joten jää 4000 henkilöä, joiden on tehtävä työ.

Maamme vankiloihin on suljettuna 3998 henkilöä,
joten jää vain kaksi henkilöä, joiden on tehtävä työ, Sinä ja minä!

Ja sinä se vaan istut siellä vitsejä lukemassa!!!

ENKLIS

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FINIS
Sex festival

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Kuusijuhla
As you wish

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Persettäkö sä haluat
How many windows

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Koira meni ikkunasta
Passports, please

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Jättäkää urheilu väliin,kiitos
I'm just asking

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Olen vain persekuningas
Manicure

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Raha parantaa
Stoned date

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Humalainen taateli
I have been there

---

Minulla on papu siellä
I'll be back

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Aion olla selkä
God only knows

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Jumalan ainoa nenä
Can You sit, please

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Osaatko paskantaa, ole hyvä
Give me a break

---

Anna minulle jarru
To be or not to be?

---

Ampiaiselle vai ei?
Irish ale

---

Irlantilainen alennusmyynti
Do You feel allright?

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Tunnetko kaikki oikealta?
The spring begins in March--- Vieteri alkaa marssilla
I fell in love

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Kompastuin rakkauteen
Just in case

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Vain salkussa
Recycling

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Paluupyöräily
Hard disc operation

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Rankka tiskausoperaatio
Cold as Hell

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Kylmä perse hellalla
May God be with you

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Toukokuun hyvä mehiläinen kanssasi
Can't stand no longer

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Ei seiso ilman lonkeroa
Finnish people

---

Lopeta ihmiset
Carpet factory

---

Autolemmikkitehdas
Phone seller

---

Soita sellerille
Good products

---

Jumala ankkojen puolella
One cold beer

---

Muuan kultakarhu
Sun is shining

---

Poika kiillottaa
Mix your drink

---

Miksi ryyppäät?
Nobody here

---

Yksikään ruumis ei kuule
Holy Bible

---

Reikäinen pippeli
How many plums?

---

Koira meni uimaan
Watch the bell

---

mitä kello on
Body building

---

ruumishuone
By the way

---

Osta tie

Nää kannattaa muistaa ku juttelee turisteille =)

As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me
If you want to be a hero well just follow me

Nuori perhe muutti uuteen taloon jonka naapurissa
oli vapaa tontti. Yhtenä päivänä Armas Puolimatka
ja joukko rakennusmiehiä saapui ja aloitti rakennustyöt tyhjälle tontille.

Perheen 5-vuotias tytär luonnollisesti kiinnostui
naapurissa olevasta rakennustyömaasta ja alkoi
juttelemaan työmiesten kanssa. Tyttö pyöri
rakennuksella ja lopulta työmiehet, joilla
kaikilla oli kultainen sydän, enemmän tai
vähemmän adoptoivat tytön jonkinlaiseksi maskotikseen.

Juttelivat tytölle, antoivat tytön istua kanssaan
kahvi- ja ruokatauoilla, ja antoivat tälle pieniä
tehtäviä jotta tämä tuntisi itsensä tärkeäksi.

Ja viikon päätteeksi, perjantaina, antoivat tälle
kirjekuoren, jossa oli 3 euroa 10 sentin
kolikoina. Ikään kuin "palkkapussiksi".

Tyttö vei "palkkapussinsa" kotiin, jossa hänen
äitinsä ehdotti, että työstä ansaitut rahat
vietäisiin pankkiin, ja perustettaisiin samalla tytölle säästötili.

Pankkineiti kuunteli ihmeissään tytön kertoessa
"työstään" rakennuksilla, ja että hän oli todella saanut "palkkapussin".

"Sinun on täytynyt todella työskennellä kovasti
saadaksesi näin paljon palkkaa!" sanoi
pankkineiti. Johon tyttö ylpeänä vastasi,
"Työskentelin koko viikon työmiesten kanssa rakentaessamme sitä isoa taloa."

"Hyvänen aika" pankkineiti sanoi, "menetkö
tälläkin viikolla rakennukselle töihin?"
Pikkutyttö mietti hetken ja vastasi sitten,
"Kyllä varmaan. Mikäli ne rakennustukun runkkarit
toimittavat ne vitun tiilet ajoissa."