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Fox_FaTC

Fox_FaTC

Lähes raitis taikuri

HuohSunnuntai 30.08.2009 15:28

Miksi edes juoda viinaa kun se ei ole kivaa...

Viikolla olis paljon hauskempi kitata muttei koulun takia voi ja viikonloput on muuten vaan persiistä.

Byebye Guitar HeroMaanantai 24.08.2009 16:47

Joutuu palauttamaan konsolin ja kitarat takaisin työnantajalle, eli ei enää Guitar Heroa :´(

Textsfromlastnight.comTorstai 20.08.2009 18:18

Parhaita paloja,



(203): There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
(860): Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head


(913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.


(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...


(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.


(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.


(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow


(813): I'm fucking your sister right now.
(1-813): You motherfucker
(813): She's next.


(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.


(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss


(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.


(347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him


(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.


(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart


(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.


(908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers


(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. IÂ’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.


(425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.


(248): Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?


(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.


(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom


(916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?


(704 ): I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is


(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven


(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.


(469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...


(757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"


(562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.


(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
(1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.


(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss


(519): and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

TylsääMaanantai 17.08.2009 01:18

Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 3

Level 2
(/) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
(x) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 6½

Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 8½

Level 4
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Furaffinity Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 10½

Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 12½

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 16½

Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
( ) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 18½

Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO far: 23½

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 24½

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 28½

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention (At school)
(/) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 31

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR : 33

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
( ) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 35

Level 15
( ) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 37

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 41

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 45

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere
SO FAR: 48

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 49

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 50

Level 21
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cubes
( ) Kicked A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
( ) Sat On A Roof Top and watched the stars
SO FAR: 51

Level 22
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
( ) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 53

Level 23
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 56

Level 24
(x) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
(x) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 58

Level 25
( ) Played Chinese Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 60

Level 26
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 62

Level 27
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 65

Level 28
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 67

Level 22
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 71

Level 30
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 72

TäydellistäTorstai 13.08.2009 01:52

Täydellinen naisen maanantaipäivä:
8:15 Herätys halailuin ja suukoin
8:30 Huomaat painavasi 2 kg vähemmän kuin eilen
8:45 Aamiainen vuoteessa, tuoretta appelsiinimehua ja
croissanteja....avaat lahjan...kallis koru huomaavaiselta partnerilta
9:15 Rauhoittava kylpy ja ylellistä kylpyöljyä
10:00 Kevyt salitreeni klubilla seksikkään ja hauskan personal trainerin
kanssa
10:30 Kasvohoito, manikyyri, meikkaus ja hiustenpesu
12:00 Lounas parhaan ystävättären kanssa muodikkaassa ulkoilmakahvilassa
12:45 Huomaatte ystävättären exän ja näette että hän on lihonut 15 kg
13:00 Shoppailua ystävättärien kanssa, rajaton luotto
15:00 Nokoset
16:00 Kolme tusinaa ruusua kukkakaupan toimittamana, kortissa 'salaiselta
ihailijalta'
16:20 Voimakkaan mutta hellän komistuksen antama hieronta; hän sanoo että
harvoin saa hieroa näin täydellistä vartaloa.
17:30 Asun valinta kalliin muotisuunnittelijan myymälästä
19:30 Kynttiläillallinen kahdelle ja tanssia, saat kohteliaisuuksia muilta
ruokailijoilta ja tanssijoilta
22:00 Kuuma suihku--yksin
22:40 Sinut kannetaan sänkyyn; vasta silitettyjen, valkoisten lakanoiden
väliin
23:00 Sänkyjutustelua, kevyttä koskettelua ja hellittelyä
23:20 Nukahdat hänen isoille, vahvoille käsivarsilleen



Täydellinen miehen maanantaipäivä:
6:00 Herätys
6:15 SEKSIÄ ts."kylkimyyryä" kivan "kissan" kanssa
6:30 Valtava, nautinnollinen aamupaska selaillen samalla urheilusivut
7:00 Aamiainen; pihvi ja munia, kahvia, paahtoleipää.Kokkina alaston ja
isotissinen neitonen joka kumartelee paljon
7:30 Limusiini saapuu
7:45 Useita olusia matkalla lentokentälle
9:15 Lento yksityisellä suihkukoneella
9:30 Limusiini kalliille golf-klubille; matkalla seksiä ts. tytteli
soittaa "klarinettia"
9:45 Yhdeksän ensimmäistä reikää; kaksi alle parin
11:45 Lounas; pihvi ja hummeria, kolme olutta ja pullo Dom Perignonia
12:15 SEKSIÄ ts. ensin "A-rappuun" ja sitten "B-rappuun" och samma på
svenska "först B-trappan och sen B-trappan"
12:30 Yhdeksän viimeistä reikää; 4 alle parin
14:15 limusiini takaisin lentokentälle; muutama viski
14:30 Lento Bahamalle
15:30 Iltapäivän kalastusretki alastoman naismiehistön kanssa jotka kaikki
kumartelevat paljon
16:30 Ennätyssuuri kala
17:00 Lento kotiin; hieronta ja pienen siron lentoemännän kanssa pikapano
18:45 Iltakakka, suihku ja parranajo
19:00 Uutiset televisiosta; Michael Jackson salamurhattu
19:30 Päivällinen; Herkullinen pihvi, Dom Perignon(1953) jälkiruoaksi
jäätelöä tarjoiltuna isoilta tisseiltä
21:30 Seksiä kolmen, lesbouteen kevyesti vivahtavan naisen kanssa
23:00 Hieronta ja porekylpy maukkaiden pizza-snacksien ja puhdistavan
oluen kanssa
23:30 Yömyssy ja rauhoittavaa seksihyväilyä
23:45 Sängyssä, yksin ts. "hanskapartio"
23:50 23-sekuntia kestävä pieru joka vaihtaa sävelkorkeutta 4-5 kertaa ja
pakottaa koiran lähtemään huoneesta
23:53 Naurahdat itsesi syvään uneen

Taikuri- ja pelinhoitaja-RikuKeskiviikko 12.08.2009 01:48

...Mutta samaan aikaan tuo ei kyllä onnistu..

Tarvis siis jostain tuuraajaa jakamaan pokeria torstaina Launialan Grillibaarille. Itsellä on keikka samaan aikaan...

Fuckin' tuplabuukkaukset...

Synttäri-RikuTiistai 11.08.2009 03:35

Kiitos kaikille onnittelijoille, en varmaankaan jaksa kaikille erikseen sitä kiittää.

Vanhus-RikuLauantai 08.08.2009 07:45

Juhlin huomenna 22v merkkipäiviä, oikeana syntymäpäivänä ei oikein pysty. Zäkissä siis tampataan ja humallutaan.

Turisti-RikuSunnuntai 02.08.2009 19:41

Palasin siis juuri Mikkeliin, hullu viikko takana ja hengissä ollaan. Kiitoksia kaikille!