IRC-Galleria

Return, Autumn

I can see. I'm not blind.
The sun shines brightly into my eyes.
But, not all that is supposed to be seen,
Can be seen with eyes, really.

So in a way, I am blind. I was blind.
No, I still am. I know it. I admit it.
I do nothing about it.

I can't do it.

I did not see your lies.
The way you have been,
lying to me, truly.

It is summer now. And I want to die.
It cannot be. It was all really a lie.
How can it be?
It can't happen to me.

Not to me.

The truth hit me hard. It did.
I'm alone.

How did I trust you. How much I did.
Now it is all gone.

Oh god, I can't forget.

It is summer now. And I want to die.
All is gone, I can't defy.
Why?

I can't forget.

Time goes by. Soon I see.
The leaves fly. Can it be?
It is autumn.

I don't think I can forget.

Time went by, slowly, I say.
But truly, it is a new day.
It is autumn.

Could I forget?

This weird feeling.
You have been gone for ages.
Now I see.
You are not coming back.

It.. does not hurt anymore.
Not as much.
As before.

I take a glance at the cold sun.
It does not hurt my eyes.
I can see the world clearly now.
I... I...

I found happiness in me again.
The joy, the light.
Funny.
Light, in the darkness of autumn.

I am free. Free from... you.

I think I can now forget.

Autumn, I thank thee.
Gave me a new life, thy did.
Without thee, I wouldn't be here.
Not anymore.

I can now forget.

Winter went by,
I was happy.
Spring went by as well.
I was happy, anyone could tell.

Without you, my life has been better.

I... think I can now forget.

Then

Summer came.
The feeling came.
It came back.

I saw you. The memory. Oh no.
I... I have to let you go.

Then

You notice me.
You come to me.
You talk to me.
You smile to me.
You look at me.

Mistake.

I looked back at you.
I smiled back at you.
I talked back at you.
I gave myself to you.

Mistake.

Again.

The pain. It's back. I knew it.
I couldn't let you go.

I can't forget.

Where is my freedom now?
Why did I not hold on to it?
Who am I to blame,
but myself?

No one.

Summer went. I was miserable.
I wanted to die.
You went away, again.
What else could I expect?

I did trust you, again.
You broke my heart, again.
You went away, again.
What else could I expect?

I can't forget.

The sun, it is cold again, I see.
The leaves, they are falling again, I see.
Could it be? Again?

It is Autumn now. And I want to die.
The autumn I remember made me happy.
This Autumn... it does not.

It is my fault. I can't forget.
I take a look at the sky.
I look further.
Try to find a friend. Find you.

Anyone. Please.
No.
Just you.

It does not matter how far I look.
I am alone.
I am sad.
I want to die.
Again.

You do this to me.

No.

I do it. I, myself.

Autumn. I will try again.
I rise my chin,
fake a grin.

I will try.

I will rise.
I can fight.

My autumn is not of sadness.
It is of happiness.

Return, Autumn.
As thy were.
I miss thee.
More than... her.