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I feel like a dream is coming true. I feel full of hope, I really feel joy for the very first time in ages...

Is it real, could it be a lie I questioned. What if it was another sick game...

I asked from the sky and it gave me a shooting star, oh how I cried for the moment. It's like I would've been given the sparkle of life back in to my heart.

Now I finally think I got it. What my worst nightmares have told me.

It isn't like dying for real. But those have made me see... It has been kindofa shock therapy created by my own mind. Just to make me realize that as my father died. My image died too.

I followed him as much as I could, I wanted to live up to him, make him proud. Since he decided to suicide. All my goals died. I wanted to live the way he pointed me. But since he died. No way he can point me a way again.

All what he taught, all what he believed in, I believed in. Everything to zero.

All those nightmares, all this suffering just to realize the old me. Literally died. The old me, doesn't exist anymore.

Kyllä minä tykkään olla avoin kirja ja levitä silmille samantien.

En pidä salailusta tai piilottelusta ellei kyse ole privaatista asiasta.

Hyvin rauhallinen, suorasukainen ja hiljainen tapaus. Seuraan, keskustelen, neuvon ennemmin kuin johdan. Vastaan parhaani mukaan kun kysytään.

Tavallaan annan avaimet elämääni hopealautasella ja katson samantien luottaakko vai ei. Offense is the best defense.

Hi

Hi

How's you

Good

You

Good too

So what about

Yea it was [insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here][insert random story of the day here] and yea I feel great. How about yours?

*Denied*

Wtf did I do wrong again?

Lopputunnari. Ota se, toista niin monta kertaa kahen tunnin aikana kun vaan voit. Sekoa.


TULI JUMALAUTA SELVÄKSI, ON HERTAN MAAILMA!!!!!!!!!



Saatana............... -_-'

Yea it was hard getting any sleep.

+ I had a nightmare. Bleagh better try to forget it. That was gross...

I don't know what in the hell is this feeling tonight. All of sudden I just felt sick. Totally bad, head just started tingling and feels like my guts would be thrown insideout. Wrists feeling stiff and numb like they were cut.
I drool like as if I was about to throw up. Something stuck in my throat. Feels like my nose would bleed.

It's not that I would've done anything abnormal. Just feeling purely shit. A total shutdown. Ahh hell... I hope I can sleep tonight...

It was fascinating thus I've never felt like that before, I was half full of joy and hope yet half of me cried. I felt so lonely, so lovesick, so sad. And other half felt at ease, smiling, happy for my cat came to slap me in the face because it wanted attention.

Feeling those 2 sides at the same time. I felt enlightened. It sounds bad, but it was kinda 1st night I felt at ease in my heart.


I don't know whether this had anything to do with my dreams since I sometimes see glimpses of the future. Then when I live through those certain moments I feel like getting kicked to the head. This time I fell on the ground and felt I couldn't rise. It's like having signal lost on TV, all black and white fuzz. Usually these dreams are hectic when there's something important to happen. Worst thing is. Usually it's just that I have to wait... Rarely I see the decisive points. I wonder if I'll see my death like that when my time is about to end. Seems like not yet for a long time.

Olin vain satunnaisesti selailemassa ja... No... Se sattui... :<

Nyt tiedän ministi miltä Frodosta tuntui Sormusten Herrassa.

Kävelin 3 km ees taas vain hakeakseni paperin joka pitikin sitten tulla kotiin täyttämään kun ei ollut kaikkea tarvittavaa infoa matkassa.

Frodollahan tämä ketutus on huomattavasti enemmän FFFF***** luokkaa koska hänen piti puoli maailmaa taivaltaa heittääkseen yhden ***** sormuksen johonkin tiettyyn ******** tulivuoreen.