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Karoliina_Punk

Karoliina_Punk

Dreams don't come true on their own

Time Is Running OutMaanantai 09.03.2009 23:32

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbckgdxlBm4

This song has been following me like a ghost. I heard it last night at a bar and not knowing whose song it was and not capturing a single word of it, I would probably have forgotten about it, if I hadn't found out that Lovex had covered it (I even was at that gig, but this song doesn't belong among the three moments that I remember from the show). I've searched for it at Youtube and have to listen to it all afternoon and it won't go out of my head.
What is even more weird, it reminds me of the dream I had last night, no idea why. I might have heard the song in it, who knows. But the feeling that the song calls out feels so good that I'm feeling even guitly for that (yes, from the stylistical point of view this sentence sucks, I know..). But I just can't help it. As if I was drug-addicted. (yes- I know nothing about being drug-addicted, but this is something I've never felt before and I just don't know where to put it)
I keep calling the dream weird, but in fact it was more than pleasant. Another thing I'm feeling kind of guilty for, even though there's no sane reason for that (I'm talking as if all of my reasons for everything ever weren't insane). It felt more than good, but the person that made everything feel good was not the one who should be there, or to be more precise not the one who I'd like to be there. My mind is screaming out something I'm still trying to deny.
I'll have to admit that, sooner or later, but I don't want to admit that yet. Not before things get clear enough. I know my mind is the one who knows what's the best for me, but stubborn as I am, I won't listen to her. I don't want to let her win over now, I want things to go my way, even though I feel it won't make me happy. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I guess all I can do is to wait and watch. I don't want to let go yet. It will come, but I think there's time for it. Nothing for now. Just watch.

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