IRC-Galleria

1. Pysyt vireänä!
Aivosi saavat kaivattua liikuntaa, koska tavarat eivät milloinkaan ole
siellä, minne ne laitoit, vaan haastavasti hyvinkin luovissa
piilopaikoissa. Lehtiroskista ei kannata tyhjentää ennen kuin on ottanut
lompakkonsa sieltä pois.

2. Tajuntasi laajenee.
Koskaan aiemmin ei mieleesi olisi tullut katsoa tai puolella korvalla
kuunnella 1457 kertaa samaa elokuvaa tai TV-ohjelmaa, mutta Muumilakson
tarinoiden kohdalla se ei tuota ongelmia.

3. Opit erikoistaitoja.
Esimerkiksi pizzan tekeminen yhdellä kädellä ei ole pikkuvauvan
vanhemmalle
temppu eikä mikään. Erityisen hienoa on bravuuri, kuinka juusto raastetaan
lapsi sylissä.

4. Opit sosiaaliseksi!
Sinun ei tarvitse käydä yksin edes vessassa.

5. Saat uuden sisustuksen.
Kun ennen keittiösi pöydän alla ei ollut mitään, nykyään siellä on 3- 5
kiloa erilaisia ruuantähteitä, eikä auta, vaikka imuroisit 2 kertaa
tunnissa. Pöytä erittää murusia. Sitä mukaa kun siivoat kaksiosi
länsisiipeä, itäsiipi alkaa täyttyä erilaisista traktoreista,
kaulahuiveista, kattiloista, lehdistä, kirjoista ja ylipäätään kaikesta,
mitä ei ole ruuvattu kiinni.

6. Olet aina sen näköinen kuin olisit lähdössä lomalle.
Vauvan kanssa tarvitset tunnin kyläreissulle kutakuinkin yhtä paljon
tavaroita kuin normaalille kahden viikon etelänlomalle.

7. Elämäsi muuttuu seikkailuksi.
On jännää huomata, kuinka tyynesti pystyt suhtautumaan siihen, että heräät
keskellä yötä jalkopäähän piilotetun leikkipaloauton sireenin ääneen

8. Opit kommandoksi.
Pystyt toimimaan niin hiljaa ja taitavasti, että onnistut riisumaan
nukkuvan ihmisen ja vaihtamaan hänelle vaipat, pukemaan hanskat, haalarit,
sukat ja kengät sekä siirtämään hänet paikasta A paikaan B - ilman että
hän
herää.

9. Saat extreme-elämyksiä halvalla.
Base-hyppy ei ole mitään verratuna siihen, jos saat juoda kokonaisen
kahvikupillisen rauhassa. Et kylläkään saa.

10. Elämä tuntuu pitkältä.
Yksinkertaisiinkin asioihin kuten lähtemiseen saat helposti menemään hyvin
piiiiitkän tunnin.

11. Maailma muuttuu jännittäväksi.
Samaistut James Bondiin, sillä sinunkin elinympäristösi on täynnä
kuolemanvaaroja: tuoleja, joille voi kiivetä, legoja ja peukalonpään
kokonaisia ruoka-aineita, joihin voi tukehtua sekä ylisummaan kaikkea
mahdollista, mihin ylettyy - ja kaikkeen ylettyy.

12. Koet enemmän ihmeitä kuin opetuslapset.
Kuten että on täysin mahdollista tunkea molemmat jalat tuoliin
selkänojapinnojen välistä, vaikka jalka on puolet paksumpi kuin pinnojen
väli, tai ettei ole temppu eikä mikään tunkea nenään herne, vaikka sierain
on niin pieni ettei sieltä pääse edes räkä valumaan esteettä, mikä estää
nukkumisen. Siis sinun nukkumisen.

1. Miehet ovat kuin... laksatiiveja: ne ärsyttävät kaiken paskan ulos Sinusta.

2. Miehet ovat kuin.. banaaneja: mitä vanhemmaksi ne tulevat, sen vähemmän kiinteitä ne ovat.

3. Miehet ovat kuin... sää: et voi tehdä mitään muuttaaksesi sitä.

4. Miehet ovat kuin.. sekoittimia: tarvitset yhden, muttet ole aivan varma, miksi.

5. Miehet ovat kuin.. suklaapatukoita: makeita, pehmeitä ja yleensä menossa suoraan lantiollesi.

6. Miehet ovat kuin... mainoksia: et voi uskoa sanaakaan siitä, mitä ne sanovat.

7. Miehet ovat kuin...hallituskumppanuuksia: niiden kypsyminen kestää niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin pitkään.

8. Miehet ovat kuin.. ripsiväri: juoksevat yleensä karkuun ensimmäisen tunteenpurkauksen jälkeen.

9. Miehet ovat kuin.. popcornit: ne saavat Sinut kylläiseksi, mutta vain hetkeksi.

10. Miehet ovat kuin.. parkkipaikat: kaikki hyvät on varattu ja loput ovat invoja.

11. Miehet ovat kuin... laavalamput: hauskoja katsella, mutta eivät kovin kirkkaita.

12. Miehet ovat kuin.. lumimyrsky: et koskaan tiedä, milloin ne ovat tulossa, kuinka monta senttiä saat, tai kuinka kauan se kestää.

Näin kulutan aikaa
maatessani alla tämän taivaan
josta pilvet tekevät harmaan
sen tiedän, varmaan takana sinisten
silmieni päätäni vaivaan
alla tämän taivaan
kun kuluttelen aikaa, kun kuluttelen aikaa

Ja mä poltan tupakan ja sitten toisen tupakan
ja sitten mietin; josko soittaisin jollekin
ei kukaan soita minulle, soittaisinko sinulle
kun et kuitenkaan pääsisi tulemaan
ja makaan selälläni, minun kelloni raksuttaa
pikkuhiljaa naksuttaa
Olen yksin tämän perjantain,
vietän yksin tämän perjantain,
tämän pitkän perjantain

Takana sinisten
silmieni tiedän värin taivaan
sillä päätä vaivaan,
tiedän värin taivaan,
tiedän värin taivaan

Päivä illaksi muuttuu,
pelkään että kelloni puuttuu,
itsekseen ajan kulkuun suuttuu
Lakkaa lyömästä,
sitten syömästä aikaa pois
ei riitä että jätättää minut perjantaihin
jättää, loputtomaan perjantaihin
jättää, loputtomaan perjantaihin

Ja mä poltan tupakan ja sitten toisen tupakan
ja sitten mietin; josko soittaisin jollekin
ei kukaan soita minulle, soittaisinko sinulle
kun et kuitenkaan pääsisi tulemaan
ja makaan selälläni, minun kelloni raksuttaa
pikkuhiljaa naksuttaa
Olen yksin tämän perjantain,
vietän yksin tämän perjantain,
tämän pitkän perjantain

Takana sinisten
silmieni tiedän värin taivaan
sillä päätä vaivaan,

Tiedän värin taivaan

'Minulla oli loppuviikosta varattuna aika gynekologille.
Varhain aamulla sain vastaanotolta puhelinsoiton ja kerrottiin, että nyt
aamuksi olisi peruutusaika klo 9.30 . Otin sen.

Olin juuri saanut kaikki perheenjäsenet lähetettyä töihin ja kouluun,kun
huomasin, että kello on jo 8.45. Matka lääkärille kestäisi noin 35
minuuttia, joten yhtään ylimääräistä aikaa ei ollut.

Kuten yleensä kaikki naiset mennessään gynekologille, otan hygienia-asiat
hieman tarkemmin huomioon, mutta tällä kerralla en voinut käyttää siihen
kovin paljon aikaa. Ryntäsin portaat ylös, heitin pyjaman nurkkaan ja
kastelin pesualtaan reunalla olevan pesukintaan ja pesaisin 'alakerran'
pikaisesti varmistaen, että olisin jotakuinkin 'näyttökunnossa'. Viskaisin
pesukintaan pyykkikoppaan, puin kiireesti jotain päälleni, hyppäsin
autooni ja ajoin vastaanotolle.

Jouduin odottamaan vuoroani hetken aikaa ennen kuin minut kutsuttiin
sisään. Tietäen toimintatavan, kuten varmasti sinäkin, hyppäsin pöydälle,
katselin huoneen toiselle puolelle ja kuvittelin olevani Pariisissa tai
jossain muussa upeassa paikassa tuhansien kilometrien päässä.

Hämmästyin hieman lääkärin sanoessa: 'Hyvänen aika sentään, sitä ollaan
sitten nähty ekstravaivaa, vai mitä?' En vastannut mitään.

Vastaanoton jälkeen huokaisin helpotuksesta ja menin kotiin. Loppupäivä
kului normaaliin tahtiin, kaupassakäyntiä, siivousta, ruoanlaittoa jne.

Eskarissa oleva kuusivuotias tyttäreni oli huoneessaan leikkimässä.
Yhtäkkiä hän huusi kylpyhuoneesta: 'Äiti, missä mun peskukinnas on?'
Käskin hänen ottaa puhtaan kaapista.

Hän parkaisii: 'Ei!!!' Hän huusi:' Mä tarviin sen, joka oli tässä altaan
reunalla. Siinä oli kaikki mun kimalteet ja hileet säästössä

musta tuli täti 51 cm ja 3700 kg kokoselle tyttö vaaville
onnea siskosein

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auta kissaa valloittamaan irc-galleria
lisäämällä tämä sinunkin päiväkirjaasi :D

en tiä onko tää teistä hauskaa mut mä nauroin kymmene minsaa keittiön lattialla.. (voi johtua tietysti jonkinlaisesta kohtauksesta) istuin ensin ihan jumissa olkkarissa koneella ku sit lähdin keittiöstä hakee juomaa.. mulla oli kuullokkeet päässä missä 3metrin johto ja unohdin ne päähäni ku nousin.. siinä sitte ku olin olkkarin toisessa laidassa ni nää nappikuulokkeet irtos mun päästä ja melkee kaaduin samalla selälleni.. oli jengillä ihmettelemistä sohvalla

jääpää ja jne... =)

When the sun shines
WeÂ’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella

So i chose, huh
You got a phone,
Pick it up and call me

How come, we don't even talk no mo',
And you don't even call no mo',
We don't barely keep in touch at all,
And I don't even feel the same love when we hug no mo',
And I heard it through the grape vine we even beefin' now,
After all the years we've been down,
Ain't no way, no how,
This bullshit can't be true,
We family, aint a damn thing change unless it's you