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Galtsu fakeTorstai 15.05.2008 16:31

15.05.08 13:12 <Akion> eihän nois sun kuvissa oo ees sama henkilö
15.05.08 13:13 <Marjana> kyllä se mun mielestä sama henkilö kyllä on:D
15.05.08 13:14 <Akion> sitte toinen kumma juttu on kans se että kaikki sun kommentit on joltai vitun randomeilt amispilluhaukoilta, tai sitte muijilta ketä oot kehunu kauniiks :D
15.05.08 13:17 <Marjana> Kyllä mulla frendejä on:D
15.05.08 13:19 <Akion> jos haluut todistaa että oot toi henkilö niin sitte voit varmaanki ottaa kuvan ittestäs galtsu näytössä sun takanas ja pistää sen tänne
15.05.08 13:22 <Marjana> Venaa 5 min

User har disappeared from lé database :D
We usually don’t write many personal pieces here on TEB, but I just have to share the story of my wife playing GTA IV for the first time. I want to make a couple things clear before I start this absurd story. 1. I love girl gamers. I think its awesome when girls get really into video games and break stereotypes by whooping ass in COD4 or GTA IV multiplayer. I’m not trying to hate on girl gamers. 2. I love my wife and she is very understanding of my video game obsession.

Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.

As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, “After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?” She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, “You wanna drive around for a bit?” She replied, “Sure, why not.” During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.

I was in some shitty coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that’s when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled “Why does my guy keep ducking??” I yelled “Click the left-stick” repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said “Awww, that’s not nice, he learned his lesson.” He learned his lesson indeed.

After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself “This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, “Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules.” Yeah, because THAT’S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?

My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to “check and see if she is ok.” I’m not making this shit up. I asked my wife, “What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?” to which she replied, “Can you do that in this game?” Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)

After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City’s finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled “Stop! Stop! You’re being like that kid from Virginia Tech!” Seriously, I’m not making this shit up. Chalk one up for Jack-fucking-Thompson.

Kirjoittanut: Jeremy @ http://theexplodingbarrel.com/?p=181

[Ei aihetta]Sunnuntai 27.04.2008 17:09

----Oheinen 'lukihärö on vakaa vaasia' lista on kielenkääntäjien yhdistyksen postituslistalta poimittu.

ILMOITUKSIA, JOITA NÄHTY KAUPASSA:
- Gogacolaa, 1,5l pullo
- Mämmiä saatana! (saatavana) mainos kaupan ikkunassa
- Mansi- ja mustikoita (aivan huippu!)
- Äidinpakastus pusseja
- Roilerinleike
- Naistennahka hanskat
- Kodinkoneliike mainostaa:
Pakastinarkku ja ruhonleikkaaja
- lasten päästä vedettävä sänky
- Abbelsiineja
- Joulukusimyynti
- Mahdolliset puutteet ja virheet hinnassa huomioitu
- Tamppoonitarjous, koot mini, maxi ja meedio
- Äitiys-hortsit
- Kissanliha pullia
- Torin kalamyyjä mainostaa: Tuoretta mulkkua (muikkua)
- Torin kahvilanpitäjä mainostaa: Luteeton piirakka (Gluteeniton)
- Mainos tienvarressa: "Poikkeaville kukkia"
RAVINTOLA- JA KAHVILASANASTOA:
- Kasvisgranaatti (gratiini)
- Reindeer Balls (Poron pallit!! Eli siis lihapullia haettu)
- Mummonliha pullia lapsille
- Välilihapihivi (välikyljyspihvi)
- Pitsalaissi ja cocis (pizza slice)
- pitsa-clisee (pizza slice)
- Jättipäivän pizza (Päivän jättipizza)
- Ilmoitus turkkilaisten ravintolan ikkunassa: "Sulettu, ei kanata!"
KOULUN RUOKALASSA:
- Ruohoripuliperunoita
- Paistettua tuskaa (turskaa)
- Kalaa ja vakokastiketta
MAINOKSIA LEHDISTÄ, TV:stä
- Kuolinilmoitus lehdessä: Syvästi kaivaen, lastenlastenlapaset
- Lehti: "Lindhin murhasta pidätettyä vartioidaan itsemurhan ehkäisemisen välttämiseksi"
- Asuntoilmoitus: 3 huonetta, keittiö, kakkahuone ja kylpyhuone (olisiko kuitenkin takkahuone...)
- TV: "Kursk edelleen merenpohjassa. Ankkureina Leena Kaskela ja Urpo Martikainen."
- Lehden otsikko: "Siniristipillumme liehuivat itsenäisyyspäivänä"
- Mainos lehdessä: "Yllätä vaimosi, lähde matkalle!"
- Lehden kuvateksti: "Timo TA Mikkonen ja hänen perseensä" (Perheensä)
- Mainos TV:ssä (Mummot ja papat siemailevat kahvia puutarhassa): "Päättäkää päivänne K-kaupan kahvilla!"

Everything I know about women:Lauantai 26.04.2008 19:36

1 Ignore them

1If I come into a room and bounce up to Lou-Lou like a clown, trying to amuse and entertain, she blanks me completely. It’s as if I don’t exist. If I walk straight past her, however, I guarantee she will call out my name and want to play with me.

2 Bribe them

Gifts work. Preferably something noisy or sparkly. With Lou-Lou, that means stuffed animals that sing or sequined hair grips. With grown women, I suppose that equates to, say, cars and jewellery.

3 Compliment them

I’ve mistakenly always held that compliments are like diamonds: valuable only for their scarcity. Flood the market and they lose all value. Not so. Lou-Lou poos in her nappy, everyone cheers – as if she just came up with a workable solution to world hunger – and she beams like a lighthouse. The same works with grown women, although, of course, only the general principle applies rather than the specific example given here. (I learnt this one the hard way.)

4 Listen to them

I’ve spent my life trying to preempt what women want. I needn’t have bothered. If I just pay attention, Lou-Lou will tell me exactly what she wants: eat, dance, doll, jump, run, sing, play, read. Then all I have to do is organise it. How much simpler my life would have been if I had listened and acted accordingly.

5 Apologise

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter if you don’t even know what you’ve done. I might have slighted Lou-Lou by putting the wrong doll in the pram. What seems to you or me like a minor infraction is, to her, on a par with genocide. The best policy is to throw yourself on her mercy and beg forgiveness. But you must sound sincere. You don’t have to be sincere, just sound sincere. This is so elementary, yet how many men ignore this advice?

6 Let them do it

Whatever “it” is. No matter how ridiculous it may seem to you, let her do it. When Lou-Lou gets an idea into her mind, there’s no talking her out of it. In fact, be supportive, encourage her even. Then sit back and hope she discovers for herself that it was a stupid idea. The downside is that she might decide it was an excellent idea. One day, I found myself playing dolls’ tea party for two whole hours and drank so many cups of imaginary tea, I was imaginary peeing all afternoon.

7 Don't tell them what to do

The best way to guarantee that she doesn’t do what I want is by telling her to do it. The clever thing is to make it seem like her idea – and make it seem fun. One of my proudest moments was convincing Lou-Lou that watching the rugby World Cup final would be more fun than playing in the sandpit.

8 Don't complain to them

This is a tricky one. What I mean by this is, don’t burden her with your petty problems. When I complain to Lou-Lou about a bad meeting or a sore back, she couldn’t care less, but if there’s genuinely something wrong, she will instinctively sense it and, with one hug, pick me up more than I thought possible.

9 Don't argue

There’s simply no point. You will never win, and if you do win, it will be a hollow victory because of the mood she’ll be in for a long time afterwards. Quite frankly, who needs the aggro? This leads to my final and most important point:

10 Don't make them cry

There is nothing more distressing than watching Lou-Lou’s enormous, innocent brown eyes overflow with tears, while her mouth becomes a gaping, drooling, mournful air-raid siren that pierces through to the core of my heart. I’m utterly defenceless when she cries. And there’s no known antidote. Food? Monkey impressions? A pony? Stabbing myself in the eye with a chopstick? I will agree to anything to stop her crying – and doesn’t she.

Beats and Styles feat. ELAPerjantai 25.04.2008 22:19

Tää on kyllä varmaan hienoin musiikki video jonka oon nähny moneeeeen moneeeen vuoteen. Tää on hemmetin hienoa B&S / ELA / MAX-C toimintaa. Sit viellä kakun päälle kermana ELA vetää englanniks! ihan huippua!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KkI12poR0qg

Thanks kaikille eilisestä!Sunnuntai 30.03.2008 20:37

Eiliset bileet meni loistavasti ja iso handu kaikille!

Pahojen Poikien LaulujaLauantai 29.03.2008 12:44

Pahojen Poikien Lauluja

Pohjolassa kansa on sen kaamoksensa vanki
Pimeässä askarrellen paljoa ei hanki
Mutta läpi talven seisoo tanakasti kanki
Ja jumalauta kaikki siellä silloin nai

Olin kerran kutsuttuna juhlissa mä näissä
Sellaista ei nähty edes Onassiksen häissä
Kulli oli käsittelyn jälkeen viikon jäissä
Ja lääkärikin tuumi että sitä puri hai

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

Juhlat alkoi siten että isäntä löi pöytää
Mulkullansa tietysti se helppo oli löytää
Heti piikalikka siihen perseinensä töytää
Pöydän antimia ryhtyi nuolemaan

Emäntä taas vieraallensa pyllistää ja vinkkaa
Kädelläänsä jalkoväliään kuin kone hinkkaa
Reumastansa huolimatta renki lujaa kinkkaa
Ei vieras ehdi ensimmäiseen varviin ollenkaan

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

Minullekin munaa kylään tullut leski käski
Joku siltä liivit avas pirtin täytti läski
Pillu tuoksui tuoreelta kuin viikon käynyt mäski
Siitä laatu enää tuskin paranee

Kaikki meni yleiseksi viikseen vetelyksi
Sähköä ei lainkaan kynttilöitäkin vain yksi
Sekin tuli jonkun persereikään työnnetyksi
Ja eiköhän se pimeässä mulkun virkaa tee

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

Siellä juotiin
Siellä nussittiin
Keväällä tyhjät oli pussit niin

S&S 19 UpgradePerjantai 28.03.2008 15:36

TOMORROW

Angst?Keskiviikko 13.02.2008 02:01

[11:46:26] (eL_make[19]) Akion
[11:48:57] (eL_make[19]) Akion
[11:49:18] (Akion) niu
[11:49:32] (eL_make[19]) oisko sul mitää sponsori hommaa tota
[11:49:35] (eL_make[19]) rank 4 klaanille
[11:49:43] (eL_make[19]) mitää servu hommaa tai jotain ?
[11:53:05] (eL_make[19]) Akion
[11:53:20] (Akion) evvk ?
[11:53:36] (eL_make[19]) pidä sit pääskiinni vitun urpo

A whole new world (Disney)Sunnuntai 10.02.2008 20:52

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me
Yksityisyys