IRC-Galleria

I just keep wondering why it all happened to me? Why was I saved? What can I do now, how can I go on? Was it all meaningless?

All 19 weeks I carried my child inside of me. I was him and he was me. He was part of me. We were one. I felt strange feelings, I didn't knew what was happening inside of me, what was happening to me. It was a miracle. No-one who have not been pregnant would not understand. And I still feel like he's with me, inside of me.

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I feel like something dark growing inside of me. I also feel ages older than 1,5 years ago. I feel too old and weary for this life.

Why the gift of life was given to me? So I could feel more pain, get hurted more greatly, and finally die bored in life? I can't see any sense of things that have happened to me. And it's killing me.

I am not trying to blame anyone. Although I would have a right to do that.

I have been hurted too greatly that I could heal.

Being kept in the dark about something, I canÂ’t even tell you how painful it is. You donÂ’t know whatÂ’s going on; you donÂ’t know whatÂ’s going to happen to you and your life. You don't even know why.

Being lulled into false safety and then being slapped in the face by truth; that's the greatest pain I have ever felt.

The best way to put somebody at ease is to inform them, even if itÂ’s the grim truth.