Born as balance guardian.

Inspiration from a song.Perjantai 18.08.2006 04:10

Look around yourself. What do you see? My educated guess is that you see a full set of four walls, a floor and a ceiling. Perhaps a window, and whatever items you might have scattered around in the sorry room you sit in. What you don´t see is that the walls are closing in on you everytime you look away. Slowly they move to tighten your space. Inch by inch. Sometimes making a small sound, that gives you a chance to guess what´s happening. Then you finally realise that the walls have moved. You have to run in the darkness to escape. Don´t pointlessly look out your window in search of a light to guide your sorry way. Or something to fill your hollow soul. If you seek God to stand above you, wrapping healing arms around you, you´ll find a different deity in my walls. Not your God. Not a god of love, care, hope or words. Only a god of pain, suffering and tears. I look at you, amused by your prayers, and tie my hallowed bonds around your hands.

See the door. Run. Learn the truth and deny the lies. See the world through your own eyes and don´t stare through someone else´s.

Or let the walls come unto you and give yourself to your god. Sacrifice yourself again.

And ask yourself : What have you gotten to yourself? What have you given away?

The anomalyMaanantai 07.08.2006 02:44

I´ve seen some lights
During my time in rows
But with or without fights
They´ve all turned to crows

They go for my eyes
Alone or in great packs
Until the leader dies
It´s bones gone in cracks

From a small opening
In the dark stained clouds
A light leaves the ring
Comes through the shrouds

By the frozen lifegiver
It was made curled
The light is quicksilver
The fastest in the world.

Siis meitähän EI väsyttänyt :'DDKeskiviikko 02.08.2006 04:08

MiNa says:

MiNa says:
musta tuntuu...

Krios says:

MiNa says:

MiNa says:
mua pissattaa. ;'(

Krios says:

Krios says:
Voi lasta.... ;8

Krios says:
*pat pat hali*

MiNa says:
niiiii ;'(

MiNa says:

MiNa says:
miten tästä eteenpäin.. ;'(

Krios says:
en tiedä jonkun täytyy tuoda sulle kulhe siihen :S

Krios says:

MiNa says:
niin pitää.. muttaku kukaan ei kuitenkaa tuo ja päästän kohta alleni ;'(

MiNa says:

MiNa says:

Krios says:
Lähen ajaa samntien :O

Krios says:
veskiin ??? ;O;O

MiNa says:
voi kiitos <3 <3

MiNa says:

MiNa says:
en keksi muuta vaihtoehtoa..minun..täytyy..

Krios says:
Voi sit sun kai täytyy :S:S

MiNa says:
sanomme tässä kohtaa; hyvästi.. ;'(

MiNa says:
meen vessaan...

Krios says:
ehkä tapaamme vielä ;'(

MiNa says:
ehkä vielä kun aika on oikea.. ;'(

Krios says:
Jos toivut joskus.... ;'(

MiNa says:
niiin.. se vie varmasti aikansa.. ;'(

Krios says:
Koita kestää, pyydä tukea kun tarviit ... ;'(

MiNa says:
minä pyydän....mutta nyt.. täytyy mennä...palaan..ehkä... ;'(

Krios says:
Toivon kovasti... onnea matkaan lapsi.... ;'(

MiNa says:
kiitos...isä.. ;'(

Krios says:
Uskon sinuun tyttöni... ;'(

MiNa says:
tein sen... tein sen sinun vuoksesi... kaikki se tuska..vain sinun vuoksesi... mutta selvisin..entistä vahvempana, voit olla minusta ylpeä isä!

MiNa says:
ja arvaa mitä...

MiNa says:

MiNa says:
mansikkatuutin ^___^

Everytime I close my eyes....Maanantai 24.07.2006 03:27

When I was a small boy at the age ten or so.... perhaps slightly more, my mind was screaming. Whenever I tried to go to sleep and closed my eyes, someone or someones started to scream in terror inside my head. This could go on for hours before I got any sleep. Thus, my sleep amounts were nowhere near what I would´ve needed. I can no longer remember when the screams stopped, but soon afterwards I started to see disturbing dreams. Of blood and death. Suicides, murders and violent spontaneus deaths. I still see them. And now the screams are returning. I don´t hear them often yet.... but I fear it won´t stay that way.

Stare into me through the windows my eyes create and see a world built only on agony, pain and suffering. And It´s trying break out of the prison of my mind.

In My Sick DreamsTorstai 13.07.2006 14:32

Once again I saw very disturbing dream. I was walking in a desolate concrete landscape. There were no hills or elevation anywhere .The world was flat. I looked around seeing only emptiness over a concrete world. Then I saw something. Grey human figures that withered in the wind. They were standing still. But always when I looked the other way, they came closer. Fast. When I was close enough to see their facial figures, I could see that they were indeed ghosts. They looked injured and dead. When I got close to one, its soul started to scream. It sounded like six dying females screaming for their lives at the same time. I couldn´t bear it. All went black.

When I re-opened my eyes, two of my friends from work were in front of me. We were in place similiar to the one I work in, but with some differences. It was like the area was built in the same style as the place I work in. For the record, I work outdoors in place with a lot of concrete and asphalt. And here everything was again made out of concrete.

Then I saw the ghosts again. They started to move closer. I grabbed the hand of one of my friends and walked him toward the ghost. He couldn´t see it. We came very close to it and the screams started again. He couldn´t hear them. He walked right through the ghost. He turned completely blue and all his bones shone right through his skin. There was an expression of horror on his face. Then he fell down. He was dead.

Then I woke up.

To seek out light.Tiistai 11.07.2006 00:30

To seek out light. It is the most basic purpose of all life. Just place a flashlight next to a worm and it will make its way toward it. Now. Take the light away from it. It will remain still until it finds a new light to go toward. How is this different from humans? Let me illuminate the obvious distortion here. Humans sometimes refuse to go on. They stop living and stab themselves. As a figure of speech.

Why does this occur?

Why does every single animal and insect alike in this universe always seek a new reason to go on after losing the last one?

Because they are not as intelligent as humans. Now we can start wondering if intelligence actually is a good thing. I believe it´s not. The less you have brains, the less worries you have. If humans were just a tiny bit more stupid in general, they would just go seek light. And be happy. All depression would be gone. It would vanish into thin air.

Then. We move on to the point. Of course one point already is that humans are too intelligent for their own good. But this is not my actual point.

In my time I´ve seen lights go out.... been extinguished. For some time I´ve been searching for a new light. I have found an equivalent for a light suprisingly often. Too often. As my lights have a way of going out. I don´t mean they´re dead. They simply go away from me. And I´m tired of it. Sometimes I wish I had the brain capacity of a worm. Or that of a pig. As apparently 99,976873% of men and boys alike are pigs. To keep a good humour, I don´t say here what word defines the other gender, females, but they don´t reach much higher... I´m not sure if they even reach the same level.

Tuska Open Air Metal Festival 2006Sunnuntai 02.07.2006 23:54

Fucking marvellous. To hear music with such terrible sound quality that it is hardly even recognizable as music. To fill your lungs with sand and get a catacylismic headache. To smell urine in disgust. To look at drunken people while being sober yourself. To be still alone after all this. Fucking marvellous.

Nevia kiusaa :'< sniffuli.Keskiviikko 28.06.2006 19:53

Kirjoita seitsemän kaverisi nimet, ja käy kysymässä ORAAKKELILTA kuka hän on ? Kysy lopuksi oraakkelilta mitä mieltä hän on sinusta. Haasta 3 ystävääsi.

Jenna - Eräs joka pitää sinusta.

Nina - Tarja.

Harri - Taiteilijaluonne Tampereelta.

Maaria - Joku tosi ruma äpärä.

Heidi - Heidi on ihana muusa. Jos halit sitä niin älä taputa selkään! Ja ole muutenkin kunnolla. Se on mun erityissuojeluksessa.

Marika - Minä.

Ville - Se vihreäsilmänen teijän luokalta....

Mitä mieltä minusta - Mulla on sellainen olo että sun kanssa tää juttu ei oikein toimi.

Ah olipas hauskaa... :D Ja en voi nyt haastaa ketään koska kavereita on mutta ystäviä ei ;D

Revelation.Tiistai 27.06.2006 04:06

I have nothing, and nothing else matters.

Näin tänään.Sunnuntai 25.06.2006 02:29

Pöllitty Arual^ :lta

"Vastaan seuraaviin kysymyksiin laulujen sanoilla/nimillä."

1. Sukupuoli? - "Mies yli laidan" Ruoska - Mies Yli Laidan

2. Mikä on suurin unelmasi? - "You became the light on the dark side of me" Seal - Kiss From A Rose

3. Mitä inhoat? - "Olen katsonut sinua silmiin ja sinä saatana valehtelet!" Turmion Kätilöt - Pirun Nyrkki

4. Millanen fiilis sinulla on nyt? - "I´m too weak carry on. I leave the world theres nothing wrong. I have to pay the price for love. Black roses in my heart." Blutengel - Black Roses

5. Miten elämäsi sujuu ylipäätään? "Cause´ all that ask for is turning to ashes when everything comes down. Theres nothing to die for." Ill Ñino - All I Ask for

6. Mistä asioista pidät? - "You´re the light at the end of the tunnel, the beacon fire in the dark" Sentenced - You Are The One

7. Minne haluaisit matkustaa? - "On taesto verinen herännä ja kylän immeiset kylymänä. Ei kuulu iän sotarumpujen. Ee soe laalu kaanis lintujen. Raaniot tuhkassa seesoo. Kalaman käry haesoo. Ver peettää rootasen muan" Verjnuarmu - Kärähtänyt Kylä

8. Mitä haluaisit sanoa (ihastuksellesi/tyttö- tai) poikaystävällesi? - "Seek me for comfort, call me for silence. I´ll be waiting for the end of my broken heart." Killswitch Engage - The End Of Heartache