IRC-Galleria

-Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.
-It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.

-Stupidity is evil waiting to happen.
-May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.
-How much of human life is lost in waiting.
-Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
-Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. Faith may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing.
-Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.
-Too many people go through life waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen!
-Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Ritari ja hänen joukkonsa palasivat linnaan pitkän ja raskaan
taistelupäivän päätteeksi.
– Miten pärjäsimme, kysyi kuningas?
– Teidän ylhäisyytenne, olemme ryöstäneet, polttaneet ja hävittäneet
puolestanne koko päivän läntisten vihollistenne kaupunkeja, ritari vastasi.
– Mitä ihmettä? kuningas huudahti. – Eihän minulle ole vihollisia lännessä!
– Aijaa... vastasi ritari. – No nyt on.

Kaverukset istuivat drinkeillä töiden jälkeen.
– Pidän uudesta puvustasi, tokaisi toinen.
– Kiitos, vastasi toinen. – Sain sen yllätyslahjaksi vaimoltani.
Tulin eilisiltana kotiin aikaisin. ja löysin sen tuolin selkämykseltä
makuuhuoneesta.

Lama-aikana kauppa houkutteli asiakkaita erikoistarjouksillaan.
- Miten voitte myydä lihaa näin halvalla? asiakas ihmetteli.
- Olemme leikanneet henkilökuntaa, kauppias vastasi.

– Tiedätkö, mihin papukaijamme on hävinnyt? nainen kysyi mieheltään.
– Luulen tietäväni, koska ihmettelin miksi kissa puhuu, mies vastasi.

-Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
-We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-He who teaches children learns more than they do.
-I love kids. I was a kid myself, once.
-When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.

-A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
-Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
-I could easily be a hero, were it not for the physical and mental pain
involved
-We've always been ready for female superheroes. Because women want to be them and men want to do them."
-When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species.

-I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
-I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
-"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?
-No matter how cynical I get I just canÂ’t keep up.
-Never play poker with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
-If you lend someone 20€, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
-I had to hit him : he was starting to make sense.
-This could be entertaining, meaning embarrassing.
-You ever look up the word dictionary in a dictionary? A little hand comes out and smacks you one.
-I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
-If you are completely buried in an avalanche, dig a small hole around you and spit in it. The saliva will fall down, giving you an idea of which direction is up. Dig up.
-"Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?"
"I was sober."
-You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
-There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
-I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff.
-"We've done a terrible thing."
"Yes, if only there was some magical liquid that could erase bad memories..."
-Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
-It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. Fourteen times.
-Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I...
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
-It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it becomes a scavenger hunt.
-You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.
-You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
-You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

-Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
-If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of your own, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give
-I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question
-Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
-Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
-Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
-God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night...
-These days you must be feeling tired and your legs must be paining...Dont worry,...Its only because you´ve running in my mind day and night!

-Eivätkö "hyvät asiat jotka tulevat niille, jotka jaksavat odottaa" ole vain jämiä niiltä, jotka saivat omansa ensin?
-Jos maksat lomamatkasi ja lentokone putoaa, saatko rahasi takaisin? (Selvittyäsi hengissä)
-Kuka oli ensimmäinen ihminen, joka ajatteli lehmää katsoessaan: "Puristanpa näitä roikkuvia juttuja ja juon sen mikä sieltä tulee."?
-Miksei käsikarvoihin tule kaksihaaraisia?
-Oletteko huomanneet, että vaihtaessasi "mother in law" (anoppi) kirjainten paikkaa, saat aikaan "woman Hitler"?

-I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.
-You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
-If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
-My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
-Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much
-God Said: "Let there be light." devil said "say please"
-For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. ThatÂ’s what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
-It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.

-The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
-I work until beer oÂ’clock.
-They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
-Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.