IRC-Galleria

lately i have been so violently angry about alot of things. were my life has gone in the last 4 years, every one around me and all the things that i am.
i am really starting to build up with poisonous hate towards men. fucking fucks!
in the last 4 years it has been one male or another that has fucked my life like a cheap slut. and even now they continue to annoy me. its bad enough i have this Rhys guy bothering me acting like we're gonna get married, but no, no i have some black guy chasing and stalking me at work and i have only been there 2 fucking days.
i feel so much pent up rage.
i have gone past being depressed and sad and i'm left just feeling angry. i'm desprate for some way to vent. i keep thinking about going back to boxing or martial art cause i have this desprate desire to hit things. i have nothing to relese my fustration on and it keeps building and every time something fucking fucked up happens... i builds a little more...
its so hot here and i hate the heat that makes my moody... people are being dicks to me here in Australia, i dont even know the people they are just getting in the way of my life.
And i'm so sick of missing people in finland. Its like an obsession. i cant even listen to any of Rihannas music any more i get so fustrated and depressed. its almost as bad as before, but this time i'm so angry as well.


you know who i cant wait to see again.. Asanti. i havent seen him in so long and we got along so well... i mean normally i dislike people when i first meet them, but this was instant like and i got along with him, it was nice having some one to talk to and have them understand ever word i said and not have to limit myself to smaller words... he's so fucking smart man!

i miss mira. i cant wait to see her again. every one here in australia that i'm actually talking to is dieing to meet her. every one is exsited.. but none more then me. Mira... she is more then a friend.. she is like the sister (i liked) that i never had.. she is such a higher level then a good friend or a best friend.

i miss Minja. she guided me through everything and helped me calm down, when ever she was near i always felt so at peace when she was there. she is.. my mother man... she shows me right from wrong and makes me feel safe deep down in the depths of my soul.

i miss capi and Tiia... they were the ducks nuts man. i can not count the times they were there for me... in so many ways. how they helped me through thick and thin. how we had the most fucked fucked up fun XP

Mert... mert, mert mert....
i dont have words for you. no words that i can write could exsplain what you mean to me. how do you exsplain something higher then anything any one else could ever hope to have.... how do you exsplain something that sacred?
you cant.
no one will ever find words to describe us.


in the same way.. that i love every one...
I HATE you all too for making me feel so like crap when ur not around.. but trust me.. more love then hate babies...
more Love..