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gimme summer night and stars i will show ma happyness

lookin through the fotos that dont represent
anythin
tho still it is seen how i changed durin the past years
how is it gonna be
that i cant find exactly what i want
the way i wanna be
the way when it is the real me
how long it is gonna take to be open perfectly for the world
they say im closed
but maybe i can be opened
to see the soul inside out
the naked truth
how long it is gonna take to put ma mind in order
to get the troubles all away
to find the way to go, holdin the hand of the one i got?
gimme a piano ill show u how i feel
makin the random sounds of me
ill play everything i had and hav
ill show how sad and arrogant the music can be bcz it is me
gimme a pencil and paper ill show what i got
with the simple lines i make
gimme ppl and music ill show how ma life is
ill make them dance the way it was

sometimes when im surrounded by ppl i still feel lonely. like ppl make groups and i dont belong to any of em.
rabbits.
fire.
fun and laugh.
wtf
u make it go all argh.

they say i have to be home at 8, do ma hw, and go to eat and sleep. well fuck it. im not doin it.
home? they call it home... do i call it home? maybe only ma room,ahhh, why cant i separate it?....

sudden wakin up and returnin to the actual world. after several days fo bein sumhow hypnotized by freedom and no time limits. and suddeny everything seems to be normal again, but this normal seems to be too difficult, too challengin, too much of it. april. almost half of it is done. got may left and well ok the other half of april. o'rite. this freakin time runs too fast. never hav time to do everything i want. it means i gotta abandon sum things, and most of the time it wud be those things that i like, that make ma life... complete?.. i dont like this word, seems too used in pop sosngs bout heart breakin and stuff. but well. and here we go. again im sittin typin here ma thoughts, and i dont even expect anyone to read it, thus it makes the whole thing pointless. cuz well i hav ma thoughts in ma head, and ma head is always with me.
p.s. seems like bullshit i wrote up there.
but anyway. gotta get the strength and do whatever im spsd to do. and i gotta do loads of stuff. many small things that turn up to be very important small things. like a thousand of those important small things. and they all mixed together make a huuuuuuuggggeeee ball of important stuff. and also, mixed together they cause panick and more lazyness. thats how i end up doin nuthin. pisses me off a bit. but well. i got only me to help in certain things, even tho i cud get sum elp from other ppl, nobody will do the exact thing i wanna do or i must do or whatever.
so... yea. everybody loves holidays, dont they? but after them u feel to pressured. well thats no good.

omg.... i think i cant actually hav friends, too tuff towards em. but at the same time i can easily get new, if i wish. and there is attention paid to me. what ppl see in me?

they knew each other for some days
she liked him, he had a girl
she tried to find some wayz
to get him in her world
they were talkin, laughin, she thought he was her prince
even tho she knew she is not his princess

she alwayz got so sad if he said sum kinda truth bout her
but still she gave him all her feelings
at the same time she was cryin, she didn even know what for
he knew it was a game
the reality she tryed t' ignore

she told him that she felt bad
she said it was bcz of him
she took it seroius but still it was a game
he said tha she was sick

one day, they met again
she got this happy spirit
she thought everything was not the same
but he just tryed to sorry for her pain

she ran away, even tho he hugged her
she cudn keep her tears inside
she ran away, blamin herself for this all
while he was aksin why

she started hatin him
she thought it was the end of life
she didn wanna get some help
she wanted to hav some cry

she just locked herself in her lil world
where everything takes the wrong place
she imagined that she didn hav support
she got it... she didn notice... to much of tears all around her

p.s. not about me

dislike: sexists, our english teacher, guyz, tomatoz, school and dumb fashion girls
like: guyz, chockolate, friends, summer, chill out

p.s. dilemma - i like and i hate guyz.....

A little bit of rain on ma face
A little bit of memories in ma head
Which rain drop will win this race?
Who with I will be killing maself?

How much rain will I run over?
How many words will I recall?
How many things in me I will find still moving?
After you went offÂ…..

And I will be watching rain shaking on ma window
Right now IÂ’m feeling this water closing ma eyes
They are trying to make me do this bow
But I donÂ’t wanna accept what I donÂ’t like

I believe this rain will stop when the time comes
I believe you will come back to me soon
You will clear away all ma scars
And I will avoid this strange doom

And this mordant rain will turn into nothing
The sun in me will be shining again
And I will look in your eyes flashing
Recalling ma unhappy past that is totally away

smth strange is happenin to me - i wanna juts sleep when i come home. and this happens all the time. and now i am sittin and typin and feelin that i'm gonna fall down asleep, even though i just dragged maself outta bed. and i did that anly because i hav ma trainin. am i sick in some way???????? bein soooo tired! hav no idea how i am gonna make this week..... with all the exams.....