i hate him, i hate him, i hate him!!Tiistai 27.11.2007 16:29

i'm absolutely exhausted. I've only had 4 hours sleep last night, which is bad times all round. I overslept by an hour, thus missed my TEFL lecture :-/ I'm angry that I'm overslept. But I'm angrier still, that I allowed myself to do it. My attitude to my studies is quite frankly at the moment dreadful, and I really need to get my arse into gear and change things. I've made some amends- in that I actually worked over the weekend to meet deadlines etc etc. But that still leaves alot to be desired.

Pav and James persuaded me to go out with them last night. It was a free event, so I didn't really begrudge it in that sense. But it wasn't the liveliest of nights, and it was made worse by the arrival of some of James' friends- including the delightful Becky and Fiona. I'm sure that they're nice enough, but I really don't approve of the way that Becky's treating Mike, who I feel very protective over, and as for the other girl, she was all over James, which wasn't my idea of fun.
But using the crap night as our excuse, Pav and I left the club and returned back to the flat, and ended up sitting in the kitchen with Ade and having a chat, which is really nice, 'cause we don't really talk to him much, but he is actually a really sound guy- he's got a fantastic work ethic, is mature, and is also really sensible, which makes a change from some of the other flatmates, not that I have anything against them. Noh, in fact the total opposite is true: I love and respect them all dearly!

But yeah. Just as I was getting ready for bed, James came home. First I knew of it, was when he knocked on my door as I was about to walk into the kitchen. He wanted to talk to me, because Sean was trying to pull Fiona. Heh. Like I give a flying monkey's about that?! Grrr. But yeah, he didn't bother in the end, and then we all sat in the kitchen talking. Then everyone went to bed, but I couldn't actually sleep.
Neither could James though, so he came and hung out in my room for a while...and I'm starting to think that he didn't leave until shortly before 5, 'cause we were talking way past 4am 'cause I remember commenting about it...which means he would have left around 4:45 o.O fucking hell. That explains the tiredness.

Had quite an ok conversation, although I did get a little riled towards the end, as he was in my bed. Fiend. But yeah, he persuaded me to miss my lecture today, which was bad times. Bad bad times. And OMG. I really am starting to lose my patience with him...slating guys I like, teasing me about things... I'm sick of being seen as one of the guys, rather than the girl that I am. You know?
I went early yesterday evening to the shop with Mike, and he said something and I said "you shouldn't say that in front of a lady", to which he replied "but you're just one of the guys." And that hit me like a smack in the face.

What's it gonna take for people to see me as a girl?!

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