IRC-Galleria

i hearded sheep today
omg
sheep r so.. oh so dumb
one.. shit up my leg nice and warm and all over my leg yeah...
until that i was actually having fun cause the little lambs are soooo cute X3

do u guys think it would be smart to apply for one of these? have a look and help me cause even though its MEANT TO be in english./. its not
http://haku.koulutusnetti.fi/koulutusnetti/supplyData.do?command=Browse basic data&resultId=7&language=en&dataType=supplyData&searchType=supplySearch

or...


http://haku.koulutusnetti.fi/koulutusnetti/supplyData.do?command=Browse basic data&resultId=6&language=en&dataType=supplyData&searchType=supplySearch

what do u think?

cause riitta has not told me any info.. and i'm starting to get worried

lately i have been so violently angry about alot of things. were my life has gone in the last 4 years, every one around me and all the things that i am.
i am really starting to build up with poisonous hate towards men. fucking fucks!
in the last 4 years it has been one male or another that has fucked my life like a cheap slut. and even now they continue to annoy me. its bad enough i have this Rhys guy bothering me acting like we're gonna get married, but no, no i have some black guy chasing and stalking me at work and i have only been there 2 fucking days.
i feel so much pent up rage.
i have gone past being depressed and sad and i'm left just feeling angry. i'm desprate for some way to vent. i keep thinking about going back to boxing or martial art cause i have this desprate desire to hit things. i have nothing to relese my fustration on and it keeps building and every time something fucking fucked up happens... i builds a little more...
its so hot here and i hate the heat that makes my moody... people are being dicks to me here in Australia, i dont even know the people they are just getting in the way of my life.
And i'm so sick of missing people in finland. Its like an obsession. i cant even listen to any of Rihannas music any more i get so fustrated and depressed. its almost as bad as before, but this time i'm so angry as well.


you know who i cant wait to see again.. Asanti. i havent seen him in so long and we got along so well... i mean normally i dislike people when i first meet them, but this was instant like and i got along with him, it was nice having some one to talk to and have them understand ever word i said and not have to limit myself to smaller words... he's so fucking smart man!

i miss mira. i cant wait to see her again. every one here in australia that i'm actually talking to is dieing to meet her. every one is exsited.. but none more then me. Mira... she is more then a friend.. she is like the sister (i liked) that i never had.. she is such a higher level then a good friend or a best friend.

i miss Minja. she guided me through everything and helped me calm down, when ever she was near i always felt so at peace when she was there. she is.. my mother man... she shows me right from wrong and makes me feel safe deep down in the depths of my soul.

i miss capi and Tiia... they were the ducks nuts man. i can not count the times they were there for me... in so many ways. how they helped me through thick and thin. how we had the most fucked fucked up fun XP

Mert... mert, mert mert....
i dont have words for you. no words that i can write could exsplain what you mean to me. how do you exsplain something higher then anything any one else could ever hope to have.... how do you exsplain something that sacred?
you cant.
no one will ever find words to describe us.


in the same way.. that i love every one...
I HATE you all too for making me feel so like crap when ur not around.. but trust me.. more love then hate babies...
more Love..

yay!!!!!
i had a great day today!
i got a job! (my old job took me back!)
the pants i brought cost 5$ less then i thought
and then i found an extra 3$ and was able to buy new shoes...
it feels pretty fucking good!

although...
its currently 51degrees... yes.. u heard me, 51 and fuck it is hot and i'm sweating worse then i ever have even in a sauna!
ur lucky mira.. u come in the winter it might be 20 degrees n_n
...................................

just checked the weather
its currently 55degrees D:

me, Dylan, Tyler and joel went swimming today and we swam and swam for 4 hours and nonw i'm all dry from the pool chemicals and when i got out we looked like old ladies XP.... now i'm so fucking tired. we have also started to play wii sport... which always turns into violent abuse of each other when some one is beating some one else, especially rhys XD and then we have no become addicted to Wii Fit...
i'm so hungry and getting huge happyness about mira comming!!! the more i think about it the more i want to be home in finland, i mean.. hey... its home. but i do worry about like a job once i finish the Au pair thing so ehhhh...dylan says hi

dont even bother about this unless deep down inside like me your a geek.
me and dyaln have revived our love of .. dear i say it Dragonball Z and have bene watching the episodes on youtube.
but we found this dubbed series and now life seems a little more completed XD
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=lj9IdUR7qaw

ok i realise i havent been on a hell of a lot lately. and i havent really filled any one in on why i have been internet dead now have i. so here goes.
me and my mother had been fighting since i came home from finland. about work, about home, about finland about anything and everything that came up. every one went on holidays off to the south and i had to stay home to look after the animals, this was during new year and a few days after as well. when she came home, i had a huge fight with her over nothing really. i had been on the computer all night and was still on at 7am in the morning because i had been talking to Mira and minja and then had started to read some emails. mum exspolded... and i got pissed off and so.. left... so i went to stay with my grandmother for about a month and a half before we finialy just got over it, neither of my said sorry and i dont think we ever will. in between, i went shopping in whyalla and horse riding with my cousin, i also tanned somehting wicked and i'm now pretty dam brown.. yahoo... opps i mean google.. but anyway XP
so now i'm back at home. i still dont have a job and i'm totally out of money. lucky enough, i am friends with all my old mates again. lorinda rang and said sorry and Colleen has been over my place the last 2 nights, she only went home this afternoon. and i have Charlies 21st birthday soon... like in 2 days XD
i havent started on the visa for the au pair, because i havent received any info from Riitta... on if she still wants me... and i need to know and we need to have a contract made before i apply you see.. so i'm getting a little flustered.
life has been pretty boring, no rel partying... no real action or bithcing.
boring...
i really miss going clubing and having sexy fun people to get drunk with... now.. here is the thing that erks me the most... suddenly every one here has coupled up... le'gasp. just like finland. all my friends are SUPER obsessed with their new lovers and well... from what i see.. i dont think i will find anyone soon. here.. there is just no one that would ever intrest me, i think i might just live a single life with my dog. its .. not like i havent had offeres... but every time i can see something wrong with them and it turns me off so... yeah... normally their either brain dead... or dead ugggly
i turned in on my bordom.. and actually watched a whole serise of DBZ... dont look on me as bad.. its a good anime its like.. legend!!! and i even found some new only just relese movies of it which me and dylan oggled over for about 45mins :D

i need to find soemthing to bring some spark back to my life.
everytime i talk to a fin.. which... hasnt been in a long while now... all i hear is how fucking cool ur lives are and how much action is in them... i'm so jelouas!!! but at the same time so happy for you. but so jelouas!!!

ahhh... oh well

so really my life.. as always.. is full of stress and bordom... i guess.

hmmmm
i dont think i have too much to report... i rather hear more about what happeneing with you guys. i really miss you all... and.. i feel lonely. i have no idea what is happening home in oulu and it bothers me, because its my life back there... its liek not being invited to the prom or something... knowing every one is having a party and ur at home watching the grass grow on ur own... yeah. thats a pretty good analagy...

i might update some photos... i dont really have much of intrest i guess... you would have to go out and do something to find something of intrest... and i live a life like a hermit!

i wish i was there with you guys...alot

i'm stalking them... :D i like em.. its cool! http://vladimirborowicz.deviantart.com/


oh yeah. i'm ok. nothing big to report. nothing that you wouldnt already gather, i still dont have any money, but i'm starting to get back with my old friends finialy. their trying to convince me to stay here in australia.. and i must admit their reasons make alot of sence...
oh well..
i dont know... life is pretty fucked around here now days... i really wish i could talk to my fins, but their never on when i am, and i'm hardly ever on now, and i dont think i could tell u everything that has happened either.
i miss you
so much
i was talking with my friend colleen last night she stayed over. and i was exsplaining that... i. i dont know who i am anymore. i used to... and i should still... but i dont know who i am without you any more, i have this over whelming feeling of incomplete and alone its quiet frightenig for me.. i just hope all the angst go away whne i come back to oulu.
me and colleen had the best fun last night though... tormenting her boyfriend on the phone and then we stayed up till 6am just talking and laughing about old times and having deep and meaningfulls <3
it was nice
i should go, colleens still here and i have to feed the poor thing XP
bye every one. i miss you and love you so much

ok i'm back, me and mum.. we have a kind of agreement and i'm back so dont worry too much. i'll exsplain things better. but right now i am in the company of my oldest and coolest mate Colleen, so i'll chat ya's latter when i'm not busy.
catch ya babes

ok,. so yeah u may have noticed i have not been on line, thats because i had a fight with mum and sort of maybe might have ran away form home and have been living with my grandmother...
nothing really intresting to saym, bar i havent stopped fighting with my mother and havent really been home in 2 weeks so yeah. what ever. oh i sent some letters and cards for u giyts, mira is gonna receive thema nd she can give them to you, u know save money since i'm still out of the fucking job and all that other fucking bull shit.
its still as lonely as fuck here and i think insted of getting sad this time i'm just getting angry at everything and every one. so.. yeah.. i hate my life right now.
i'd tell you guys the intresting stuff i have been doingbut i really dont have the time as i am on a computer at the puplic libary.
bye peeps.