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The past. The present. And the future.Torstai 14.05.2009 11:00

Sometimes I feel like my own mind is trying to brake me apart. It's like it has an imagination of it's own that I can not control and it's making everything seem so much more complicated than it really is. Sometimes I get caught by it and I find myself getting hopeless and sad about things that my subconsciousness has puzzled together. Most of the times I feel completely lost 'cause I have no idea what to think about those imaginary puzzles. I don't know if I should count on them or not. After a while I won't be able to know what to believe anymore.

That's when the panic attacks kick in. I feel like I can't breathe and I just want to run away from the situation and my own thoughts. But I can't do it without air.If I manage to control myself for a while and breathe in couple of times, I will be able to realise that my mind is making this all up just to break me. I'll hesitate for a while and then start questioning everything my mind is telling me to believe.

By now I have made a note to myself that my own mind is my biggest enemy. And I'm afraid. I'm afraid 'cause I'm not sure if I can control me, myself and I. But by knowing all this, I believe I am already heading towards complete mental healing. And the best part is that I have some beloved friends who are willing to pick me up along the way as many times as I need them to. You guys know who you are and I want you to know that I love you from the bottom of my heart!

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