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so we left my mom in Prague today, and I feel sadness, I didn't feel it until I came back home, it's so empty here
and I decided that I'm not accepting the next school now, I'll wait until September and if I need it, than I will apply again
and I secretly do hope my B+H plan will work :P

So far my fave song from the new album Syvään valoon and it reminds me of Varjot a lot especially when Jussi's voice graduate in 3/4 of the song.
On Czech forum they said it reminds them of Lasinsirpaleilla and yeah in some features it does.
And even though I can't remember the lyrics of Jäämaisema from heart so I don't understand it (even though I have the translation) it always touches my soul, sometimes a single tear drop escape a corner of my eye and I'm most definitely sure that when I get back to Finland okey Helsinki and go to see their gig and they will play this song, that I will do cry!
Altough I have no memories connected to this song, it seems to me like I know it for so long. As if it express all the time since I first see Uni in Vienna until last gig in Helsinki. And of course the memories connceted to that time not only with Uni itself.

Hehe, just watching Uniklubi from Yle TV and I got the idea that Antti reminds me of Tarja Halonen, really, no kidding :D

After Race wish this is my fave song now, by Sadie and it means something like 'the corpse of the swallowtail butterfly'.
Curso of virgo by Hizaki grace project is my fave album/pv or whatever it is for now, but I'm just stepping into the waters of Jrock (okey my last attempt few years ago didn't capivated me) and it's a world by its own!

Yohooooooooooooo, I got it, I wrote it, I managed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna celebrate it :P
Well, I have 49 pages for my final essay and that's all about brief history of Finland and Helsinki, tourist destination.
Now I will just have to check the mistakes and some editing and send it to my teacher for reading.
And then I just have to write about Tampere (no books about it in Czech), funny ...
But I'm so damn glad I got Helsinki after all, I have to admit, for the first time in my life I started to hate a bit this city (because I was 'in' it for several days, endless hours, day and night without a touch with reality, now it's over a bit).
Gonna celebrate it with a huge portion of Japanese music :P
Right now I'm listening to Sadie, really impressive visual kei band :P

Just a line I just have found, from song The Revenant Choirs by Versailles (yeah sure, Hizaki's recent project :P), and fell in love :)

But I wanted to write about my final essay. I have a huge problem. Others might think the biggest problem with final essay is that they won't have enough to write about and they won't fill those minimum oages which has to be covered. Well, I have the opposite problem.
I'm writing about Helsinki and Tampere (Tre 'cos I thought there won't be enough to write about HKI, silly me). So far I have 5 pages of history of Finland which I think is neccessary to know about if you want to get a hint about Finnish mentality.
Then I have 10 pages of Finns, just general. Like who they come from, about their language etc. Interesting things, not boring ones.
And finally I have 18 pages written about how to get, where to stay, where to eat, what to do in Helsinki (night life, LInnanmäki...) and now I'm coming to the 'best'. What to see? But it will be the widest part of the work and so far I have 32 pages without these attractions so yeah, I reached the minimun written pages for my work. But my work shouldn't be much longer than these 30 pages, like 40 is okey (without attachements) but I guess if I continue like this, I will have like 60 pages and no-one will accept my work, no-one will read it. So I will have to erase some parts, well, all that work will be in vain, but what I'm sorry about the most is that I can't simply erase all the interesting things and leave only boring facts and historical monuments....
Anyway, I'll see. I'm going to continue my work and leave all the questions for later.

Since I came back from Bratislava from my friends I somehow can stop playing this one video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDjumx-mY-Y
it's totally amazing!
and if my friend wouldn't be with Hikazi for dinner when she was in Tokio, and wouldn't tell me it's a boy, I wouldn't guess that, I had to laugh first when she told me :D

Let's read this post in... October, let's see what will happen.
I drew some plans for my life in next few months, I'm curious what will be the solution.
I answer for some job advertisement, now I have one offer unreplied and one will be solved in May.
In May I should find out if they accept me for the job in Barcelona, which I apllied soon enough.
In May or maybe later/sooner I will know if they accepted me for university.
In June I will see how great my final exams ended up.
And if I don't get a job or university seat, there is nothing to stay in Czech anymore and so the only possible way is to get to Helsinki. Woohoo, life is exciting!

hehe, right now I'm trying to learn this song which I always rather hated than loved for tomorrow's gig :D :D :D it will be tons of fun, I can't wait and not only for TR but also for my beloved Ali ja Mia :P
yaaay :D

Got answers for everyone, endless excuses
Not habit for anyone, cos I'm trying to break your click-track heart
Seen a vision of perfect grace, airbrushed and lifeless
All contempt and aftertaste it's like I'm waiting for the scars to heal

You're so Loretta young silks, fashioning your self-escape
You're so Loretta young silks, trading on your superwaif
All style before content, using me as bait
You're so Loretta young silks, swapping your love for hate

Soft focus for full appeal, pictured as flawless
No context for self-esteem, I'd be pushed to give you love on that
As far as the eye can see : too much perfection
Pure substance for wannabes, keeps you beating to a click-track heart

---

I have a new love :P This song is so special, not in the meaning, but itself which I love
I just bumped into the meaning of this song, okey, possible meaning
Loretta Young was an actress in 1930's obsessed with perfection of her face, body, whatever and a fake person, who tried to hide anything what was real in her, and that click-track heart is an inhuman, automatic heart, woah, I really like the song even more when I know the possible meaning behind it

here is the official video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgCleCTHvG8
but here is much better live version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWhfT9JmAuA